Do you have some personality trait, quirk or habit that you would like to change but have yet to succeed? Well I know the easiest and fastest way to change anything about yourself. That sounds way too good to be true, but I guess you’ll have to keep reading if you want to know for sure.
Step 1: Decide what you want to change
Examples include confidence-level, speech impediments, ability to converse with the opposite sex and other sources of insecurity.
Step 2: Lie to yourself
I know this sounds stupid at first, but hear me out. You need to tell yourself that you are exactly what you currently are not.
If you are very shy, then tell yourself that you are considered by most to be “the life of the party” and that you love addressing entire groups of people. You are a magician with words and have a special knack for social interaction that others admire. Yadayadayada.. you get the idea.
Step 3: Imagine the change in yourself
Create a minute-long movie in your head of yourself after the change has been made. Get as detailed as possible and remember to also feel the emotions of that moment while you imagine it.
It’s almost like you’re planting a false memory in your head. So just as with any other memory, you should be able to be somewhat transported back to that moment when you think about it. Just ignore that voice in your head that says this never happened. Logic isn’t important in this exercise!
Step 4: Become a method actor
You need to emulate the person you want to be as if you already are him/her. Keep telling yourself that you ARE that person and continue to act like him/her as often as possible. Play the character at the grocery store, at work or with friends.
Body language, diction and actions should all reflect how that changed version of you would act. But remember, you are actually being the person, not just acting like him/her. In your head, your thoughts should read “I am confident!”, not “I’m acting confident!”
A really effective option is to choose a character from a movie, TV show or someone you know well that has the trait you wish to attain. This way you have a visual example of how you should be acting instead of having to make it up. My go-to characters are James Bond and Tyler Durdin from Fight Club.
Step 5: Believe
All of the previous exercises are meant to get you believing that you are already that changed version of yourself. Heck you already act like this person on the daily anyways, so what’s to stop you from believing you are him/her?
If you’re still not buying that you ARE the changed version already, go back and practice steps 2-4 more until you do. I guarantee that this will heed faster and more satisfying results than anything else you read about.
But remember, it’s like Peter Pan: you have to believe.