Reply To: Don't shit your pants: take charge of anxiety

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S # Posted on October 15, 2014 at 9:38 pm

What I find best for beating anxiety is exposure therapy. Taking baby steps, building exposure, and progressively challenging yourself more and more.

I remember about two years ago, I could not look anybody in the eye, or say hi to any stranger without my heart pounding hard. I felt like dying. Finally I got sick of this, so I started with this: every time I would purchase something at a store or gas station, I would force myself to say “Have a good day.” I know, basic shit, but that was a legitimate challenge for me. After doing this for a while, I realized that, ‘hey, this is normal, it is nothing to be afraid of.” Coupling action with new thoughts helped a lot.

Soon, when have a good day became easy, I would start asking the clerks “are you a musician? Do you play an instrument?” Totally random, totally did not make sense, but it was hilarious. I usually would tell them to learn bass just for me… haha it is a good thing they found this funny rather than creepy (although that doesn’t really matter).

I used to think I had no hope with girls. But due to taking action frequently, I have started relaxing more around girls, like a healthy human being. I got a girls number recently, with very low anxiety. This is something that would have paralyzed me just last year. I also took a snapshat today with a cute orthodontist.
Now yeah, I know the players on here may be like, “brah, I get laid, what is this shit?” but hey, this is just the starting point for me, and I admit I have a lot to learn. But to go from struggling to say hi, to getting a number and conversing with ease, was great progress.

To those out there with anxiety, I recommend exposure therapy (in some form). Take small steps, everything counts, it all adds up.

Also, some may be discouraged with how long it took me to reach this point. Please realize that this is because although I took frequent action, there were some periods of inconsistency, goal changes, etc. The more you do something, the quicker you learn. The more intense, the faster the results and progress. In the next year, I am going to make A LOT more progress with this stuff because it will be my #1 priority and goal.

I have WAY more to learn and do, but I am moving.

Are you?