Reply To: What are you struggling with lately?

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Antwon # Posted on May 26, 2016 at 11:27 am

Hey JB! So lately here on my spiritual journey I have found that I’ve been really struggling with my self-image. Over the months I have been accustomed to always give attention to what my mind is saying. I have become obsessive over figuring out my mind or how to become ‘conscious’ in literally every moment that I realize I’m thinking. Because of my mind’s persistency on constantly evaluating and chastising itself to become ‘enlightened’, it will not give itself a break to think when it has the chance to do somethimg about it. At the same i understand, or act like i understand because i have so much knkwledge in this subject, that ive never NOT been enlightened. Me being able to be aware of the fact that i was thinking means that there was something there and alive that was watching my actions while i was ‘unconscious’ (thinking). So that relization seems rational to my mind it makes it condracts itseld by TRYING to let itself go

This constant loop of just back and forth war in my head leaves me extremely anxious and feeling dreadful sometimes. My mind has totally become despise of itself because of its own excessive nature to constantly judge tself for not being enlightened. While at the same time it judges itself FOR judging itslef. It feels quite life resisting to be in this state at times as I don’t even know who.I am anymore. It’s hard to talk and walk with confidence because I have this automatic habit to be drawn to whatever my mind is suggesting and saying. I just feel like I’m in this huge pickle…