|Rose||# Posted on October 22, 2013 at 6:57 am|
In the past year and a half, I’ve gone through a unipolar episode, a manic one where I couldnt read a damned page and could work for weeks on end without a single day off, and the worst depression of my life so far, where I couldn’t get out of bed, literally slept all day – I used to smoke a pack a day and suddenly would hardly smoke a single cigarette a day. Im 23 years old, I’m so sick of this bullshit, im tired with blood in my eyes and ive nothing to show for myself. And everytime I meet someone, they ask me what I do or want to find out about me, of course I dont have much to say, I dont even have any enthusiasm or opinions to offer about any damned thing, bc im either not interested in most things, or they misunderstand what im saying.. I can feel them judging me and I feel like a wild animal whose claws are suddenly long and sharp, and I want to tear the skin on their face.. People, always judging, thinking they know something, thinking they understand when they dont understand shit, and im standing in front of them with nothing to defend myself with cause it took me 4 hours to get out of bed in the morning. What bullshit!