assume I was raised by wolves for the following conversation.
what do you think of losing control and disrespecting someone who has from the beginning disrespected you?
how do you handle someone who disrespects you,and this person you can’t simply avoid in your life.
Fighting fire with fire causes the flame to grow uncontrollably. Fight fire with water instead and diminish the flame. Easy to say though, harder to do. In what way is the person disrespecting you?
@hhhkelly, Forgive yourself, then forgive her and begin to accept that that is just who she is and you can’t change that. You can only begin to her accept her, love her the way she is and learn to live with that.
Loving everyone just the way they are is one of the funnest things in life.
@cloudstuck, OKAY HOW DOES ONE SIMPLY LOVE SOMEONE WHO (oops no caps to lazy to retype) is rude, condescending, judgmental, & fake. I for some reasons find this EXTREMELY HARD when I am exact opposite of all adjectives listed & I suppose you @apacheco10, are correct in the fact I should have not let her win over my emotions. I dont know if this is an excuse but : I just had a baby, literally, with her son, 2 weeks old she was, and his mom was treating me this way. emotions run high during/after pregnancy.
@hhhkelly, well maybe don’t necessarily “love” her (it is possible but lets stay away from that word for now), but possibly use her to learn about yourself and life. whatever gets you angry, whatever frustrates you most about her is within you. examine it. look into yourself and how you react to this person. it will show you a great deal about yourself, and will also help you raise your newborn child (congratulations by the way) into becoming a very well-nurtured human being.
Why is being respected by others so important? You live in your head every waking moment, work on self-respect, forge a relationship with yourself, nothing unconditional because as such you will have no motivation to impress yourself. Don’t behave with malicious intent in any situation, but do not accept ignorance either, and you find growing comfort in yourself, then grows esteem and confidence in your decisions and assessments.
This is sometimes difficult to understand, since we too often only see behaviour and calculate the motivations behind it as malicious rather than uncontrolled. But; when people act in condescending, rude, degrading or emotionally charged (being the key here) it is because of there inability to tolerate and therefore regulate their own emotions.
So when your exposed to people acting like in the aforementioned ways, try to imagine how they feel and the inner psychological state which has motivated their behaviour. This of course is speculative, however with the aid of acute empathetic awareness it is quite easy to understand how others are feeling.
Humans only take offence from degrading behaviours because of our innate need to belong and be accepted. Which is why it is natural to exhibit an emotional response to emotionally charged actions. However if we take the time to step back before we become emotionally involved you’ll realise that the bitter behaviour is just a reflection of their inner turmoil. It is a lot easier to respond in a reserved compassionate manor when evaluating others behaviour in this sense.
I have just read your comment stating you have just had a baby. Congratulations :)
I have just finished reading the book; Why love Matters By Sue Gerdhart.
It will actually answer all your questions relative to this post and give you a profound insight on how to raise a child in the most emotionally attuned conditions.
PLEASE buy this book. Its changed my life and I think it could change yours :)
“what do you think of losing control and disrespecting someone who has from the beginning disrespected you?”
-Not much. Not much at all.
“how do you handle someone who disrespects you,and this person you can’t simply avoid in your life.”
-OF COURSE YOU CAN AVOID THEM. Don’t be silly, you can always avoid them.
But let’s say for some reason I’m very attached to some path I’m taking and don’t want to drop it just because some dumbass is in the way.
What do I do?
I MAKE SURE TO GET THEIR RESPECT.
Although, I really don’t give a shit if people respect me. I’m not concerned one bit with other people’s petty opinions.
If they want to be shitheads then let them, but don’t let it get to you.
And see if they can take it.
“Fighting fire with fire causes the flame to grow uncontrollably. Fight fire with water instead and diminish the flame.”
I usually make a joke about myself or about the person who disrespects me. For me it’s usually funny that I can’t get offended and for them it’s usually offensive because it isn’t funny.
@manimal, @jamescarson, @trek79, @cloudstuck, I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my what seemed to be at the time dilemma. what the situation is now is I do avoid her, I find her very distasteful, and don’t plan on inviting her over for dinner anytime in the near future. I do however still find her annoying and trying to control our lives. she buys stuff for my SO and daughter that we agreed to keep out of our life. ie. junk food, childrens medicine. I believe whole heartedly that there is no need for advil, tylenol ect. I have always assessed my body & used natural means to help it. She has no idea about her son (makes me sad) or the life we live/have planned.
Since this post I have realized its a far bigger problem than how she treated me. I should maintained control, I clearly have little tolerance for fake, dramatic, ect ect bitches. I did also learn before I even posted this that the reason we collided is because I in my recent past (a year or 2) was dramatic, somewhat manipulative. So I will take the emotional pain (which I should have no accepted from her to begin with) and turn it into a reminder that I am not perfect and could easily be like her again if I fail to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
with all said thanks again :) I love you HEthens.
@hhhkelly, I just want to tell you, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. People say “turn the other cheek” and tolerance and discipline, some hippy speak, but I think all that is just a dressed up description for apathy. I dispise apathy, regardless of what you call it, yes I believe in self control but I do not believe in laying down and taking shit off people either. I have a tendancy to go well beyond nessecity in expressing my points and if they do not understand my points then at least they think I’m crazy and give me a wide berth.
First one to take the high road wins; disdain is powerful