why everytime i think about sth positive it happens opposite (negative)

Profile photo of Aalia Aalia (@Aalia) 4 years, 1 month ago

I am a girl that like to read psychology books and i always study different books of Famous psychologists , they say : if you think positive you will face positive things , i try it many times but it didn’t work. when i think positive about a subject it happens opposite means negative but when i think negative it happens positive. I want to know that my thoughts are wrong or psychologists are making fool. Hey guys please guide me i am getting confused what should i do ???

June 30, 2013 at 11:13 am
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Oscar Arguijo (0) (@Oscar-Arguijo) 3 months, 2 weeks ago ago

Life is 90% percent what happens, and 10% how you react to it. Remember, no matter what, we all believe in you! (:

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Hugmee (0) (@hugmee) 3 months ago ago

Well I wonder if you ask for more things in life too. Like do you if in a bad place, say broke, unemployed,drug/alcohol dependent out of love, ill,hurt,sad,depressed. Well Do you lean on any one of these every day of your life??? Although helpful lovingly simple living, you still cry ‘why me’ on a regular. That makes positive thinking any other time void of a visit to the ears of our universe. And vice versa. I seem to walk down the line of both in a calculated manner. I do this or I am this… I wake up every day to a whole new picture. I insist on love making , some cuddles and coffees, day is at our leisure with small tasks. Employment. Try to exercise  any thoughts by action or telling someone/write. I actually enjoy watching people win, or two AFL teams scoring gets a cheer,,If I hear a sad story my mind goes to what I Cld or wld Do I share or don’t share, either way my sincere thoughts are spent on most things with no discrimination to subject.  I’m just waking at the base of my spiritual steps to my planned place in the universe. Thanks for hearing me as I think I missed most of your plea. Sorry pet! Hey oi? Hug away yah day lovey x

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vidi (0) (@vidi) 1 month, 1 week ago ago

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Vasco (223)C (@vasco) 5 days, 3 hours ago ago

Hey @aalia, I realize this is an old post, but I hope my answer can still help you or others. It seems to me that you might be falling into a trap of Positive Psychology, uncovered by another psychologist, Gabriele Oettingen. In her controversial early research, she discovered that often, the people who engaged only in positive thinking and vividly imagined their goals as accomplished did experienced worse results than would be expected from the assumption that positive thinking leads to positive outcomes.

Over many years, she found out why: imagining your outcomes vividly as already accomplished took energy away from you, making you less likely to take the actions necessary to accomplish your goals. If your brain thinks a goal is already achieved, why would it invest energy in achieving it?

Next, she dealt with how to counteract this effect. She noticed that people who imagined their goals and outcomes and then contemplated the obstacles they would face while trying to achieve them not only didn’t experience the same sapping of energy, they were actually more likely to succeed! But this was only part of the answer.

She then partnered up with her husband, and together they devised a simple procedure for helping you achieve your goals more easily, called WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). It involves (1) thinking of your wish, something that you care deeply about and believe you could accomplish, then (2) imagining the outcome vividly, either in writing or just in your mind, then (3) identifying an obstacle within you that might prevent you from achieving the goal (such as being lazy, or always snacking in between meals, etc.), and then (4) making an if-then plan for when you are tempted to act in the ‘bad’ way (for example, if my goal is to write an article and my obstacle is that, when I sit down to write, I worry that I have nothing good to say and go on Facebook instead, I could make the following plan: IF I sit down to write and start worrying that I have nothing good to say, THEN I will remind myself of all the times when my ideas were useful to other people, close all my other tabs, and begin jotting down possible topics for an article; of course this is a personal example, and you could apply this process to infinite different goals).

Their research has shown that this simple procedure helps you (1) achieve goals you believe are possible more easily (both in conscious and unconscious ways, which, for me, is super cool), and (2) let go of goals you believe are not possible for you, thereby conserving mental energy for those that actually are possible.

I highly encourage you to read more about this, for example on the website dedicated to this idea (http://woopmylife.org/) or (and this would be best) by picking up her book Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation (https://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Positive-Thinking-Science-Motivation/dp/1617230235; or PM me if you’d like me to send you the ePub).

Good luck with your challenges!

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nagesh (1) (@nagesh126) 3 months, 3 weeks ago ago

What’s ur blood group

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nagesh (1) (@nagesh126) 3 months, 2 weeks ago ago

What’s ur blood group 

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