Being just friends with someone you love?

Profile photo of Faithflower Faithflower (@peacelove) 5 years, 1 month ago

Is that possible, and would you try to maintain a friendship, or would it lead to trouble later on? Or can you sacrifice yourself for someone by just being friends, and not letting romantic feelings take control. And would you accept a friendship with someone who in fact loves you, or would it feel like taking advantage of someone? With love I mean romantically.

April 21, 2012 at 5:15 am
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herhighness (0) (@herhighness) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

The only way that it could be an issue is if the one who loves the other wants to take it to a relationship level and can’t accept it if the other person doesn’t feel that way, because then those feelings could carry over and interfere with the happiness and life of that person you love, and you don’t want to do that to someone you love. As long as you are able to love them without attaching yourself to them, there shouldn’t be an issue.

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Jetfire (5) (@jetfire) 2 years, 10 months ago ago

Do the two of you want to be friends? Then be friends. Do the two of you want to be romantic? Then be romantic. If either of you does not want one of those then accept their feelings. If you cannot do that then you do not respect them and should neither be their friend nor their romantic partner.

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Ray (4) (@brainofmorbius) 2 years, 10 months ago ago

Do not assume that friendship is some how “lower” on the scale of intimacy or comittment as compared to romantic love, and I think these issues resolve themselves..

Romantic love can in fact be much more troublesome and more a waste of time than friendship…as most learn in their lives sooner or later, the hard way.

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Sylvan832 (0) (@Sylvan832) 2 years, 10 months ago ago

I met a woman a year ago that I asked out. Her daughter is one of my students. I am a teacher. Her daughter quickly said to mom ” please don’t date my favorite teacher” . Shortly after that the mom asked me if I would be just friends. And we became very close friends. When I say close I mean we have a very open honest relationship. Except for one thing. I hid from her that I was falling in love with her. It took seven months for me to come out with it. She responded that she does not feel the same. I am still friends, good friends. I have tried in my consciousness to accept her as “just” a friend. She is a true workaholic. She is driven. I end up helping her with numerous projects. Cleaning out the garage, designing a logo for her client, rebuilding stone on her stairs. Lately I feel like I’m being used. She rarely invites me over to watch a movie or do something fun. That, I always initiate. Her daughter will be my student for two more years. I guess I was hoping that after the two years we would turn into something more then just good friends. And now where both dating. She wants to talk to me about her dates. After I leave her house it just makes me angry and jealous. I have stayed in this friendship because she told me that I am the best friend she has ever had. I need some feedback…I really do!

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

no they’re just friends. You make a lot of them while travelling. not every guys head revolves around sex. you watch too much tv if you believe that shit haha, I have many female and male friends. I’m attracted to a fraction of them. I dont know why people make it sound like its such a difficult thing. Its not that boys and girls cant be friends, its the person who says that, that has the problem with the sex their attracted too being friends.

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Graschi (62) (@graschi) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Listen,

If you are heterosexual there is no way you can be JUST friends with a girl, unless you are not attracted to her at all. Sure, you can hang around girls without having any feelings for them, but you can’t be friends with them (i.e. have deep relationships). No way.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

what are you talking about haha, are you asking me questions or answering them for me?

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

how can you possibly know me, better than me? thats absurd haha

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Graschi (62) (@graschi) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Beside, keep in mind I was talking about feelings, not necessarily sexual drive.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

dont have so little faith in the good that mankind can be capable of because you choose to focus on the bad ;) <3 you’ll understand one day if not now.

peeeeeaaaaaaace :)

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Graschi (62) (@graschi) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

What is your definition of a friendship?

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

yeah im talking about feelings. I have many examples but i’ll give you two as you seem to have a problem with trying to comprehend it at the moment :P lol

I have two female friends, One is from australia, the other is from poland, they are both pretty. I had every reason to be attracted to them if i wanted to be. But i was interested in another girl, so i became friends with these two girls as i was working with them, and we became very close friends. I now see them more as sisters than as friends. But they are not sisters, and if for what ever reason i decided to see them any other way i could do so if i chose to. But i like our friendship exactly as it is and do not wish to spoil it with sex.

the males you are reffering too are the uneducated ones. please dont compare me to people you have met before because i assure you i am quite unique.

you have never met me before and i would prefer it if you acted that way. rather than acting as though you can speak for me.

also hinting that im not able to follow the conversation by stating that you were talking about feelings and not sexual drive. I know exactly what you are talking about you dont need to clarify. also you avoided answering my questions.

i have nothing to prove to you. i just gave you my opinion.

you can choose whether or not you want to believe me thats up to you.

I can honestly say i wont let it bother me :P

but please avoid answering questions for me.

I am perfectly capable of answering them for myself :P

haha you are a funny character arent you :) i like you lol

enjoy your day.

nice speaking with you.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

someone who i love, who i do not wish to have sex with.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

wise indeed! :) <3

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Graschi (62) (@graschi) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

I don’t have anything against you, and sorry if you felt neglected, but the way the human body is built make us unable to interact with a person of the opposite gender in a deep relationship without one starts to feel emotions for the other person.

Are you sure you wouldn’t take the chance if one of your two female ‘friends’ offered you to be more than just ‘friends? – And are you sure they don’t have any feelings for you, what so ever?

Yeah, I have seen a girl and a boy be together without they are having a relationship, but every single time (without any exceptions) one of them has feelings towards the other. Most of the time it is the boy (i.e. friend zone), but that isn’t necessarily the case for you. I don’t know you that much.

Of course, you can hang out with a girl (even on a 1-1-basis), but there is NO WAY you can be JUST FRIENDS with her. Look it up, and read a little about the psychological aspect of it. :)

Have a nice day!

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Graschi (62) (@graschi) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

Just curious, bro, how many friends do you have?

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

The way the human body is built? You don’t know what you’re talking about. My closest friends always have been females which doesn’t necessarily mean we’d make a good match. Don’t tell people to look up something you never lived. You don’t have to necessarily like them this way, you know? Say if you’re male or female gay there would be no way you’ll be just friends with other gays because their bodies are built like that?

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

neglected? care to elaberate why you think that haha?

I can assure you i wouldn’t take the chance. haha you’re impossing how you react onto the world outside of you stop it its wierd!! lol we just want to be your friend stop telling us how we’re thinking. lol you seem so sure you have me figured out its hilarious?? haha add me on facebook. you can talk to my friends all you like.

i think you’re confused :) we’re not on the same wave length, or i’m confused :) or all of them.

you are treating the people you talk too like they are not people but subjects to be studied. I’m afraid you’re missing the point of life :)

i’ve read on it extensively. And i’ve made my own opinion up which is apparently very different to yours :P

enjoy your day too. :)

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

add me on facebook and find out.

tentninja@gmail.com

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

by find out i mean watch the quality of the conversations i have, not count how many facebook friends i have.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

i think they mean well, just a little misunderstood is all :)

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

by they i mean people who don’t think on our wave length.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

no offense to the people not on our wave length.

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Blah (361) (@tentninja) 2 years, 11 months ago ago

lol :D

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Sylvan832 (0) (@Sylvan832) 2 years, 10 months ago ago

Thank you for that. I hope that will be true for me. It’s hard when we are in romantic settings. Like I took her to a Sarah McLaughin concert.

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