ok me and this other guy (i think he’s my friend, not sure since he likes to humiliate me) decided to play fight (which he initiated) and I could tell that i lost, now I’ve had self defense training for 2 years and this one play fight has been significantly been bothering me because it shows that I’m incapable of defending or fighting back. Now i really didn’t want to hurt this guy (because I would get in trouble with the nearby security) but that one play fight just bothers me constantly even though i know that this shouldn’t affect me. I just can’t help thinking that I’m incapable of doing something that i have been practicing for over 2 years.
Do you guys ever get that feel?
@wesker53r86, I do think about how there might come a time that I will have to defend myself and might not have the ability to. I do not, however, think that it has anything to do with my ego.
The play fight thing is something that might tick me off in the moment, but I would quickly realize that it’s petty and that if I really wanted to train to become a better defensive fighter, I would need a fuel more pure than my wounded ego.
This is what I would say to you: learn to become more defensive, but do it because you want it for you, and for those you care for. Don’t get the training just because you want to show off to this guy a few months later
@wesker53r86, yeah, and self-defense is a very important thing to have. The only thing is that you don’t really know when to expect that kind of thing. I’d say you just ought to start trying to get some training under your belt as soon as you can.
My whole other spiel was just about having that defense for the wrong reasons.
I agree with @lytning91, make sure you have the defense for the right reasons. Most people in street fights don’t even really know how to throw a proper punch. Most people are right hand dominate in fights and will just try to come at you and throw the most powerful right hand ever so mainly just look for that. Also if you learn some simple jiu jitsu techniques, you’ll be able to wrestle with and beat a lot people in play fights or real fights. Watch somebody with no jiu jitsu or ground fighting experience wrestle with somebody who has some experience, you’ll understand what I mean.
@wesker53r86, I understand what you mean.
But I assume you guys didn’t use any protective gear while “fighting”. And you have experience in defending yourself. Knowing the other guy is no real thread. Made you focus on not hurting the other guy. And focus less on the fight at that moment. This might be the reason you lost. It’s common for people that have some experience in play fighting to loose from people that don’t do it often, because the new guy is more agressive.
Kenpo Karate rule number one “don’t be there” and it is so true, but you want real advice about self defense, it isn’t based on rules, play fighting is, play fighting you hold back, real fighting you don’t. I have been in Kenpo Karate for over a year, just made brown belt, and I do Wing Chun Do, im a gold belt, been in it for five months now, I am passionate about martial arts and the truth about self defense is you will do things that are violent to your opponent. eye strikes, throat strike, grown shots, ear shots, and so on. also if you don’t want to play fight with this person, you can let it be known or learn their opening and make a memory-strike, one they wont forget for a while. People don’t like to play with others that hurt them, or are much better. thank you!
when you say play fighting I envision a lot of slapping and giggling. Are we talking sparring or rolling, two buddies just messing around, or what’s the situation? I’m trying to gauge a level of intensity here. But like others have said, if it is actually a fear of an inability to defend yourself in certain situations that was brought on by this instance then you can use it, use that to motivate you to get better, to train harder. But if it’s just an ego bruise that is motivating you to come back and whoop this guy later then I think you’re missing the point of most martial arts. But if the martial arts aren’t what interests you, and you’re strictly looking for self defense, then maybe Krav Maga would be more up your alley.
@smalls is right, what was the story with this “play” fight? Was it just mucking around with a mate or was it more serious then that (you sound like it may have been more serious). If it was definitely just play then don’t worry about it. I have 5 years of Shaolin Kung Fu training under my belt and I would never use any of my serious techniques in a play fight against mates as they are designed to hurt and/or kill people. Also in a play fight you can’t even defend at full pace (let alone attack) because your hard blocking might hurt your untrained friend. Combine this with the fact that an untrained person will come at you harder because they don’t have any of these things circulating in their head and you have a very good reason as to why you felt like you lost the play fight.
But just train harder anyway!