Reply To: Are people a barrier to your goals?

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jm # Posted on August 25, 2012 at 12:37 pm

@mint, Manimal had it right, most of the control is in you but a lot of it has to do with the environment you surround yourself with.

But to elaborate a little more on your environment;

In high school, not succumbing to it can be very challenging, especially with how critical people can be on others outside their group or lower on the social scale. Too many people, this isn’t even a problem, but to others, there is a lack of support from our families. Our families reinforce our identity and give us conformation that it is okay to be who we are. It kinda causes people to cling to their friends because of how brutal it can be without their support. And that group, everyone sees, so you kinda get defined by it and then come the barriers. But you don’t have to let anyone define you, and there IS most definitely social mobility.

Most kids in high school have this mentality that every single little thing matters, and if they fuck up their world is going to end. It’s so dumb and can be very crippling to people and a community. A high school down the street has had like 20 suicides sense 2000, that shit to me, Is crazy, and tells me things are not right. I would think that it takes so much stress to even consider suicide, such an extreme thing. I was hangin out with kids from that school, all of them from different groups, Scean (I’ve never heard of it) Preppy cheerleader, and a softball player, each of them hated their school, said it was hell. None of them knew each other while attending. They said everything was so critical, it was all about what you wore, the things said, who you knew. So critical that it seemed like you either had to conform to inside the barriers or just not give a fuck or learn to be whom you are freely.

My advice, go buy some girl jeans, (if you’re a boy) and walk around with your middle finger up all day, because that shit DOESNT matter. I have never worn them by the way; I just think people who completely defy social norms are kind of bad asses and it puts you in situations where confrontation comes about all the time, and they learn how to deal with it and not hide. They break down those barriers.

Don’t be afraid of death embrace it, what I mean is, we all build up these fears in us and somehow we relate them to the fear of death, and it triggers a flight or fight response. So when that moment comes, awkward, some person is hating on you, anything really, and you start to act impulsively (because you don’t want to be defined by this moment forever or something, all bs,) just realize your kinda recreating your fear of the worst possible situation, death, and like… seeing that your afraid, by taking a step out of it, you don’t really become afraid anymore, you see it for what it is. The fear is there still, it might always be there, but you stop becoming afraid of all the possible bad situations and you organize it down to just being afraid of fear itself. Like FDR Said during the great depression. And if you conquer that, I think you’d be straight for life lol.

I only say this because you gotta do you man, something that can be really difficult, that is why you got to push yourself, and not be afraid of death at all. Everything is just a bunch of moments, and it is you that decides which ones define you, and many, many people dwell on the fearful ones, where it creates them. The moments just come and go.

Dont be afraid to not have any friends either, alot of times we hold on to these expectations of what life is, how we want it, compared to the people around us, especially with social media like facebook. Detach yourself from the idea of not being included, goin to parties, certain circles of people, fuck all your expectations, let go what YOU think you should be and be doing, forget your fantasies, and just focus on the moment that you are living right now and what you can do to always grow with it.

In so many ways I do not think people in your age set realize, Everyone is different, we all got our own problems to solve, and situations to deal with. We all individually live in our own world of networks where it is impossible to understand based on what you see of the surface patterns and created self images. I’m only saying, you may see what someone does, their actions, what they say, but you still do not know who they are, what they have in them and things they can accomplish, many people do so many things out of fear and its so limiting.

But really I can only give so much advice, what it comes to is will power. That’s it. Will you push yourself or not? Oh and Fuck expectation, its all about living as life comes, and there is no definition to what that is. It’s all just happening. I mean you got the 5 P’s, Proper preparation prevents poor performance, but we take it so far by analyzing everything, our heads go haywire and it all gets to complicated because it all IS so complicated, there are sooo many things going on around you all the time so much that your conscious head cannot solve itself. But in reality, you got all the tools inside you to solve the problems, but a person dulls the senses because of the confusion they create. So in a way, I kind of can’t really answer your questions, you have to answer them. These are the most important things that have helped me a lot through these types of situations. I could go on and on about them, Like I did, sorry about the essay lol, but there is so much more.

Remember to breath, life is a great thing, even the ones that don’t seem to be. They all teach so many things about the self, its all feedback, so always listen to what your body says feelings included. There is always so much more to see once coming about the realizing of how small the world you live in actually is, life in high school is sooooo small.