|L||# Posted on March 28, 2011 at 8:26 pm|
Perhaps my use of “vs.” in the discussion title is misleading. I don’t believe you have to choose one over the other. I am much more curious to know how you, as a brilliant, thoughtful person, balance the two (and how you balance them with other necessary relationship traits!).
Have you ever been in a relationship where you must work harder at attraction or at compatilibity than the other? Which is preferable to have more of at the beginning of a relationship? What about 6 months or 6 years in?
Is there a cycle (wild attraction that segues into comfortable compatibility), and can we teach ourselves to break it? How do you build compatibility with a partner you’re attracted to, or is it something the couple innately has or don’t have?
Do you value one more than the other (i.e., does attraction/mystery/interest/gravitational pull keep you interested in your partner when compatibility feels boring)?