|Rachel||# Posted on June 18, 2016 at 3:51 pm|
I was going through the same thing- trying to embrace new love while still holding onto an old one. I spent a lot of time comparing the two, not purposefully, and obsessing over the old love. I think what’s important to keep in mind is this idea of spreading as much love anywhere you can, and embracing the hurt that comes with the loss of a relationship as a bittersweet pain that reminds you how good love can feel.
I’m still struggling with the loss of my first love. I used up a lot of the self love I had saved for myself on him, and I’m finding myself very insecure and not in love with me anymore. I’ve been having suicidal idealogies and suffering from horrible anxiety attacks and feeling empty emotionally and mentally drained. I consiously don’t want to die, but there’s this voice in my head that shouts its opinion before I can stop it. I know I won’t do anything, I couldn’t hurt my family like that. But it would be really nice to not feel this empty.