There are a lot of things that we say yes to in life that we..
1) Know inside that we SHOULD not do OR 2) Know we do NOT want to do.
These are two very distinct problems and I want to address both right now as bluntly as possible.
Solution 1: Stay Focused
I think focus is the most important component of success. Flat out. If you have a goal and you stay focused on doing the things necessary to achieve that goal, you will succeed. It’s that simple.
Unfortunately we’re all social animals and other people just love to (unintentionally) get in the way our goals. Even something as small as someone inviting you to a small get together can be a big distraction. Instead of attending, maybe you could checked off a few more to-do list items. Maybe you end up drinking too much and the next day is spoiled by a rotten headache.
If you’re considering saying yes or no to something and you hear that little voice saying “ehhh, I really don’t think this is wise,” here is a handy hint: DO NOT DO IT. I ignored this voice for years and years and regret always followed. “Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have ______” was a very common thought of mine until I learned to listen to that voice.
Listen to it. Avoid regret. You won’t ..uh.. regret it :p
Solution 2: Stop Being A Wuss!
You can probably come up with a 100 reasons in your head as to why you’re saying yes to something you don’t want to do. Here’s a few of the more convincing rationalizations:
– You can’t say no to family!
– It’s the “right” thing to do
– He/She would do the same for me
– If I do it now, I won’t ever have to do it again
– He/She asked me in person, how could I say no?
To be frank, those are reasons are all weak. You are a grown-up human being and you make your own decisions. WHY would you ever do something that you do not want to do? Morality, obligation, social normality… none of these things should force you to go against your own wants.
If you’re thinking that this resolution is selfish/heartless/lazy, consider this: You’re doing ______ to make someone else happy. If there is one thing that you should take away from this site, it’s that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Likewise you are not responsible for the happiness of others.
Don’t feel bad, you’re just more rational than most people. They will understand! Plus if they don’t, they’re probably not a positive force in your life anyways. That is a great lead in to Cutting Out the Crap: Part 2…