DISCLAIMER: I am not recommending anyone take illegal substances, but many people who are interested in exploring different states of consciousness through yogic practices and mediation and so on are often interested in how some psychadelics can serve as a sort of ‘shortcut’ to similar states. In the interests of education and allowing grown adults to make up their own minds in the most informed way possible, I am writing about my own personal introduction to DMT.
I am a relatively experienced ‘consciousness explorer’ and have been interested in the ayahuasca ceremony and DMT for about 5 years now. Well, I just tried DMT for the second time and it blew my mind, for the second time. Having read about other people’s experiences, I have noticed a couple of differences between other trips and my trips: Firstly, most people go on about seeing so much: I had some visuals, but they were secondary to physical sensations and crazy states of awareness. Secondly, people seem to experience time slowing down and 10 minutes feeling like hours, whereas I found that around 12 minutes turned out to be what I would have estimated to be 2 to 3 minutes. The DMT trip is so fast!
First the visual rush of patterns was there, fractal forms growing out of every detail (like my friends freckles!). I closed my eyes and some of the detail was lost, but patterns flashed across my ‘screen’. This culminated in very bright lights, as though someone had just turned on a lot of moving strobe lights right in front of my face – I still had my eyes closed. The sound was very particular, similar to something I have read somewhere, it was somewhere between ‘cellophane being ripped apart’ and ‘the fabric of the universe being torn asunder’. I felt a brief glimmer of a presence, a presence which had been there the first time but which I only recognised as a presence in that moment of the second trip. Visually I barely detected something like and Aztec mask with a grin, masked in colours and movement. And the presence did indeed seem to encourage me to let go and pass through to the other dimension.
My body literally melted to nothingness, seemingly dripping away in globs. I felt like I was in some way experiencing the first time and the second time simultaneaously, in fact I was experiencing all times simultaneaously because I was connected to all times and all spaces. I passed through a type of plastic film which seemed to separate my normal reality from the other reality. I appeared to be there on the other side, almost as though I were only a few meters away. But in reality I was gone. I was no longer. My body was not. The visuals were secondary to this. It was pure sensation, physical and emotional.
And I just kind existed in another plane, incredulous that I could possibly feel something so far removed from reality. I remember muttering a few words, ‘holy shit…. oh my fucking god… oh wow’ and I noticed the music again, but far in the distance, tinny. Normality was starting to return. I even felt that I had moved closer to the plastic film which separated reality from the dreamspace. I was about to be unborn and return to my old body. As I returned to my body, I started to notice I actually had a body, and I found myself saying ‘oh, hello body. There you are!’
I remained closed eyes and in awe for a few more minutes. Within 20 minutes of taking it, I was discussing the experience with friends and feeling incredibly normal.
This is one of the most amazing things about DMT: you become SO SO far removed from reality that when you find yourself back and feeling normal it almost feels like you couldn’t have really experienced that. With acid, you feel weird the next day and have moments of weirdness over the next week or so.
I also felt a clarity of thought after the experience, but I have a feeling this was relative to the complete lack of clarity a few moments before. An appropriate comparison would be to say that after an earthquake, I’m sure the floor feels more stable than normal.
Now, I have always been very aware of all physical sensations in my body, for example: I like to lie bed before I sleep and feel the blood pumping in my toes, and my legs, or anywhere. I like to hear rythms and beats and music in ambient sounds (like traffic or washing machines). So I think that this aspect of my attention in general affected my trip. I think this is an indication of how much your own personal habits of thought and attention and mood patterns will affect thr DMT trip. I am generally a very calm person who is very interested in learning positively from experiences.
For anyone thinking of doing it, I would say, do your homework. Read the following article carefully
It has some really excellent advice (except for the weird diet stuff, but each to their own). Be ready to leave reality behind. It’s likely that you will have moments where you feel SO far removed from reality, from yourself, that you will doubt that it will be possible to return. But know that you will.
You will be so far gone that you should try it in a safe, relaxing place where you feel comfortable. And with a friend or two who will respect your trip and not make any noise. You don’t want to be worrying about people coming into the room unexpectedly.
Think about your own habits of thought and attention. If you suffer from anxiety, you should think carefully about whether you can handle completely giving yourself over to another state of existence for a short time. You will lose the ability to control your environment and your thoughts. Be positive. If you feel that a bad trip is likely for you, don’t do it now. Read more experiences. Learn more about it. If you are unfortunate enough to have a bad sensation when you do try it, just remember, IT WILL END and you WILL feel normal within an hour or so. Probably emotionally affected (hopefully euphoric), but physically and cognitively normal. Just don’t panic. If you are generally a happy person who is happy to go with the flow, chances are you will feel sad that it ended so quickly.
This is both the good and bad thing about DMT: it is so intense, unreal and disconnected, you probably want it to be short. But it is also so intense, astounding and rich, you will feel that there wasn’t enough time to fully appreciate it.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience with you guys and hopefully help someone make the right decision about whether or not to try this incredibly intense other-worldly experience.
For the record, as much as I like many of the descriptions of trips out there, I do not think this is a drug which necessarily gives us much insight into reality and other dimensions and the possibility of life after death. It is a way of changing your brain chemistry and having a really fucking intense and short trip at lightspeed through another reality (purely in your mind), a trip where you travel so fast you barely have time to notice half of what is there. This is an incredible demostration that your reality is decided by your brain, and your brain is capable of transforming your experience of reality in unimaginable ways which cannot be done justice in human language. Well, at least not by me.