Hello people of HE. Im fairly new here but I have been secretly scoping and reading around the forums of the site for some time. Im extremely happy that I found this site seeing that I don’t really know any others that deal with the topics that HE does. My problem comes in the form of meditation. I know what I’m supposed to do but I don’t know if I’m doing it correctly, actually I’m pretty positive I’m doing it wrong.
When *attempting* meditation I’ve tried both sitting and laying positions. The problems arise in both positions *giggity*. The first problem is that I don’t know how or what to visualize basically. I close my eyes and see the darkness of my eyelids. Now am I supposed to visualize things in the THAT darkness or do I just focus on my breathing and eventually my brain will go into a meditative state?
Secondly my heart beat goes berserk when I’m attempting to meditate. I know it should be slowing down but my speeds up and completely messes up my focus on breathing. Mainly because it pounds so hard you can see my chest vibrate. Idk why it does this but if anyone can shine some light itd be great.
The third problem is a biotch to me because when also attempting to meditate my buddy *Down there* gets wayyy to excited. I should be calming down but my body seems to be doing the opposite, what gives?
P.s. if this isn’t on the right board, my apologies I’m still new :x
stop giving a shit about doing it right and just sit with your eyes closed and listen to your breath
idk why your body is freaking out, maybe it’s resisting the calming effects of meditation due to some kind if suppressed anxiety
.instead of trying to stop every thought from coming into your head (impossible..), try focusing on one specific thing like the air moving in and out of your nostrils. make sure there are no distractions around you and there are little things such as not eating right before meditation and whatnot but see how you do with that technique. its simply to clear your mind and relax its not hard it takes practice though. good luck!
I’m yet to really meditate, I’m going to work on it though. My guess about the sexual excitement is that you have some pent up sexual tension you’re not dealing with that is showing itself when you let go of your control a bit.
For your last problem. It’s just natural blood flow. The way you’re sitting probably causes it to rise. It’s no biggie. Just meditate with a hard on.
For your second problem, I often feel my hearts about to explode as well and when thats the case I just listen to it. Instead of focusing on your breathing focus on your heart beat and how it pulsates your entire body. Or how the rhythm of your breath intertwines with your heartbeat. Meditation can be tailored uniquely to each person. Just don’t miss the point of the exercise: clearing your mind.
Hope this helps.
@sooflez is right, meditation is subjective, a little different for everybody, you just have to find out what works for you and use it. as for medi-rections…don’t sweat it, the more attention you pay to that or any other distraction, the harder it will be for you to go where you want to go.
again, find what works for you and apply it
as for the erratic heartbeat, there is a possibility that you are putting to much anxiety into the thought of meditating, which could be causing this spike in heart rate, remember don’t try to relax
don’t think about relaxing
Visualizing is very hard, especially in the beginning. Try to use anothr object for mediation, preferably the sensation of the breath (around the nostrils, in out in out).
The rest is just not being completely in your comfort zone yet. Try to focus on completely relaxing your body, letting go of all the control (on every out breath).
Also, don’t expect to be in a meditative state immediately, this takes time and practice. Just stick with it. And better yet, don’t expect anything at all (impossible I know).
Like the rest already said: do not worry too much about it, I have started meditating approximately 1 month ago (I have had some experiences in the past, but not too much) and I still feel like I am not making any progress, because the ‘annoying’ thoughts keep coming back. But I think you just have to be very patient and consequent, because this change will not happen in one day. The more you will practice the more it will come naturally. Focus on your breathing, it is the easiest thing to do I think, or when you feel your heartbeat pumping fast, focus on that.
Everytime disturbing thoughts will come into your mind, just change your focus back to your breathing (or whatever it is that you are concentrating on) and be persistent with this. In time it will be better, I am sure! Do not give up, be consequent and persistent!
Sometimes in order to gain control we just have to let go of the control totally.
I have always had issues with position/comfort due to my height (I am 198cm or 6’6″).
Any “standard” position I have read about causes my legs to cramp to the point of becoming completely numb or excruciatingly painful, which while I know meditating should not be an exercise in comfort, I have to assume it should be at least of a comfort level so I am not distracted by the pain.
Any thought on a position where I will not have to fold my legs? Is lying down a workable alternative/
@jesusbob – I get excruciating pain when I sit in meditation, but as long as it doesn’t persist after meditation then all is good. Through meditation you can eventually detach yourself from the emotional attachment to the pain. The pain changes from pain to something else. Focus on the pain and try to pin point its physical location, this helps in shrinking it down.
I tried to get comfortable, but just fell asleep and woke up with parts of my body fully asleep (blood deprived).
I’ve seen people build fortresses of pillows and blankets, but in the end they are still in pain. It begs the question, is it possible to sit in the lotus position without pain?
@jesusbob, I personally do not think you have to attain this position you are talking about, in order to being able to meditate appropriately. I sit on the couch or a chair while meditating with my feet on the ground. In this way I feel ‘connected to earth’ and I imagine the energy flowing from earth to the top of my head or vice versa.
Position doesn’t matter so much, I’ve had my best meditations on my back – comfort is the most important as far as strictly meditation goes. Disciplining the body though is another thing. Which should be as important to you – And the full lotus probably brings the fullest level of attentiveness when it is performed without strain. You can try sitting like nearly cross legged until your body gets flexible at bringing the legs inward. By nearly cross leg I mean both legs bent inward but not intersecting, one in front of the other
What Martijn said was really important, relax on every out breath. I’ll add; on every in breath, intensify your focus on the meditative object. There is something to this expand/collapse rhythm that really brings you to a harmony while meditating. It’s why your breathing is such a good object to focus on, because the physical movement of the entire torso cavity mimics the rhythm that will bring you further into relaxation and attentiveness.
@filipek, I disagree with your advice on focusing on your heartbeat. It’s actually not a good thing to do since it excites you instead of calms you down. Just let the heart do what it does best, and take the breath as your object of meditation. After a year of practice, breathing becomes something very pleasant, a source of inner joy, and funny thing is, it’s something you remember, something you already knew but forgot.
@danfontaine, Spot on advice.
I will add that the breath has another special feature: It becomes automatically fainter. So it’s harder to focus on, so your meditation’s skill level increases. It draws you in, and can easily lead to the first jhana.
(I had my first one in 2 months of practice, but I have to say, I was very motivated/commited/dilligent).
A good thing that has worked for me is tie in your thoughts and breathing. Breathe in thoughts, and let thoughts go with the exhale. Worked wonders for me. The two are similar as well. You can control breathing and thoughts, but they happen regardless. :)
Being comfortable in the lotus position is something that takes extensive yoga stretching practice and is developed over a long period of time. You might look into a walking meditation technique. I agree with others that stressing about your position, etc is defeating your purpose. Just focus on your breath, your mind will wander but just be forgiving of your ‘self’ and gently bring your focus back to your breathing.
@hollowinfinity, Great point Alex.
Another thing I’d like to add: Thoughts are more likely to pop up between the spaces of the in and outbreath. So it might work to pay close attention to where and how thoughts pop up, and how they feel (much different than being in your body).
And everytime you notice a thought, you should be happy, because that is what you need to train, that is being mindful.
One thing I’d like to add, which I haven’t seen mentioned anywhere online but which I think is important to our health, is that the numbness we get after a meditation session is not quite healthy for your body.
Numbness and tingling generally means that the brain is not understanding exactly the signals the nerves of the legs are sending back. And this is because the peripheral nerves are “malfunctioning” after a prolonged sitting session. The reason the nerves are not behaving themselves is that because of your position, some of the blood vessels in your legs are constricted, and as a consequence, the peripheral nerves don’t get the required nutrition and oxygen from the blood vessels. After you come out of the position and start moving, the blood vessels dilate and start feeding the nerves and the numbness goes away. But it may be that repeated temporary harm to the nerves every day for a few months or years might do some more permanent damage to those nerves.
This is me drawing all these conclusions and if anyone has some info about this, it would be great. I’ve been having peripheral neuropathy for a year now with no known cause and so I am careful of not doing extra harm to my nerves by constricting my blood vessels unnecessarily. Do the hindus get numbness after their every meditation session or do they really use a good sitting position that is healthy?
@kaciula, What is peripheral neuropathy?
I’ve heard many times that it shouldn’t be a problem, but after what you wrote I am not so sure. I have been feeling the numbness for quite some time, and I find it hard to concentrate on my feet (bad signal strength it seems). They are also quite cold most of the time, which isn’t a good sign (I can heat almost everything of my body at will, except my feet, which I am working on).
The numbness is only 10% of what it was due lots of yoga.
@martijn, Peripheral neuropathy means that there is a problem with the peripheral nerves (low conductivity or low speed of signals or something else) and as a consequence, you feel tingling/numbness all the time 24/7, meaning the nerves are not functioning at their full potential. I’ve had it for 1 year now and it appeared suddenly. I don’t know the cause of my constant numbness but I do notice that it’s worse if I meditate in any position that is conducive to constricting my blood vessels.
I’ve always had cold feet and hands and it seems that I have poor blood circulation at the extremities, which, again, means that the nerves are not fed quite optimally. Yoga or any activity that makes the blood flowing and dilates the blood vessels is good medicine.
Another thing that can help is getting a pre meditation ritual. It will help get you mentally prepared to mediate. I use to do a finger excersice where i would touch each of my fingers on my right hand to my thumb starting with my point to pinky and then go pinky to point a few times(13 times my lucky number). And after doing this a few times before meditation, when i would start my ritual my body would automatic start relaxing on its own, my breathing would already be in sync.
Does anyone else have a ritual?