Do you consider yourself introverted? Do you see it as a strength or weakness?
Personally, I’m an introvert. I like my own alone time and being by myself or with one or two other good friends keeps me insanely inspired. When I’m around large groups, my energy goes down and after a couple of hours I can’t keep up with it.
I used to think this was a bad thing, but I’ve begun to see that I can use that knowledge to my advantage and not lie to myself. And I used to associate introversion with being shy and anti-social, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
I’ve worked hard on my social skills for years now, and people wouldn’t label me as a social outcast if they met me..but I do feel the urging need to leave a party after a couple hours because I get bored of talking to so many people.
More importantly, i’m interesting in what your thoughts are on introversion.
Do you feel like it’s a struggle to be introverted in a very fast-paced extroverted world?
Do you want to learn to be an extrovert or at least take advantage of your introversion and still be a social person?
Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
When i first noticed i was an introvert i thought it was a bad thing and worked on being more extroverted. I originally thought it was being shy and anti-social too. (this is a huge misconception, A LOT of people have) Once i looked into it i realized it wasn’t all about being shy and not talking. There’s so much more to it and i have found that i love being an introvert.
I have found my introversion to be a huge strength. I am more apt to wait and listen, not jump in without looking or thinking. I
@feren6, Actually I do consider myself an introvert, and I’ve always thought of it as a downside. It seems like today’s world (especially the business world) is set up for extroverts. A lot of the “How To” books try to drive ‘extroverted qualities’ into your behaviors to ‘improve’ your characteristics.
But this year, I found a really nice book on introversion called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. by Susan Cain. Not only did it help me accept myself as an introvert, I started to accept the introverted aspects of my kids and started to see the value in there approach to quiet thoughtfulness, too.
@feren6, Yes. I’m an introvert. In fact, I’m classified as an “INFJ” according to the Meyers-Briggs test.
Here’s a short questionnaire you can take that actually has a lot of great insight into your character type. You can learn a lot about yourself by finding out your character type and reading about it from there.
@chodebalm, I took this quiz and got ISFP (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) it was much more accurate than I had assumed it would be! thanks :)
And @feren6, I do consider, and basically know, that I’m a introvert. I much more prefer to be alone and read, or paint or write or think or wander, anything mostly, as long as I’m on my own. Or with a close friend that I need not worry about, nor they worry for me.
At parties I also find myself tiring as the hours pass, I have no problem now about being a social person, its taken some time to get used to and its weird because actually I became fairly known by a lot of people in the party world and they no longer figured me antisocial.
I thought this was fascinating, because these people excepted me for being me, I just had to open up and share my own experiences, my own mind – which also sometimes is exhausting and odd at my end.
In the business world, it is true, that you will get looked over,assumed, not taken as full potential as others and the extroverts will stand out and – for a lack of greater words, walk all over you. Its all depends on the job you work though. You have to find the right balance between working introspectively and standing up for your work.
But, overall, I’m totally happy being an introvert.
@feren6 – Have you seen this TED video on the power of introverts?
Someone once said that being an introvert in an extroverted society is like being a woman in a man’s world. And, as both a female and an introvert, I can agree with that, lol. Yes, we’re equal but society will probably never see that because we’re not the default. While it is a little frustrating, I love being introverted. I feel more independent and I know that the few friends I have are great ones.
Granted, I do love hanging out and partying sometimes, but it’s never very long before I think “I wanna go home and play video games.” My sister is my complete opposite: always wanting to go somewhere and hang out with someone, do something… Very restless. I like being still.
I consider myself to be one yes as I fit many of the criteria I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. I recall always ignoring friends when they called or ditching them to be myself though most them did this too & also have an introverted quality
I’m not entirely sure though I’ve found more clarity as to what have might caused it. People with a really absurd ego always did/do irritate the hell out of me and not to sound like some elitest asshole because I obviously have one as well. I think that’s what really initially drove me away from people and shutting off emotions just the whole culmination.
anyway I think of it as both a good and bad thing but I embrace it much more now Because I’m always trying to pursue interests. However sometimes it does feel like i’m missing out in life when I become a little too hermetic lol.
@memarshall63, I’m reading that right now actually — love the scientific information involved in it. Thanks for sharing it…every introvert can benefit from reading this.
@chodebalm, I have taken the test a couple times..usually get INTP or INTJ depending on the month.
@mentalkink, Exactly! It’s all about finding that balance that’s right for you. Glad you enjoy being an introvert, though..we’re awesome :)
@ecoylogy, Have not seen this yet, I’ll take a look.
Thanks everyone for their responses so far…the reason I’m asking is because I want to see if there are people that would be interesting in learning tactics to embrace their inner introversion while learning the skills necessary to lead their own lives and the world.
I write on a personal development website for people that want to become leaders of their own life, and it seems that I want to narrow that down to teaching introverts how to accept it and use the extroverted skills when necessary..especially since that’s the story of my own life ;)
It’s insane though. Growing up I was thought I was just shy and anti-social, but knowing now that it is not completely correlated to being an introvert, my self-esteem and self-confidence skyrocketed. It’s just how we communicate as introverts, although people may see it otherwise. Learning how to accept it and optimize it has done wonders for me.
Lesson: just because you are an introvert doesn’t mean you are born to be shy or anti-social. It’s simply an orientation for how you get your energy and motivation in the world.
I think society is definitely shaped in the favor of extroverts. These days, even getting a job, it’s about who you know and not what your skill set is. If you don’t have very well-developed social skills, you’re fucked in a lot of ways. A couple months ago, I was in a student organization meeting that was voting on positions. Some of you may know what I’m talking about, but you have to give a couple pros and cons for each person upon discussion. And for one person, somebody called out “introverted” as a con, and nobody disagreed. This was the moment when I truly realized how negatively society views introverts.
I took a Myers-Briggs at the career center at my school, and I got INFP. The lady who discussed my test results described the I/E distinction as based on where you draw your energy from. If you have had a long day, what do you do to recharge? Some people mentioned wanting to leave parties after a few hours, It’s because having so many people around emotionally drains introverts. Maybe I’m biased, but I love introversion and would rather be introverted. I’m reminded of a quote from one of my favorite movies:
“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.”
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I tend not to talk unless I have something meaningful to say. And I’ve noticed that the things introverts say tend to be pretty powerful or witty. If I don’t have anything to say, I don’t speak. That’s it. I know some extroverts who rarely ever say anything meaningful, and I think a lot of deep thinkers tend to be introverts. Which makes sense, because deep thinking takes introspection, which is natural for introverts and something that’s difficult to do if you’re constantly in a crowd.
I would like one of the polls on the sidebar to ask whether you consider yourself an I or E. I wonder if the results would tend to swing either way.
I wouldn’t say I’m introvert naturally, but when most people do not undersatnd the points you make, you tend to adapt and limit yourself to what they do understand. I make jokes often, because I am capable of doing such and it puts others at ease. People who know me know not to pick my brain or they will end up confused with a headache.
I just took the test @chodebalm linked and I got classified as having an “ISFJ”-personality, which is terrifyingly accurate – I almost got scared as it describes me as how I see myself. So I guess I’m an introvert.
But after watching the video @filipek linked, I am not sure if I’m an introvert or just a shy extrovert. This is because, if I think back about 6 years, I’m pretty sure I was an extrovert – this, however, changed when I had a serious accident about 5 years ago. I might just be a shy extrovert, but I personally think that I’m an introvert as this sounds more like me.
@karlhorpestad, As I said in my post, what made me go more towards introversion was an accident I had back when I was 17 years old (I’m 22, almost 23 now). I’m not sure why the accident changed it, but I guess it’s because of the severe concussion and the small hemorrhages I got in the back of my brain at the time. Well, I can definitely feel some of the changes.
@michaelo, Very Interesting. I always thought that you would through upbringing become introvert or extrovert. So, you actually became an introvert through an accident, how did you notice this change?
Personally, I am very much an extrovert, so much actually that if I am not with people for one day I feel bad and lazy. Though, I think a lot of my nature is Introvert, which kinda kills me some times, cause I want to be alone for some time, but then I want to be with people too…
Yes, I’m introverted. I hate small talks. I only talk when I have something to say.That’s actually a good thing.I’m comfortable with my own thoughts, I don’t want to chit-chat with anyone.
It’s not bad to be an introvert.Without us world would be incomplete.
“A world without Introverts would be a world with very few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.”
@karlhorpestad, Well, I guess I noticed it when I was done with my rehabilitation. I talked with people, who told me about how I was before the accident, but I can also remember things, so I can kinda compare myself to how I was before.
I have definitely noticed some things:
1 – I have become more suspicious of peoples intentions towards me – I have a hard time trusting people. I usually don’t trust people until I’ve known them for quite a while. I’m not sure if this is having to do with being an introvert.
2 – I now like being alone sometimes, especially if I’ve been with other people a long time. Before the accident, I was busy being with friends all the time.
3 – I’ve been over-thinking way too much since the accident, I can’t stop thinking about things – or at least, I have to concentrate not to.
4 – I have only a few close friends with who I can talk about everything.
5 – I don’t like being together with large groups of people as it’s mostly light talking or being in noisy environment as it’s hard talking privately with anyone. I like to talk about subjects that matter, not small-talk or trash-talk.
6 – When working in groups, I’m usually the quiet one, thinking about things and if I get an idea, I often talk with one person about it and then he/she talks with the group about it.
7 – I don’t like being ‘in the spotlight’, being the center of attraction.
There are probably more, but either I don’t know or I can’t remember more without thinking more about it. Also, I don’t know if I described it the way I mean it, as English isn’t my native language.
I used to be the biggest extrovert person in the world (well at least in my town), but now I’m happy to say that I’m becoming in an introvert person. Being extrovert it’s fun guarantee for sure and you’ll be surrounded of people all the time, but when you arrive home and notice that you just had a bunch of one night conversations, that you know many people names but not people real feelings, that’s when you start to feel the emptiness of a social leader. I learned that I rather prefer to have a small quantity of real friends, of better quality conversations and listen instead of talking nonsenses.
After writing the upper comment I’ve realized there is just a stupid classification of introvert and extrovert, we shouldn’t be classified… Sometimes in your life you would need to act as “extrovert”, for example in a job interview (and we all know it) or at a party (because you are at a place which the only purpose is to coexist with people), the important and healthy response here is to learn how to balance when you have to act as an extrovert (because you can be) and when you have to act as an introvert. It’s not bad being one or another, I think the key is to learn to mediate, all types of excesses are bad. And the most important, we have to accept the way we are and not try to change only to be accepted, the change is good but only if it would make you a better person.
@karlhorpestad, Yeah, in some ways it really did, although I do miss “my old personality” a bit, I had such an easy time talking to people. But I also learned how to sort out between my friends and acquaintances, to see who really wanted to be my friends and who only used me and didn’t care about me (I guess this happened because of my suspiciousness of peoples intentions).
As to my accident, it happened because i was hit by a drunk driver without a drivers license (who wan away) when I was on my way, to what I think is the equivalent to high school, on bicycle. – so I’m not happy about people driving after drinking. Anyways, I was in the hospital, lying in a coma for about 2-3 days. I was in the hospital for a total of 13 days. I had gotten a serious concussion, small brain hemorrhages in the back of my brain, a broken femur on the left leg, a broken toe, a 16 cm long flesh wound on my right thigh (left a scar) and a lot of scraches.
After that, I was transfered to a place that specialized in these kinds of injuries. There I was in rehabilitation for 4 months and 7 days. And after that, I was given permission move home to my parents where I had to attend further rehabilitation for another 4 months.
After I was done with all the rehabilitation, I was told that had I just been lying for another 5 minutes, I would probably have died.
So yeah, I guess you can call that serious. But since I can be very stubborn, I’ve been able to reach about 80-90% of who/what I was before, so although I’ve gotten what the specialists call a “hidden” handicap, I’m very lucky in that respect (“hidden” meaning skill-wise, like concentration or overview etc.). I am now in the progress of becoming an Informations- and Communications-engineer (I guess it’s called computer engineer in English?).