Stress

 Rehum P (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago

In my school there are people with high grades and there are people with average grades. What disturbs me is that those with high grades are on the brink of self destruction, every minor test or quiz that they think they’ve “failed” has meant the end of the world for them when in reality, it’s like an A-. A lot of people (especially parents) believe that high grades and a good background will equal a guaranteed success in life but in reality, everything is uncertain. I’ve given up on trying to reach for that A+ because I know that with high grades, comes high expectations and the higher you go the harder your downfall. This entire school year I have never felt the need to be ever stressed, even though I’m taking something as rigorous as the IB programme, I have never felt the need to study something extensively knowing that you don’t need flying colors to pass. I believe that the only things worth excelling in are the things that you enjoy now rather than excelling to save up for something you MIGHT enjoy

Thoughts? :)

April 22, 2012 at 6:47 am
Ray Butler (1,422)M (@trek79) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

I was, maybe still am, highly intelligent and capable in school, a higher potential than most. The best in my year in a couple of subjects, up there in the rest, but those greater than me in certain subjects fell far shorter in other subjects (yay, having a brag). But I dropped out and I became nothing of note. This is because of the stress you speak of, some people have a higher tolerance for the pressure and may actually reach that potential, most will not.
But this is a systemic problem, a values issue. Potential is not reached by pressure and control, but by free and self determination with perhaps the self imposed discipline, but it should be a personal choice not and obligation or an insistence.

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Clementine (12) (@clementine) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@ray Butler, I’m surprised to find out of your dropping out from school. Given some of the responses of yours I’ve read around the site I wouldn’t have expected that. Stress can be intolerable, college has taught me this. However, over time I think we develop new and better ways of dealing with it (maybe why the middle aged mother’s in my college courses are usually some of the brightest and well-organized students in the class.) So if it is something you desire, go after what you think may cause stress because your knowledge and insight would be a horrible thing to waste. (I feel like I’m making assumptions about your life in a way so please excuse that, I apologize.)

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Ray Butler (1,422)M (@trek79) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@clementine, No, that’s fine, I really have been hearing that from family and friends my whole life, well, ever since I dropped out. But my learning style is not appropriate for the ordered school system techniques. You have claases and you focus studies on that particular topic in a regimented way. My style, the only reason I do stand out, is a free form, I persue what I want when I want it, when it interests me. It has to be this free form or I have no passion for what I am learning, and school order destroys this technique, no way around it.

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TheGiantSquid (1,100) (@thegiantsquid) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@wesker53r86, I don’t know why you would want anything lower than high expectations.

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Rehum P (15) (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@thegiantsquid, like i said in my post, The higher your expectations, the harder you fall when you make a mistake. what i mean by it is that the emotional stress that you will experience will be greater than it would be when a failing student fails. but a failing student who gets a high grade experiences a much greater sense of achievement than those who already have a high grade.
@clementine, it’s true that people can adapt to situations which is why i have survived school at this point… and also, if you do a job that you enjoy, you never have to work a day in your life. The healthiest way of learning is if you actively realize and hone your skills for the sake of interest, not for the sake of someone else’s opinion. If this wasn’t true then everyone would have an A+ in school

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Clementine (12) (@clementine) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@ray Butler, I agree with you completely. And in your case (as it also is with my brother) school is not for everyone. However, school is really only one option in ways of continuing to grow. As long as you are happy with your life then that is all that matters.

@wesker53r86, I wasn’t arguing that everyone should go to school or college. I was simply saying if there’s something a person desires to do (whether it is school, training of some sort, career path, ect.) they should even if the stress seems like it will hold them back because it is a waste if a great mind isn’t pushed to it’s limits.

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Ray Butler (1,422)M (@trek79) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@clementine, I describe my life as a niche, or plateau of contentment. I disolve in the condition of rollercoaster lifestyle, something most people have embraced as living life to the fullest. I have my passion, writing: both in little discussions like this on theory, opinion and realized or perceived facts, but also my passion is in writing fiction. I remember when I was in high school, I was aking numerous teachers what I should be. The general consensus by them was “TEACHER” and I had a passion for science and history(pretty damn good at them too), I was outstanding in math and geography. I finally went to my English teacher and asked her she said I should become a writer. English, I believed, was my most ordinary subject and I didn’t really have much passion for it. I told her that but she said that I have one of the most outstanding imaginations she had ever seen, she was certain.
Well it took me over 16 years to be certain also, but I got there in the end :)

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TheGiantSquid (1,100) (@thegiantsquid) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@wesker53r86,I got what you where saying in your post, but I do not think that you should lower your expectations just so you will not fall as far. As one of my favorite books “Dune” says “Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” If stress has really got you under, use should just find better ways to release stress.

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TheGiantSquid (1,100) (@thegiantsquid) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@ray Butler, what kind of fiction do you write?

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Rehum P (15) (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@thegiantsquid, I see what you mean, but the reason why i lowered my expectations was not out of fear but it was in order to avoid accumulating an unnecessary amount of stress in subjects i require but don’t admire. Besides the college i plan to go to does not even require the IB programme but why did i do it? because i do it for the fun of it. To follow up on that, people nowadays have stopped doing things just for the fun of it or the unexpected self satisfaction it might yield. Nowadays i think that most people are too busy trying to impress others or worrying about their future (I might make a thread about it later)

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Ray Butler (1,422)M (@trek79) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@thegiantsquid, My first story, I began a few months ago, progress is slow, but it is based on history, if you consider Jesus real, but it is a ficticious take on a conspiracy theory I have. I am not religious and don’t expect anything from the story. I believe people will either not like it because of them not being religious and it has religious themes, or they will not like it because they are religious. But this story has been on my mind for most of my life, I finally decided to write it so I can forget it and move on. So it is motivated by personal reasons not any public submission.
I also have an idea for a action/horror with typical supernatural themes of vamps, werewolves, zombies and demons.
I also intend to write a non-cannon Star-trek story I have been working on for a couple of years here and there.
I have ideas for a historical epic, the pre-history of humanity, including ideas on Atlantis and the building of pyramids and stuff like that (sorry, no aliens).
I never really took my writing seriously until a few months ago, like an epifany or whatever, now I am commited to it.

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Mike Wuest (509) (@mikeyw829) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@ray Butler, sounds like you found your passion.

@wesker53r86, Yeah I’m the type of person who gets overwhelmed really easily. I get over stimulated if I’m at a party or something too long, or have a bunch of work to do. Then I just shut down. And I’ve come to the realization that it’s because I’ve been doing stuff to fulfill societal expectations or have been doing what’s been planned out for me to do. I haven’t been doing what I want to do, but I never really noticed it until recently.

It’s overwhelming when you have no real passion for what you’re doing and you just do it to get it over with. I had to take my last semester off of school, and I just switched majors to something I’m more interested in. I probably would quit college if I knew anything else to do though. So I guess my only options are to quit or find a way to like it, which I’m starting to do. Being anxious is pointless.

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Mike Wuest (509) (@mikeyw829) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

Being anxious is pointless after a certain amount of time. It does have it’s benefits to a certain point. Wouldn’t be on the path I am without anxiety.

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Rehum P (15) (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@mikey W, having a passion for something takes a bit of exploring, I wouldn’t have known that i liked to fight if i never attended a single Krav Maga class and i wouldn’t have known i liked doing tricks with a butterfly knife if i never tried. Sometimes you gotta step out of your comfort zone and do something worth being proud of. Don’t do it because others say it’s cool or better, do something for yourself. You’ll come to realize that you’re capable of doing almost anything if you don’t have anyone’s expectations to live up to

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Mike Wuest (509) (@mikeyw829) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@wesker53r86, yep.

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TheGiantSquid (1,100) (@thegiantsquid) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@ray Butler, I went to Catholic School through grade school and high school, but I would definitely check out your Religious conspiracy story out of curiosity. Well I wish you good luck with your writing, and thank goodness you are leaving the aliens away from Atlantis and the Pyramids…I caught up with a friend of mine a few weeks ago and he had just gotten into the whole aliens conspiracy and he would not stop talking about how they really built the pyramids. It was driving me crazy so please in your pre-historic epic leave the aliens on their own planet.

@wesker53r86, Well im glad you have a plan, good luck with your studies.

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Cierra Eubank (0) (@ceubank) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

ehhhhhh i’m not so sure about not giving your best… i know that public education and the grading system are SHIT, but if you don’t care about your education, then nobody will. I agree that tests and grades are bullshit. A test doesn’t show how much you’ve learned, understood, or explored. All it tells you is how well you can recall a bunch of random words and answers in a short amount of time. So, at this point after my first year of college, i’m kind of with you as far as not caring so much about my grade point average. I used to be one of those kids in high school who dedicated their lives to getting A’s, but why was i doing it? It wasn’t because i was just trying to learn, it was because that’s what i’ve been told to do. From the moment we’re born we are told to go to school and get good grades so that we can go to college to get a good job and make a lot of money to buy a lot of things. Well, fuck that :) but that’s not to say i don’t try or don’t care. I believe that to a certain point, grades still do reflect your interest, dedication, and effort. You just have to decide what kind of life you want for yourself and what you need to learn to get there! THEN that’s when you give it all you got for those straight As ;)

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Rehum P (15) (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@Cierra Eubank, you make a pretty good point :) but in my case, I’m doing it for many reasons. It’s not that i don’t care about my grades entirely (i would’ve gotten F’s instead) it’s that it’s a constant reminder that even without too much effort, I can still get away with a passing grade.

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Sounds like you are trying to make up an excuse to be lazy. Just work hard. Nothing bad ever came from good grades.

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Rehum P (15) (@wesker53r86) 6 years, 1 month ago ago

@General Tits Von Chodehoffen, one does not simply ‘work hard’

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