|Anonymous||# Posted on March 26, 2011 at 5:52 pm|
First of all it’s really wonderful that this type of discussion started. I really admire the bravery of all of you guys in sharing your insecurities and I’m inspired to share mine too.
Thanks mario for starting this one, and about the people over 30.. I’m not so sure. It may just be because there is a large amount of young people on HE. I also tend to get the feeling that people over a certain age feel so set in their insecurities that it’s too late to change them and therefore why share them to have people see them?
Now for my insecurities. Well, it’s mostly an interpersonal fear. This fear that I’m so inferior to people. Other people can DO things better, look better, think clearer.. I’ve always had this feeling that I’m like a child and everyone around me thinks so too.. this is often because I may cower from certain social situations and then I’m pestered with thoughts.. the thoughts are the worst. but about the child thing. I often say or do stupid things which make me look juvenile. It feels like other people are more mature, more in tune with their lives and their desires, and I take one person who is very well beyond me in all of my goals and to me it’s like EVERYONE’s like that and I’m not. So silly but I’m easily discouraged by this. I feel like I can’t DO at times. Then i look back on who i am and what i have and feel so disgustingly ungrateful for it when I’m pestered with these types of thoughts.
I’ve improved and it seems the first step is to not listen to the thoughts. Because you know what, we’re not our thoughts. We’re the beautiful, infinitely capable and wonderful beings behind those thoughts and emotions and physical experiences and we often get so wound up in our troubles to forget this. I’m not able to do this so often, to live life with this realization, but when I do it truly is so beautiful. When I fail to do this it gives me yet another reason to be hard on myself, but we have to resist using all this potential that we have on things like this.
All of you guys are so wonderful and this scratches the surface of my insecurities but I just wanted to share what I could at the moment and it feels good to realize that I’m certainly not the only one.