A few years ago I did something risky with meditation, but I didn’t know yet, and when I woke up out of trance/sleep I experienced something inside my body left my body near the area of my stomach or heart i dont know anymore, something that cries, because I literally could not cry, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I saw two huge black holes where my iris used to be. Does ANYONE know this, it really freaked me out because till this day i don’t have an answer what happened……and even since that day i happen to experience strange things and a lot of disturbing and weird dreams, strange thoughts now and then…so now i don’t know what happened…
That is by far the scariest meditation story I will ever hear, but going into a trance, or sleep of any kind does induce hallucinations. You probably dove too deep into the darkerside of your subconscious, so you should really make it your top priority to get the hell out! lol how? stop meditating for a while, and if that doesn’t work (I’m sure you won’t want to do this) seek professional help. good luck clearing your mind.
It could be that your pupils were extremely dilated, I think it happens as a result of increasing awareness, not sure about that, but certainly there is some connection.
But you give us very little information, why don’t you tell us more about your dreams and experiences, maybe we could help see the bigger picture? You say you could not cry, is it still like that?
I’ve had a very similar experience.
Don’t know what it was, but it hasn’t had any negative impact on my life. I’m pretty sure it’s had quite a positive impact really.
The black eyes thing is pupil dilation. This happens when you meditate, since you don’t let the eyes get as much light as they’re used to, the pupils expand to take in more light. This also happens when you’re furious or madly in love, and when you’re on speed (or shrooms and some other drugs.)
My pupils stayed dilated for a long time after that event, not as much as right after it happened, but they were still unusually big. I’ve noticed this in a bunch of meditating people too, unusually big pupils.
Don’t fear whatever it was you stumbled over in your meditation. No matter what it was, it was already there, you just found it. Better to know what’s lurking around in the depths than to be in the dark and not know how to deal with it.
And don’t be afraid when you feel like something changes or leaves your body, because those are the parts of you that aren’t really you, that which is holding you down.
It can be scary, stressful, even painful, but the only way out is through. And it’s always worth it.
Enlightenment aint all flowers and love, there’s an equally big dark side of the coin as well. You can’t have one without the other.
@gosho, It was one night when i freaked out about me being too much stuck in sexual desires of my own and others and i wanted to rid myself from those claiming feelings, so i meditated all night and when i fell asleep i had this dream about a friend of mine committing suicide, so i freaked out and started to pray, i could just pick up the phone and call my friend so she called me and i cried on the phone telling her i did not know thinking she was going to die but i didnt tell her that, i was so scared that some part of me wanted to die, because i felt this friend represented a part of me that was pure and religious, after that i prayed and there was a huge light that came inside my body and some inner voice that did not wanted to be here anymore with all these gross thoughts and desires.
after that i heared people talking about the things i thought inside my head at that moment, while i did not spoke, when i fell asleep that day the next day my eyes were like two huge black holes and i could not cry anymore, as if some part inside my body near my heart or stomach had died, it felt empty and dead. I thought i was dead at that moment, because i could not cry anymore, my eyes were empty.
then i thought about the dream, and it felt as if it was (part of) me that was committing suicide, but i’m in full conscious non suicidal. so i walked around with empty eyes a few days till i freaked out and had these disturbing dreams of being in another dark world of shadows and scary creatures. i woke up in my dream in another house that had almost no light. when i woke up i projected that house onto my own house where i live. i still could not cry, but i suddenly saw smoke out of nowhere near a chair inside my house, as if something was there i dont know who or what it was, but it felt as if i was in someone elses house. then i freaked out thinking i died and i lived in another house.
i ran to my friends house to tell them, they prayed with me but they could not make any sense of what i was saying though they saw i was not in a normal state of mind, and during the prayer suddenly the light inside my body came back and i could cry again and my desires were gone. only to know that since that day i have disturbing dreams about being dead, murder, rape. now these dreams are not that frequent anymore, but i still have disturbing rapist dreams and being imprisoned in prostitution it scares me i dont know how to get my life straight because i fear so much the things in or with me …….i dont know if it makes ANY sense…
my strange thoughts are about people i am close with or people that come too close, i see them differently in black huge creatures or white lights and i get these flashes about their environment…..i dont know if it makes ANY sense really it sounds so weird…………………i just don’t know how to proceed which way to go because i’m scared to do anything that might make me unstable…including meditation or any supernatural subconscious thing because i dont’ understand whats happening to me when i dream or when i meditate etc.
@manimal, how do you mean those are the parts that aren’t really you..? i mean before the meditation there was something inside me and i could cry, after the drama described above there was something near my heart or stomach that was just empty as if someone robbed your heart or stomach out of your body, really weird, and i could not cry. Is it that you also could not cry, i mean literally, not that i’m emotional but i could physically not cry, my eyes were empty….
“Nothing real can ever be threatened” -Yashuah
We lost that whatever-it-is, yet we’re still here, we’re still alive, we’re still us. Just the same as before.
Whatever it is that left, it clearly wasn’t you, it wasn’t necessary for you.
What’s the matter, really? What’s the big deal?
So you can’t cry… but what do you really get out of crying? Does it make anything better? Does it feel good?
I can’t cry, and I can’t get angry, I lost that. And I’m fucking glad I did, because those things had no value to me, just pointless ego drama bullshit.
Becoming empty is the whole purpose of meditation. Getting rid of all the junk data, getting back to a clean state of mind. What’s so bad about this hollowness? And why did you get on the path that takes you there if that’s not what you wanted?
Sadness serves no purpose, it’s just pointless attachment and suffering. It’s actually really dumb when you look at it from a distance. It’s just feeding the parasite that dwells in our egos. The “devil.”
Hollowness is illumination. That’s why they call it “empty your mind” and “be formless.”
It’s a subtractive process, cutting out all the bullshit that’s blocking your perception of the truth. Such as sadness, anger, gluttony, envy, etc.
You are hollow, the things with which you try to fill this void ARE NOT YOU. We are all hollow, it’s not a bad thing. It’s actually incredibly nice once you get used to it.
And no matter what objects, what stimulation, what people you try to fill the void with, in the end you’ll be alone and hollow just the same, and none of it will mean anything.
The hollowness is not what scares you, your reaction to it is.
@manimal people can cry out of extreme joy or happiness, that enlightens the body inside or when you smile a lot. There is a thing inside your body that lives inside your body and it is energy or light that moves around your body. It is the feeling of being in love with someone, then it moves upside down inside your body between your longs and your belly and it burns..it is some kind of energy, but i only see it like that because that thing was gone outside my body and it came back, so it was not merely bodily experience, otherwise it could not get out of my body.
well i thought the no desires route would make me more happy and more in tune with what i believe to be true about the world. YET now i dont know if what i believe about the world is true because the no desires route did not work that well, because i did not understand anything of it, i only experienced it but i could not find any meaning to it, because i dont have the knowledge that is going hand in hand with what is happening.
Because i dont have the knowledge i thought scary things, so in that way it is true that my reaction to it was scary because someone made me scared because that person was all chaotic to me, so then i became scared.
Next time when something like this happens i should just stay calm and watch what happens without judgment of fear perhaps that would work better……
Sadness darkens, deludes, it doesn’t bring any light. It’s just a lingering pain, caused by unhealthy attachment to circumstances.
Whether you cry tears of joy or not doesn’t affect how much joy there is in you, joy is just joy, it doesn’t make you do anything. Some people laugh, others cry, others just smile, but some people don’t do any of those things, this doesn’t mean they’re less happy.
Reactions are just reactions. It’s all ego.
Feelings are just illusions, feelings are nothing but a reaction of the ego. They’re not necessary. They have their pros and cons, just like anything else.
If you feel some kind of energy that burns, that’s an indicator that something isn’t right, it shouldn’t burn unless there’s a lot of tension, friction, resistance, whatever you wanna call it. That’s where negative feelings come from, and possibly a whole host of physical ailments.
You don’t know if what you believe is true? This is a great insight. Here’s the thing, belief is just belief, if we cling to beliefs we get lots of emotional pain whenever there’s a clash between these beliefs and true reality. Always keep beliefs at some distance, question everything, and there won’t be a problem.
Belief is often the bane of understanding and knowledge.
Nothing and nobody can MAKE you scared, unless you let it. It’s a reaction, a chain reaction. Just pay attention to your reactions, and you can easily stop them with some consistent effort.
And remember that the mind can project all kinds of illusions for itself, including things like energies and such. They can seem very real. A lot of what you think is real, really isn’t real at all. This applies to everyone.
Enlightenment is a subtractive process, removing all the bullshit, not adding more of it.
“Sadness darkens, deludes, it doesn’t bring any light. It’s just a lingering pain, caused by unhealthy attachment to circumstances.”
@manimal, Sounds like you havent understood the sadness part inside of you, maybe havent given it a chance because you are too afraid of it. That is clearly a misinterpretation of what sadness and crying can be for an individual. It can be used as a powerful tool, but first you need to understand it more.
@yoinkie, Sadness is only a reaction to inner war. No inner war, no sadness. Sadness is part of the inner war, it is not a powerful tool.
Sadness is pointless.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Sadness has no place in my life, I am not afraid of it, but I’m through with it. Because it’s useless, because I have better things to do, because that part of “me” is long gone.
@manimal, Sadness must be viewed as a temporary and useful state. It is okay to be sad. It is there to help you learn something important, and that is to solve a problem When you protect yourself from it, avoid it all together, put it in your pocket, or surround yourself with people trying to “cheer” you up, you just eliminated learning something useful. First, that you have the ability to make solid changes to the loss or failure that warranted the sadness and second, that you have a tool bag to go to to cope until that change takes effect. Again, sadness, like all emotions, is a temporary state, our bodies do not sustain the emotional impact for long, so use it while you have it.
Consider for a moment loss and failure. Largely when someone dies, the first question we ask is “How did he die? What happened?” and then we come together as a larger family and social unit. We reunite with people we have not seen in a long time because someone we mutually loved died. When we fail at something important to us, we ask “Why did I fail? What did I do wrong?” Both events trigger a need for an answer, we need to feel as though we can avoid the thing that killed our loved one or avoid the thing that caused our failure. So in order to find answers to these questions, our collective bodies evolved and adapted in such a way as to slow us down, temporarily, first to focus our minds so we could think about our loss or failure and what it means to us and second to display to others that we are experiencing loss or failure so that they come to us with possible answers to our questions! Despite how bad sadness feels, you have got to admit how handy this system really is.
Without sadness, you really are just a one dimensional being.
@heartbeat, When you dive deep within you will experience all parts of your being. I remember one night I was doing some weird forms of meditation. I gave permission for the negative side of my being to be let out. I experienced incredible existentialism. No meaning to life and at the same time it didnt matter. My vision kept going black in the trance as my eyes would roll to the back of my head. my room was dimly lit by the moon and I looked outside at the stars. I shifted my focus to the window where i saw my reflection. My jaw went slack and looked like it was broken and being torn from my head and my eyes went completely black. I saw a demon in the reflection and it was me. It scared me so much I snapped out of the trance.
@yoinkie, It is ok to be ANYTHING. Judgement and suppression don’t do any good, it’s for the ego-puppeteered fools.
Sadness itself is the only lesson there is to learn from sadness, in other words, you learn that when you do shit wrong it hurts.
“When you receive the message, hang up the phone.” -Alan Watts
“Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity.” -Albert Einstein
Sadness isn’t real emotion. Sadness is an ego reaction. It’s thought-based.
Coping mechanisms are for the ego-deluded fools, coping brings you into delusion, the wise person never feels any need to cope because he realizes that there is nothing that calls for coping. Because he’s not judging and suppressing things.
Impressions stay for as long as you choose to keep them.
Collective bodies? Proof of the mere existence of these, please? Ah, didn’t think so…
Also, going up to random people with solutions/help is a LEARNED behaviour, it’s not evolutionary, it’s morals and habit. EGO. Some people are taught to do this, others aren’t.
Sadness isn’t handy. Being slowed down is not a good thing. It’s a distraction. The “focus” is on non-existent bullshit that makes no difference. Relying upon others for answers or comfort is not practical.
A human cannot be a one-dimensional being. Such claims just make you seem stupid.
We’re multidimensional. Sadness isn’t a dimension, it’s an ego thought form.
Beliefs are not truth.
Results are truth.
I have seen the results, I know how to get rid of sadness and anger, from the roots of them, I have done it a bunch of times, to myself and to various other people. It works.
I know my ways around the mind fairly well, because unlike most of you who just have a bunch of theories, I have proper studies and lots of first-hand experience of applying things and seeing how they work for real.
Sadness is bullshit. It just holds people down.
The wise choice is to get rid of it. By getting rid of the trigger, which is a small bunch of frequent common idiotic choices that pretty much everyone does (which is what gives the illusion that everyone has this bullshit.) We’re not born with it, it is something we’re taught. And it can be unlearned just as easily.
@splashartist, hm do you believe somewhere in something like scary creatures or do you believe part of you is scary…? because i thought of that as well, while in normal modus i don’t think like that at all about myself, but somewhere deep down there is this hidden terror i can’t quite place…when i was in this state of mind, due to excessive meditation or maybe even some form of uncoordinated trance, i felt this madness or weird thoughts that i felt where not mine, but i can’t quite put the link between it being part of MYSELF or being something outside myself like for example scary creatures beyond me….I dont know if it is me i should be scared about really, my subconscious or something else and what the reason would be there would exist something horrifying beneath the surface……