|TheSkaFish||# Posted on August 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm|
@sabas4, well, my instinct is always the thing that tells me “I can’t do it” in the first place. My instinct tells me that getting what I want is not realistic/that it is crazy talk, that I have to settle because I’m just not exceptional/smart/charismatic enough to do better than that. I don’t know when it first began, but I’ve always had this bad thought loop stuck in my head that says I’m not good enough. So it’s probably a mix of the other three, not enough effort/taking stuff for granted that was never really mine/negativity, which talked me out of putting in effort. Basically I would always tell myself either I can’t do it and there’s nothing I can do to help myself, or that if it is meant to be, then everything will take care of itself and I won’t have to do any work, and as a result a lot of opportunities passed me by and I ran out of time. That, and I used to believe a lot of negative things about myself and the world that simply weren’t true for my situation. I’d always run the worst case scenarios in my head, and not once did I visualize myself doing well.
I don’t want to bore or depress you with the details of each and every instance of this, because there are a lot of instances, and I’m trying not to be one of those people that goes on and on. Still, I wish there was something I could do to stop repeating these mistakes before it becomes the story of my life. And thanks for listening, I guess it helps a little bit :)