Reply To: What's The Well You Can Always Draw Upon?

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Anonymous # Posted on October 17, 2014 at 9:38 pm

Music and writing. Writing is critical. If I don’t write to make sense of a feeling I have that contradicts another feeling if I choose a different option I wouldn’t know how to proceed with life. I have to VISUALIZE EVERYTHING I feel and think about. :)

A good example: ‘Why do I feel like a loser right now? I created music the whole day yesterday, I should feel happy. I feel like a loser because I’m not going to school this year and it was my own decision. But wait, it was my own decision because it was going nowhere, it didn’t give me perspective for the future and it was 90% harmful and resource draining, nerve-racking and just plain destructive. Why do I still defend it and try to search for a good in it? Because other people participate and have no options for their lives so I have to feel sorry for them as well? Feeling and doing are not mutually exclusive, though. I can feel like whatever I don’t do. That’s the easiest thing.’

It’s like I didn’t write anything, but there were fragmented files in my mind I had to defragment.