During the Summer of 2010 my life started changing rapidly. I was in Venice, CA for three months working a motion graphics job. I had been unhappy with my self and the world for a long time, and I didn’t know what to do about it, but I wanted to do something. After moving there I immediately started feeling better and more self-empowered than I had ever before. I got a recommendation for medical marijuana. I don’t know if I just wanted to sample the local flavor, or because I was living with a cute easygoing girl, or exactly why I started to loosen rational scientific thought’s hold on my thinking, but at one point I decided to try to follow my intuition more. Just to see what would happen. After all I felt like that was one of the few things I was good at.
I began to notice that I seemed to be learning things… words and concepts, just before they came in handy in my life. It could be from articles or movies, but it always seemed like whatever I had taken in the day before was extremely relevant to conversation the next day.
It started to seem like something was going on, but I didn’t commit. I wanted to remain rational. I didn’t want to be insane. I couldn’t be sure.
I began to question the mainstream political narrative. I had always known the world was fucked up. “Why was everyone so stupid?” I thought. But there was no meat to that. I began to investigate alternative world narratives involving false flags, debt-based money, and high-conspiracy tales. I watched zeitgeist and esoteric agenda. I researched what was presented in these and found no clear answers.
Still I would find a constant flow of relevancy in all of my inquiries. The coincidences were stacking up.
Then one night I smoked two bowls of medical grade Blue Dream, and one bowl of Black Dahlia. I was tripping. My few times with lsd beforehand had opened up my mind, but hadn’t given me the certainty I needed to integrate that experience with my day to day consciousness. Laying on my bed watching videos, I felt as if every word I heard was a thread being pulled loose, a further deconstruction of what I thought I knew.
I felt an immensely pleasurable energy shoot up my spine into my brain and everything went white. When reality came back, I could sense a presence of this other thing I thought of as IT, resting just on the other side. It was feeding me wild thoughts about dimensions and the structure of reality, most of which I don’t remember very clearly, but I remember how IT felt and what IT looked like.
I woke up in the morning knowing that was something too cool to just ignore. It was big. I was what I had been looking for. Before I left Venice that summer I bought a book called Awakening to the Spirit World.
That was the story of how my life really kicked into gear. Over the next while, I learned about shamanism, historically and experimentally, had more interesting transcendental experiences, and through working cured myself of depression that had been with me as long as I could remember.
Then I read Liber Null & Psychonaut, found out about magick, and began to learn to own my synchronicities.
Can anyone around here relate to what I’m describing? I will go on if you’re interested in hearing more.
Thanks for sharing, I’ve had almost the same journey, although I don’t feel out of depression’s way, yet. So if you could please speak more about how you’ve integrated these lessons and synchronicities to lead a more confident and happy life, I’d be interested.
About a year ago things started to click and fall into place 1 after another at the exact moment that I needed them to. I felt very in-tune with my spiritual side and felt like I was making a lot of progress and kept being delighted by these ‘signs’ that I was getting closer. I’ve since been able to trace coincidences and turning points back 2-3 years that I think have been key in leading me to my current complexity and challenges.
But I’ve lost direction… I’ve come so far that I couldn’t ever let myself morally, emotionally, physically go back to my old lifestyle; but I still feel like I’m grasping for stability and truth. With all my acquired knowledge I feel no more able to change my surroundings. I guess I wish I could have the same level of faith that so many blinded sheep live their lives with. Right now I’m dedicated only to learning, and that’s a hollow purpose.
@versai, I’m glad you can relate. It helps with the stability aspect. But I will say that I believe we are a part of an emerging culture and way of being, and we are paving the way for everyone else to join when they will.
I’m going to try to help you and at the same time avoid repeating cliches, so if I do, they are more personal truths than cliches.
1. Figure out what you want and make it happen. This is a way to stay grounded and not lost in thought and emotion about the complexity of our world. Try to focus on the present and the task at hand. This can be the source of your stability and truth.
2. You are the one who determines how you feel. If something makes you feel bad then at some level you are choosing to submit to it. Meditation, drugs and reading have helped me learn to do this. I’m not perfect, but I am better for trying than I ever have been. (Basically, change the world, don’t let it change you.)
Some more in-depth techniques:
In Awakening to the Spirit World they suggest walking around forcing yourself to appreciate everything. Keep doing it, even if it doesn’t seem to do anything. It will snowball and start to work and you will kill your depression. It took me a few months or a year. In Buddhist terms this is called cultivating metta. I have also come to believe that appreciation is nothing less than an underdeveloped form of love. One of the goals of my practice is to fall in love with everything. It seems to be the natural continuation of the process. Can see how this relates to personal and global well being?
Have you any experience with congnitive behavioral training or metaprogramming? My advice about thoughts: Nip your negative mental programs in the bud when they start going. Banish them from your mind, and replace them with the positive opposite.
What is your paradigm of reality? The only thing I really believe in anymore is that we are in an interconnected system, of many layers and dimensions, and there are ways to work with it to get what you want. Including self-improvement and physical changes. I call this magic or magick, if I am being proper. Since it is all interconnected, it is all one.
Magick is the art and science of causing change in accordance with Will.
Magick is the art, science and culture of experiencing Truth.
Magick is the most natural thing in the world. It is how everything works. Everyone is doing it all the time, most people just don’t understand the details. Magick works through synchronicity, not hollywood style effects. Noticing synchronicity is to comprehend a bit of the Whole or oneness.
Hope this is useful. <3
@tamedlion, You’ve sparked my interest to delve a little deeper into the workings of my life, as I have been kinda going with the flow. However, I have been noticing some ridiculous synchs.
For instance, just last weekend I met this kid who’s name is “Flash Gordon.” I still can’t get over that. Anyways, that day I met him I was wearing a hat that was EXACTLY the same as his shirt. Coincidence? I’d like to think not. It makes me smile when the world sends you a sign, even if you don’t know which way it is pointing.
As for Magick, it’s really just one of 100,000 ways to explain the invisible currents that work around us. The strings being pulled behind the curtains, Universal Life Energy, Qi, etc.. And that really resonates with me.
I think I’m starting to get it, just slightly.
Haha, I was actually just searching for this. Speaking of synchs, thank you HE! http://www.highexistence.com/videos/view/alan-moore-magick-art-and-shamanism/
@urbanuncia, It sure sounds like you are. I stopped believing in coincidences a while back, so I’m sure that wasn’t one. And yes I agree magick is just one way to talk about it. That’s the thing about language–it’s a trap because it divides people who can’t see past the symbol to the meaning.
many of us here have been talking about synchronicities occuring on a statistically unprobable scale. For me, when im thinking about something or someone, it just appears in your reality. Something is definitely afoot!! I had a huge happening last year and will post the specifics very shortly.
@urbanuncia, I’ve seen that clip before, it’s great! Have you seen the disinfo speech by Grant Morrison? It’s pretty awesome too, I just put it here http://www.highexistence.com/videos/view/grant-morrison-the-disinfo-speech/ for everyone.
@cheeky, I can’t wait to hear more. Reality is getting pretty cool these days isn’t it?
Thank you for your recommendations/techniques. I have experienced small “awakenings/evolutions” throughout my life. Each one was precipitated by synchronicities that, when conscious and accepting of them, led me to further my growth intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. Currently, I am in the midst of what feels like an ebb in my growth, which has caused some frustration. I certainly feel that this was no accident I stumbled upon your post. Thank you.
I remember one day, at a party, about a week after taking mushrooms I says to my friend “Have you seen IT yet?”
… that is all
@cheeky, cool, where?
@swayflo, Good deal. Hey do you ever listen to flying lotus? Your username is ringing that bell. In my world, growth happens in a wave form. There are highs and lows and middles. If it seems like it has stopped, you’re probably just in the trough of the wave.
@ijesuschrist, haha yeaa, I love psychedelics/entheogens.
@tamedlion, I completely agree and hold the same view. My use of the word “ebb” was used intentionally as I feel the wave is flowing backwards. In a sense, I feel that there is naturally some degree of recoil prior to further growth but with that being stated, this feels different this time. The best way to describe it is a diminishing of my ethereal being… and that is where your words were most helpful.
I struggle with my scientific, rational mind and my intuitive, empathic nature. I have not meditated in a while and need to desperately reconnect with myself, develop the focus to redefine my own path and be more diligent in cultivating metta.
Your use of the word magick is wonderful. I have always called it the universal flow.
I’ve never heard of flying lotus, but I’ll be sure to look them up.
@tamedlion, I don’t know, if I had some advice to give, it would be to NEVER assume that you aren’t living in a delusion. I mean don’t assume you are, but also don’t assume you aren’t. That’s what humility is. What does ‘magick’ or shamanism have anything to do with your enlightening experience? Those are just concepts and ideas about something isn’t a concept or an idea. You didn’t think your way into having that experience, nor did you logically deduce a plan to make yourself have it. All that stuff is unnecessary in my opinion. I don’t doubt you had a mind expanding experience, just don’t let your thinking mind trick you into trying to connect with other dimensions and spirit worlds and all that stuff.
@danfontaine, @mikeyw829, It does sound crazy, I completely understand how many people probably have that perspective. For a long time I wasn’t confident about my experience, and this crippled me. I had so much cognitive dissonance going on because I didn’t want to go to looney town, but I also couldn’t explain what I had seen and felt with a materialistic and scientific map of reality.
It took me a few years to integrate my experience of ‘some other shit’ with normal reality and be able to talk to people again. What I have described so far doesn’t have much to do explicitly with magick or shamanism… it was only my awakening to those possibilities.
In the years since 2010, I set about learning about more spiritual maps of reality, and testing those against personal experience. And in my experience magick seems to work. You can prove it to yourself, try sigils. The implications of this about existence are profound, and probably seem crazy to a classically minded western individual. But the magick I’m talking about is a part of the western esoteric tradition, so that makes sense.
Shamanism comes into play when I use entheogens, like cannabis, and stronger psychedelics. In addition to what I have already described I have mediated with cannabis and caused a white light to errupt behind my eyes. It was very calming and felt good. It probably has to do with the third-eye. (A few weeks ago I achieved a similar sensation completely sober.) I have taken drugs and felt entity contact, and another time communed with Ganesh in a more symbolic way. What does this mean? I don’t know, but it happened to me and I’m trying to integrate it. Ask if you want the details.
For a while now I have felt that science and spirituality have to merge again if we want to sustain our presence on this planet. Before, they were unified in the practice of shamanism. Soon we will unify them again into a modern form of it. The process is currently ongoing.