I was wondering about human relationships and their purposes and this 2 questions came to my mind:
What makes us miss someone?
Is there some kind of relation between the feeling of missing someone and what that someone still has to teach us?
Just the other day, I started missing an old friend, we didn’t talk in years. I wasn’t sure if I would have a response, so I was insecure in doing so, but I did it anyway and I asked her help about something, and turned out that she told me exactly what I needed to hear to get back on tracks.
Right now I still don’t have an opinion about this, but I would like to hear yours.
Firstly, Its the emotions that remind us of someone. Like @tylerponte suggested we miss someone when we feel the same emotion as we felt by being with that person or at least the thought of it.
Secondly, the solution of a problem or whatever you want to learn is already inside your mind you just need to association it with someone or something to make that abstract thought a solution.
And yeah I believe that you only hear what you want to listen. The meaning of someones words are given by their emotions and no matter how hard we try we can’t feel those emotions we can only assume it through empathy. So it solely depends on you what meaning you derive from it even if it is done subconsciously. So yeah you might miss someone and believe that they would have the solution to your problem but actually you are just looking for someone to give credit for that solution that already exist.
Pheww… Tough question. For me, the reason why we miss a person, in my opinion, is that we love them. Loving a person means you care for them, so you wanted to make sure they’re always alright and you can only do that if the person you’re missing is physically present.
We grow used to people and things, it’s like addiction but maybe not the negative version. Data from Star Trek said with every person he meets he writes an adaptive algorithm to cater for them, it develops over time to know them better, know their personality and habits. That way he can predict their opinions and behaviors, and when someone dies the algorithm is obsolete, he usually deletes it. But one person changed him, Tasha Yar, he kept her program, she stayed with him and lives as long as he does.
We don’t get to delete people, we can only adapt to them being missing from us.
I think missing someone is deeply related to love, and as love itself is mysterious, I guess the feeling of missing is mysterious too. From personal experience, I was once surprised and feeling strange that I was missing someone who I already broke up with. I told myself the, how could i miss someone whom I don’t like to be with anymore or talk to. Then I realized that the answer resides in one word “Love”. It just makes everything unexplained.
I have been widowed for nearly 6 years. He was my soul mate and my person. We were together for about 26 years. Married for 23. I watched him fade away in front of me. After diagnosis he suffered for 20 months before his body succumbed to his cancer. I was so broken. It devastated me.
I have picked myself up. Have gotten on with my life. Keep myself busy. Have lots of friends and interests. I travel when I can. I am financially ok. But the lonliness is a killer.
At the beginning of this year I met someone! We hit off straight away! He pursued me. And after some gentle and skilful coaxing by him, I have fallen for him. Hook line and sinker! I feel like a teenager again.
He has now gone abroad for 6 months. He does not communicate very often. He said that he wouldn’t. The closest he came to admitting how he feels about me id that he said he doesn’t want to,miss me while wad away, and so he started pulling back. There was no change in our times together before he left. He has always been very affectionate together. It’s like electricity between us. And now he’s gone. He kept saying he would be back. Maybe even earlier. But he had stuff to do and I get that.
I cannot get him out of my mind. Ever! He is there day in and day out! We are in touch via Whatsapp and email.
We are both retired. I’m 58 and he is 67. Am I in love with him? What am I to do? There still 5 months to go!
“/You cannot grasp and hold onto love, for love is experienced in the moment. We miss the ones we love because we know they are a part of us. But how sweet does one’s return taste, when finally it has come. Love in the present, hope for the future./” ….
I find this very profound and spot on! Thanks for the insight. <3