Am I to be blamed?

 Rajiv Nelvoy (@rajivnelvoy) 6 years, 4 months ago

So I haven’t been on much and there’s a reason for that. I have been handling preparations for my sister’s baby shower which is not like that baby shower. It’s the Indian version of the baby shower with a lot of poojas(prayers) and stuff. It’s very orthodox. And it has been raining heavily for quite a few days. And we have a shitty drainage system (no pun intended) and the drainage water has been left unattended and a lotta cases like the flu and diarrhea has been spreading around. I was hit by diarrhea and vomiting the day before but now I am alright. I had a fever yesterday from which I have recovered. My mom has been sick since the day before I got sick and my other relatives were sick around the same time and they have all recovered but my mom is still sick.

Now there’s this thing in Hinduism for particular people where the Mother’s health and well-being depends on the son’s devotion to God. There’s this 10 minute mantra I need to chant every saturday and ever since she told me that, I have been doing it. But I missed it last saturday. And my mom said that the reason she is still sick is because I missed it and I think it’s a load of bullshit. If it’s true, that’s the most unfair thing I have heard. And I told her I don’t believe in it and then she asks me if I believe in God at all and I told her I am agnostic but I do pray but I keep it short. But do you believe that I am to be blamed? Thoughts?

December 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Manimal (2,993) (@manimal) 6 years, 4 months ago ago


You’re not to be blamed for her problems, only she is.

SereneMachine (2) (@serene) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

I agree. I don’t think that her illness is your fault. There are many reasons why one person might recover more slowly from an illness than others. I think that both her and your positive thoughts about health could aid in the recovery process. Placing blame or feeling guilty over a chant is not productive for either of you.


Not your fault.

Lizzie (5) (@nymzie) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

Only God knows if you’re to blame, not anyone on HE.

Flynnstone (813) (@flynnstone) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

Regardless of whether or not you really are to blame, it’s in the past, nothing you can do now to change that. If you believe that the mantra helps, do it again this Saturday but if not, then do what you want. Maybe do it Saturday anyway to make your mom feel better at least mentally. Sometimes it helps someone recover if she believes that she’s going to get better.

Amy (4) (@amyelizabeth) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

It’s much easier to blame someone else for your problems than to admit that sometimes shitty things just happen. She’s sick, everyone gets sick. Some people remain sick longer than others. I knew one friend who got the flu and was literally sick for just under three weeks. Other people I know usually get better after only 1 week. Different people, different immune systems. This has NOTHING to do with you.

Tm (0) (@tasneem) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

Nope you are not to be blamed. Rajiv I’m also an indian and i do understand the stuff quite well. But i suggest if you feel that mantra helps with her health problems than do it otherwise don’t do it or if you think it will make her feel good and you can continue doing it than you again start from saturday. Its that simple. And don’t blame yourself.

Ditty (10) (@aditya) 6 years, 4 months ago ago

Rajeev, you’re not to be blamed anyways…believing in god is one thing but blaming someone based on that is sad….

I’m a Hindu too …but I never heard of that particular thing(which is weird)… all the rituals anyone performs is a process of “believing”(to ultimately believe in one-self ) and when you don’t think prayers are ever gonna work out they certainly wont….

In short, we “believe” a tablet can cure flu and hence it does (we strongly believe it as it has “proven results” and blah)…”prayer” is just another form of it…I think…

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