I read today that basically mental illnesses extend to everything that could make up a personality without that person being aware that it does and others who are mentally ill can subconsciously pick up on this, and feel like they can relate. They start liking each other before they even realize the other is ill.
This had me thinking of the friendships I developed in the last few years. I found that the majority of them had similar issues, such as alcoholic parent, drug/alcohol problem, food issues, etc. So, I made a list of friends I feel closest to and the issues they had. Then, I was trying to figure out of those people who had I sought out and who had sought me out. My results were very interesting.
I would encourage anyone who feels like they are attracting or attracted to certain people to do. Doesn’t just go to if you’re crazy you will attract crazies. But, you could be reenacting a past relationship in search of a different outcome without being aware. Or, stuck in a rut. Maybe you’re attracted to these people because you want to help them, or you don’t feel worthy enough for a healthy relationship.
There are so many different reasons why the people that are in our lives are there, But, it’s worth exploring.
This didn’t come out at all like I had planned lol, but I hope someone gets something out of it. Let me know if you gave this idea any thought and how that turned out.
I noticed at one point my attractions to women were ones that were quiet, but pretty. It came to my attention, one day, that I was looking for girls who had similar upbringing as me, confusing, thought provoking, even depressing. I was drawn towards girls who had depressive issues, as I did when I was younger.
I became totally aware of this by college though, I started to realize I liked the girls that went through that and came out ok (but those that didn’t were another story).
It is interesting, for sure. It would be odd for me (us – people in general) to step outside this, and go for people from completely opposite spectrums. Financially, my gf at the moment is completely different than me, and her upbringing with her family far from similar, however she did have a heavy bout of depression a long time ago.
However, under the circumstances with which we met, I don’t believe I was very much driven towards this, nor would I have ever known.
Anyway – totally a legit thing, and I can definitely say this was the case for my past girlfriends (jesus, now that I think of it, ALL of them!)
To me personally, capturing a moment doesn’t mean staying in it forever. It means understanding what moments to create for myself and others. Which also means that the past is everything I gather my knowledge from to create a better present. The way it works is complex and not just one situation defines it, but if the person understands me on an instinctual level in different situations I may feel comfortable to be crazy with them.
The differences and similarities between people never stopped them from attracting each other. A person may hold on to just one trait of another one and start building some kind of a relationship. The bigger the spectrum of your emotions, the more people you will attract and will be attracted to you if you don’t have principles.
Like attracts like, but so do opposites. The word Crazy is a pretty loose word, technically most people have some kind of disorder or two, but crazy gets a negative connotation, like you are crazy therefore I am superior, but I tend to believe the sense of superiority is a neurosis in itself, possibly one of the worst.
Maybe I’m a little off topic; some people have the “fixer” mentality, similar to messianic complex, where they seek out broken people with the intention of making them better or saner, that doesn’t end well, the “fixer” tends to frown at failure, or at least a lack of progress, but if they do attain success the relationship is fundamentally over, the “fixer” needs something to fix.
Then you have the two equally messed up pair, who fill the wholes they have in each other, although that sounds good, it usually becomes a crutch relationship (wtf, how the fuck do I know? Don’t put much stock in what I say, I’m not exactly an expert, just dropping some opinions :)
i think you’re overtanalyzing the various reasons “crazies” attracting each other and its just another pattern of like attracting the like. If you’re dysfunctional, that’s how you function so that’s your functional. Your first ever learning experience about your reality of human relations comes from the family you grew up in, so it makes sense that it would have a pretty strong pull in your subconscious preferences and pattern.
I realized about a year ago that I almost consciously choose to cultivate friendships with people who have the same emotional issues as myself. I’ve been trying to be friendly towardds people who seem healthy and have attributes that I’m working on in myself (confidence, discipline, exercise regularly, etc.) but it makes me physically uncomfortable. For example, around people who have obvious issues similar to my own its usually pretty easy to be witty and joke with them but then around healthy people I feel intimidated and end up just feeling (and probably looking) slightly retarded.
And then there’s also the whole thing that when I tell myself I have emotional issues I feel anxious and inept but when I tell myself I am emotionally well developed and have adjusted well to this reality, then I’m suddenly happier and more relaxed. Which makes me wonder where exactly I fall on this scale of crazy.
We are all crazy, and that’s how you find friends.