My Cup Runneth Over
There is a tall, dark and handsome man, becoming acquainted with my desires. Who looks me deep in my soul when I share with him, who holds me, who reads me, who surprises me with consideration.
My list of true, loving and inspiring friends grows longer and longer. I have opened myself to the love of a global family, a spiritual tribe of visionary dream chasers and evolutionary world changers, and they have become my Soul Kin.
My relationships with my blood family are strong yet flexible. Our love for one another knows no bounds and we express our appreciation, serving one another genuinely and with care.
I have rid myself of the influences that have depleted me, distorted, and distressed me in the past. My environment, all of my relationships, and each detail of my projects are blessed.
I have mentors, teachers and gurus who are some of my closest friends and confidants. I am continually invited to “level up,” and always with incredible, generous and intuitive support. I am given opportunities to explore my being, expand my consciousness and express my creativity every day. My days are fuelled with passion, gratitude and absolute awe.
I need for nothing, I want for nothing and I am blessed often. I love all of my diverse “work” and am honored to have the opportunity to live this life.
But, it wasn’t always like this…
Same Person, Entirely Different Life
I went to a party years ago, angry at my then boyfriend and looking to get drunk. The last thing I remember after getting sick and lying down is a man climbing on top of me, naked — he was still there, fucking me, when I finally woke up from my black out.
As a child, I would lie to my friends, telling them I was grounded when they invited me to play. As an adult, there have been periods of extreme anxiety leading to agoraphobia for weeks and even months at a time.
I am estranged from my father, and despite what he tried to groom me to believe through
psychological and emotional abuse, my life has gotten better and better since removing his toxicity from it. I still cry over it all.
I was married once, young, to the man who helped me escape my daddy’s manipulative
clutches. It only cost my my virginity and naivety, even though the career criminal casanova made a pretty good play for my soul too.
I have been a vile person. I have justified manipulating, lying, cheating, stealing and hatred before; for the sake of not caring about my own pain and the hurt others caused me, I have both ignorantly and willfully inflicted pain on others.
I have felt trapped, desperate, terrified and worthless. I have wanted to die, several times — I even tried once, as a 10 year old child.
I have gone from living in hell after hell of my own creation, to basking in the radiance of an ever-evolving heaven of my own manifestation… And I want to teach every last one of you how.
Becoming Reacquainted With Magick
The change didn’t merely happen, it was all very intentional. I have tapped into something organic and primal, it feels as natural as breathing and is more compelling than desire. I call this enchanting force magick, but you may know it by another name.
Energy, source, life-force, god, faith, divinity, the infinite — the undefinable yet gracefully dependable animation of life — is not something we humans are entirely irresponsible for. Now, I know this may be unpopular because humans are always trying to give away their responsibility (to friends, to family, to their religion, government or other institutions of manufactured authority), but it is absolutely essential that you take responsibility.
Taking responsibility is exactly how you obtain power. I know this because I have been the victim, stuck in the victim consciousness and looking for the next attack, trauma or misfortune, but also because I myself have also turned things around, committed myself to authenticity and began the true hero’s journey of reclaiming my own life.
Do not misunderstand me, this is not easy. It has been and continues to be the most
challenging, painful and disruptive process of my life — but I wouldn’t trade one second of it. This process of transformation has been so invaluable to me, I have to share some of the key steps I have found in reclaiming authenticity, reestablishing personal authority and reassuming my full power.
But first, let’s demystify this whole Magick business even more.
Magick Is Everywhere, All the Time, But We’ve Forgotten How To See It
You’re driving down the road, your best friend in the passenger seat, both jamming away as the radio plays. The windows are down, it’s a warm summer day and you two have nowhere to be. You just finished a conversation about new cars you like. Your friend is into Jeep 4x4s but you would much prefer the feel of classic Cadillac coup.
As you drive on, you begin to notice Cadillacs. There’s a nice red one driving in the opposite direction, and there’s one in a parking lot, then a unique cream colored one just passed you on the right while you waited to turn left at a traffic light.
You ask your friend if they saw it, “What Cadillac? But wow, did you see that new silver
What just happened?
You and your friend are going down the same road in the same car, obviously at the same rate and at the same time, so how could their experience be filled with Jeeps while yours was filled with Cadillacs?
MAGICK — also known as Quantum Entanglement in this instance.
Quantum physics and Metaphysics are two sides of the same coin, whereas the former explores reality from a scientific perspective, the latter does so from a spiritual or esoteric one. Both fields of study seek to answer the same questions, they just use different tools.
One mass-adaptation of these theories in popular culture that you may already be aware of is “The Secret” or the Law of Attraction. These are all just different labels we’ve used in attempt to explain the same phenomenon: a human’s innate ability to influence their reality through their thoughts, aka MAGICK.
You see what I’m starting to get at here? Magick isn’t simply smoke and mirrors or slide of hand (for reference, that’s magic with no ‘k’), at its deepest, most fundamental and powerful core.
Magick is merely intention.
How To Become A Master Of Your Own Intentions And Wield Your Magick
Now that I’ve got your attention, I’d like to start with the very basics:
- Radical Honesty
- Insatiable Curiosity
- Unwavering Determination
- Enduring Courage
- Generous Compassion
#1 — Radical Honesty
Authenticity is by far the absolute most important and fundamental part of Magick. In fact, its dependence on your intention can make your Magick down right dangerous if you are being untruthful, especially with yourself.
Since becoming reacquainted with my own Magick, I can look back on my life and see time and time again where my Magick was actively producing undesirable manifestations in my life because I had no idea what I really wanted.
One example of this is my failed marriage: toward the end, I wanted out (for good reason) but was denying that truth, wrapped up in the delusions of what I had thought I might want or should want – so what manifested? I made myself 100% undesirable to my ex-husband through infidelity.
Crazy right? Imagine how crazy it felt being that woman and not even understanding why I kept seeking out unfaithful behaviors. I grew to hate myself and created a very painful separation and divorce, all because I didn’t know how to just tell myself the truth about what I wanted.
Save yourself the heartache and confusion: ask yourself the hard questions. Get disturbingly, unapologetically real with yourself, to the point of being raw — this will single handedly put your power back in your hands. Make the commitment, never go back.
#2 — Insatiable Curiosity
Now that you’re committed to taking responsibility, being authentic and mastering your power, it’s time for some exploration. Get curious!
Get curious about yourself. Are there parts of you that you had been suppressing, ignoring or punishing? Why? Where do your wants come from? Are they truly yours or were you told to want them? How about your needs? What are your perceived limitations and what are your actual limitations? Where has your Magick already been showing up in your life, for better or for worse, and why?
Start asking questions and don’t stop. Research things that you find fascinating, begin to fill your reality with the knowledge and impressions of your truest essence and passions.
This is Magick. Your curiosity is intention in action. Use it to amplify the things you want in your life as well as weed out the things that are inauthentic to you, and never stop.
The more you allow your curiosity to guide you, the more you can educate your bias and
expand your exposure, the more tools of intent you will have and the more powerful you will become. We do not manifest by changing the world around us to our desires, we manifest by changing ourselves in order to organically attract the reality we desire.
#3 — Unwavering Determination
Now, awakening to your authentic self and magnetizing power through your curiosity will be extremely invigorating, but it may also come with a lot of painful realizations about how you have neglected or even misused your power in the past. You must remain committed in spite of it all.
No matter how much is revealed, remain grateful. Gratitude will help you to overcome any
obstacle of disillusionment or regret.
It will be important to remain grateful in the face of your demons. You will want to look at the trauma and pain of your past and cradle it, because it is all you can do to remain there with it.
Remain. Persevere. Confront all of the lies and fears that have held you back. Claim your
strength and power in the face of your deepest and darkest – you can do it, and it is all
Reclaiming your power will require confrontation. You must confront all of the things, every limiting belief and story that holds you back from taking responsibility for your intentions and manifesting your best life.
Endeavor to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Being in possession of your power will
continually provide you with opportunities to go even deeper, push even further and confront even more – decide to maintain unwavering determination before you even begin.
#4 — Enduring Courage
Along the same lines of determination, you will need to possess the courage to confront your fears, face your demons, do shadow work, forgive abuse (especially abuse self-inflicted psychologically via inauthenticity), process trauma and release pain. You will have to be willing to feel and experience everything you have ever tried to avoid or run away from.
Taking your power back is quite literally that. There’s no way around it.
Figure out what scares you and confront it dead on. Feel deep resistance and turn straight into the discomfort and doubt. Decide that you will not be manipulated, groomed or used any longer, even by your own thoughts, beliefs and actions – and then get to the work of identifying what’s hanging you up, holding you back and keeping you small.
Fail. Fail again. Get so damn good at failing that it doesn’t bother you anymore at all because you know that every failure is proof that you tried, proof of your intention for personal reclamation and wholeness – making your power and Magick that much more potent.
Easy? Absolutely not! Worth it? More than I can ever hope to express.
#5 — Generous Compassion
It is absolutely vital that you forgive yourself. For everything. Forgive yourself for your inauthenticity. Forgive yourself for your excuses and justifications for playing small, having a victim mentality or even hurting others because of your pain.
Seek to make things right with others when possible, but first and foremost, make things right with yourself. Dare to have those hard conversations with yourself. Examine your behaviors and thoughts from different angles.
Are you feeling worthless and that is keeping you from performing your best and loving your hardest? Turn in, embrace this worthlessness and say “thank you.” Seek to understand how your undesirable behaviors, patterns and beliefs were attempting to serve you. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
You may have attempted to give away your responsibility and power, but I’m sure it wasn’t
because you are irresponsible and powerless. You are not an island, your life is complex and multifaceted, and your mistakes have just as many layers of meaning.
Get to know your flaws and mistakes in a whole new way, with patience and compassion, as if you were your own best friend or younger sibling. Would you look at someone you love who is trying their best to take more responsibility for their lives and take back their power, no matter their past mistakes, with anything less than compassion, love and even pride? Give yourself that same gift.
Recklessly, fearlessly and boldly love yourself, your true self, your imperfect yet authentic and Magicakally powerful self. This is key is you want to manifest beauty and blessings, without this component, your Magick may still be quite dangerous and you may still manifest unwanted realities.
You ARE Magick, so live like it
The steps I’ve listed above are the core essentials to reigniting the Magick within you as more than just spontaneous circumstantial happenings. This formula is the means of reestablishing your personal authority, remembering your truth and reemerging as a powerful manifestor.
By following these steps you will be refining your intuition, learning to trust yourself and know your own voice again, building a strong and solid foundation for the realities you wish to manifest. These skills, the ability to self analyze and redirect your focus with purpose, are all you will ever need in order to intentionally build the life of your most authentic dreams.
A Magickal life will always lead you to discover more about yourself, your expressions of
power and your preferred tools (if any) to magnify your intentions, but the basis will always be the same. Be true, be bold and be mindful.
Blessed be my beloveds.