Mystery Poem. Please help me!

 Lauren (@laurenlouise) 6 years, 1 month ago

So about two years ago I read this poem in my english book for my first english class in college. It hit home for me, but ever since, I cannot find it! So I will describe it and I am praying someone on here has read it and knows the title.

First, it is written by a female and the theme is all of the men she has slept with who have treated her badly. It is written, if I recall correctly, in a more paragraph style, telling small stories and then commenting on them in a more poetic form. It is decently long and fantastically dark and cynical. I have been thinking about this poem a lot lately, but not knowing the title or the author, or being able to find an online copy of that edition of the book, the search has reached it’s end.

If you find me this poem, I will;
~give you a lifetime supply of hugs
~give you a big orange cat
~let you play my ukulele
~make you cookies (or anything else sweet)
~send you love letters, one for each day of the year (yepp, just like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook)
~make you horrible interpretations of DIY (do it yourself) projects from Pinterest
~make a discussion on HE about just how awesome you are, and I will update it daily


April 10, 2012 at 7:54 pm
Jyrenne E. (4) (@usernamher) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

Perhaps you could remember some words of the poem?

Btw, your list of rewards are 0_0.

Tyler Jones (4) (@tbone) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

Ah this sounds so lucrative.

Lauren (85) (@laurenlouise) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@usernamher, I can’t remember any =(

But the poem was pretty intense. I think she describes how the way one of the guy’s semen tastes. It’s very sexual and very sad.

Tyler Jones (4) (@tbone) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

I was going to suggest Les Grands Seigneurs, but it def doesnt talk about semen. Just Hurdey Gurdey Monkey Men. It seems like google cannot win this for me..

I Want The Big Orange Cat!!

Anonymous (30) (@) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

I so wish I knew this poem..your list of poem-finding-rewards is awesome.

The only small lead that comes to mind is Michelle Tea. She is a modern (1990’s) poet hailing to the Bukowski tradition. She is known now more for her novels, but her early works include books of poems that are very graphic/detailing sexual relationships with men and women, some good, some bad, some horrific. Good luck hunting down that poem! Don’t give up.

AtheismGod (1,762) (@zonetti) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

I hope you find it.. I’m curious now :O

Mike Wuest (509) (@mikeyw829) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@pipthecynical, haha that’s the way to do it!

Anonymous (2,833) (@) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@laurenlouise, someone posted this in the poems section… I saw this on this site.

but what the fuck. It ain’t a poem if you’re talking about the taste of semen. Sweet jesus thats just soft-core erotica.

Lauren (85) (@laurenlouise) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@phil W., It’s in the Bedford Handbook, The Introduction to Literature. I believe it was under the contemporary poetry section.

@ijesuschrist, I swear its poetry! Haha. She is very graphic when describing her sexual encounters. But it is to make them seem disgusting, which is how she thinks of them.

Lauren (85) (@laurenlouise) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

This is almost it! We used the 8th edition.

Anonymous (2,653) (@) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

Hum. I can’t help here. Thumbs up for the awesome ukulele!

Jyrenne E. (4) (@usernamher) 6 years, 1 month ago ago|00020|&ns=0

Lauren, these are the authors of the 8th edition, i tried searching on each and one of them because i am also curious on the poem itself! couldn’t find it. i have some suspected authors there but i don’t think the poem itself is on the internet..:P :)

TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@lauren, at first I thought the reward at the top of your list was “If you find me this poem, I will; ~give you a lifetime supply of drugs”

After which I immediately turned up every rock and stone on the internet in search of this poem.

Just kidding, hugs are cool too. Hope you find that poem!

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