Reply To: Medias affect on boys

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Ludwig # Posted on October 9, 2014 at 8:08 am

Summer this is a great question. I think the pressure of being manly is manifested most clearly in homophobism and the fear of discovering that you might be gay.

All my life as a child and teenager, in school the worst insult you could give someone was calling someone “gay”, often in combination with a four letter word. Thinking back now it is obvious that almost all boys shared this fear. Basically making up for their own uncertainty and fear of being gay, everyone just kept nurturing each others fear by using those kind of insults and making fun of the guys suspected to be gay.

I can safely say that almost as far as I can remember, my worst fear has been discovering that I too might be gay. Not even because of gay thoughts, just because it was the worst imaginable thing to be. Your entire school would despise you if you turned out to be gay. At least the school I went to.

I have an enormous amount of respect for everyone who is strong enough to come out, especially knowing that parents or other people likely won’t approve.

I guess that is the male equivalent to the pressure girls feel to look pretty. In almost all of my relationships, girls have had so much anxiety and fear of not living up the ideal of models. It’s a tough fucking truth to accept, but accept it you must if you want to be able to live with yourself happily.