So a guy asks me out on a date, and I am not attracted to him whatsoever but I say "yes" because I would genuinely like to be friends with him. Is this okay? Or is it not okay to go on a date with him when I don’t feel that way?
If I were in your situation, I would say “how about we just make it coffee instead, before we get to know each other?” That way, you are just going out for coffee and a chat instead of an actual date.
It’s acceptable. You’re just hanging out and you must tell him that you’re not attracted to him. Just don’t twist his mind, because then there would be no way for you to be friends. Cheers.
Or maybe he’s just bored and you think that you’re oh, so beautiful. Hahaha. Sorry. :)
Haha, thanks guys. I’m not positive it’s a date actually. Let me re-phrase. He asks me if I want to hang-out, maybe go hiking or play pool or something. This is a lot more casual, and it’s true that he may just want to be friends too, correct? OR is a guy asking a girl to do something like this still imply that he wants it to be romantic? Sorry, I’m kinda new to the dating thing.
I was thinking “HELL NO, that is terrible” but then I started thinking of all the times that I wasn’t given a chance AT ALL. Give it a chance and maybe you’ll fall for him. At least if you give him a chance, he’ll feel a little more fulfilled that way.
In situations like yours, him asking you to do stuff one on one normally tends to be a date. If he were asking you to go with him in a group setting (eg. hang with a group of friends), it would probably be a friend thing.
Just some ideas/thoughts im tossing out there.
Ohhhhhhh that’s why stupid bitches thought I was hitting on them just because we were alone. Oh, God. Please, don’t think that way.
That wont make you guys friends. In his mind it will probably make you an ex. Once he gets the real message, he wont want to talk to you anymore most likely. But if you stop it before it happens its less likely to end in termination. A guy has a hard enough time hearing no without you saying yes! lol
It seems like you’re having troubles speaking your mind. Start from there.
OR just go out and have fun.
If you go out and tell him something like that and even share that you’ve made a thread about it – he’ll either laugh his ass off, or he’ll run away from you. Good luck. :D
i envy that you could be so blunt like that.
I’ve been in the same situation and its really hard to put some one in the friend zone if they don’t want to be there, and if you don’t want to hurt their feelings because you genuinely want to be friends with them.
lets just say i think I’m pretty good at leading guys on… oops
@kayla – Hurt their feelings? This is a great misconception. Men don’t hurt like women do. There are a few exceptions, but if you’re hanging around with pussies, what does that say about you ?
And what’s this “to put him in the friend zone” shit ?
Do you even realize that you are putting yourself in this friend zone? Can you tell me how many guys had put YOU in their “friend zone” ? Probably not. :D
That’s exactly what I thought. I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. I figured I would just ask, because quite frankly, I’m not very aware of dating etiquette. I’m glad to hear that generally guys don’t fell “sad” when a girl turns them down, and I’m happy to be put in the “friend zone” and put him and the “friend zone.” Thanks for the advice!
If you don’t mind me asking, what is so godawful about this bloke? Why do you want to be friends with him at all if he is so dislikable?
Not that I think friends and dating are the same thing, but from what it seems there is something you strongly dislike about this person. Like for example, I couldn’t date a yuppie-ish person, and I wouldn’t want to be friends with one either.
There is nothing godawful about him. In all honesty, I would say there are several small things that I would be picky about in a mate, but not w/ a friend. For example, his voice irks me, he is shorter than I am, and I really just am not attracted to him. But we have similar interests and he is a cool person. That’s really all. I know it’s shallow, but I am only 18 and right now looks are important. I wish they weren’t but I really can’t help it. I’ve been corrupted by pop-culture…. :(
Don’t get me started. Pop music is the worst form of music. I passionately hate it too. However, pop-music isn’t what I was referring to. Pop-culture is basically all encompassing, in regards to media, which is very hard to escape. Trust me, I’ve tried.