No I’m not trying to draw in the teen audience with the vampire trend. I’m talking about people that are sucking the dynamic, positive, obstacle-demolishing ambition out of you whether you realize it or not. I saved people for last because they can be the most difficult to cut out of your life depending on who you’re cutting out. If you finish this article and realize that your best friend/spouse/brother/sister/lover fits the bill, I’m terribly sorry… okay I’m not really that sorry because at least now you know :)
There are 4 major ways people can be dynamism vampires…
1) They are negative (energy suckers!)
These guys aren’t doing anything malicious, they just happen to be very negative people. If you’ve read any other articles on this site, you know my stance on how important it is to be positive. Negativity is contagious.
Have you ever been around a depressed, over-dramatic or worried person for a long time and felt physically and/or emotionally drained after even though you were in good spirits? That sensation is not just in your head or a placebo effect, it’s real. These so-called “energy vampires” can really drain the life out of you.
No matter how positive you are as a person, your “positivity potential” is being limited if you’re hanging around negative people. It’s as simple as that.
2) They drag you into habits you know are not conducive to your goals
Do you have someone with whom you always (insert verb) when you hang out and you just know you shouldn’t be wasting your time doing that? It’s easy to lower your standards to accommodate a friend but this can be harmful in the long run. If you hang out with them enough, that counter-productive activity could even become a habit of your own.
3) They do not believe in you
The doubters. These lowly beings can make even the most confident, driven people doubt themselves whether it be consciously or unconsciously. If you have big goals, you need all of the support you can get. Even if you, yourself are doubting what you can accomplish, it is the job of those around you to say keep going even if they don’t truly believe it. For those of you thinking that this is irresponsible, I ask you this:
Is it worse to go full out and fail or to give up prematurely and miss out on your dreams?
This is life. Failure is expected and will help you next time around. The people around you should bursting with belief in you or they are holding you back.
4) They cut you down with words and/or actions
You would think this one would be a no-brainer but I know tons of people that stick with their abusive, disrespectful friends. Apparently there is something in our nature that makes us yearn for the approval of those who treat us the worst (eg. girls that can’t figure out why they’re attracted to assholes). It’s a really backwards instinct and needs to be tossed out the window.
I don’t think I need to explain why this bad for you but I hope seeing this in words will be a wake up call for some people. These vampires are the lowest of the low and have no place in your life.
So do I use silver bullets or what…?
No silver bullets, you just need to bite the bullet and get rid of them. Here are some logical steps to wane these negative influences out of your life:
– Change them: Before you do anything drastic, try talking to them about changing their behavior. Be clear that if it doesn’t change, they won’t be able to be a part of your life anymore. It’s that important to you.
– Start slowly: Only agree to hang out if they contact you and say you aren’t available half of the time. When you do hang out, react strongly against the behavior that’s sucking the life out of you.
– The ol’ stake-to-the-heart: If the person is so toxic that you need them out now, just tell it to their face