|WPM||# Posted on June 29, 2014 at 6:56 pm|
I’m not sure if I have anything that can help, but let me try. I was raised believing in God, attending church, the whole shebang. Was a strong and (relatively speaking) outspoken Christian; I wouldn’t try to convert people, but I thought of myself as an intellectual and capable of debating and arguing the existence of God, etc.
Life started for me at 14. I was beginning to understand what suffering was, and realizing it not only around me, but within. I grew to become quite disenfranchised by my church and youth pastor, so I left. For a while, that disillusionment with religion pushed me towards atheism, but that only lead to quite severe depression. I then discovered Buddhism and went through a phase of that, like many young people do. But something was still missing for me.
As Krishnamurti said, “The moment you follow someone you cease to follow Truth.” There is no religion or philosophy or guru who can give you Truth; it is subjective. To me, God is love, God is union; not some bearded deity sitting in Heaven. Don’t buy into simple truths. They may comfort you, but they will not satisfy you.
You cannot look at your uncertainty as a weakness, it must be your greatest strength. If you want to place your faith in something, place it in yourself. Realize YOU are God, YOU are part of the whole, YOU are perfect, and YOU hold the power to changing your life situation.