|The_truth_is_||# Posted on June 2, 2012 at 10:44 pm|
I have a different problem that brings about the same end feeling, but in different ways. I just can’t become emotionally attached to anyone. It is very difficult for me to just care about others. For the past 5 years I’ve been dating a girl that I’ve know since middle school. A few months ago we moved in together. She’s got many of the same tastes that I do, from board games to music to what’s the appropriate way of raising children to what makes good sex. We’re even totally okay with her finding a girlfriend to have around the apartment (because she likes girls, too) as long as we both agree on her. She’s extremely picky and for some strange reason she picked me over other guys who have many more things going for them.
And at the end of the day, when we go to bed, I feel lonely. Why? Because I just can’t care that much. I feel alone. I feel like the person next to me is the best I can do and the closest thing I can find to happiness and perfection, and still, I can’t get attached. I know I’ll be more sad if something bad happens to her than I would be if it happened to others. But I still wouldn’t feel much. I’m completely detached, I can’t feel a thing, and even with someone next to me, I feel lonely. I feel like I have no one just because I can’t get attached to anyone, so I have no one to hold on to.