This is a relatively light-hearted matter, but it has made me think.
I am not a competitive person (except in organized sports), nor very possessive. My girlfriend calls me too sensitive and a grouch because I don’t go along with people smack talking during small games or just in any “play” rivalry in general. I just don’t see the fun in putting tension between people over pointless matters.
Thoughts? Can anyone relate?
@mcr513, I can but it was for different reasons. Does this happen only around your girlfriend? Does she bring it out (I don’t mean does she do something, or maybe she does, but does her presence merely bring this out in you?) or are you always this way?
I can relate to not being able to relax completely around others. It’s stressful though I handle it by just acknowledging that I may never be completely comfortable, and those that desire to appear that way, have the most intense fears elsewhere. But for you, the answer will be within.
@staylucky, I wouldn’t say it’s anything out of the ordinary. I’m not competitive (avg. introvert), but her family loves “play” competition. I think it’s just a clash of personalities and different backgrounds.
I just find smack talking a strange human behavior, especially over menial matters. People just seem to get so worked up about it, and I’m just sitting there watching them and wondering why they get so personal.
I mean just as an example, sports fans fight all the time. Some baseball fan was even beat up into a coma a couple years ago. Humans….
@mcr513, I think sports banter is different to what you are describing though. It sounds like insecure people trying to seek approval and an ego boost by demeaning others all for the sake of “fun”.
The problem is that it is very subjective. My best friend and I say things to each other that make peoples jaws drop sometimes but we both know that we have a hall pass on absolutely anything in each others lives except for exes. That being said, when it comes to most people I will tune out if someone is trying to burn me or someone else. I just see it is a glaring weakness and a character flaw. These people would not do it if they didn’t get a response from the people they seek it from.
It’s like forums that have a like tally for users. Once those started showing up people went out of their way to have an opinion on anything they could keyboard warrior over in an attempt to boost their forum rep with Like stats.
Everyone has different limits, but I wouldn’t change just because they consider you a spoil-sport (or, prove a point by unleashing the most ruthless burn then act confused when everyone’s jaws drop haha).
@mcr513, Sounds like you are not that into sports. Sledging is a reflex action when you are passionate about a game.
But adversarial confrontations are actually needed these days, don’t confuse tolerance and apathy, people should stand up to ignorant behaviour, but with cold logic not hot-headedness or hurt.