|TheSkaFish||# Posted on October 30, 2013 at 3:09 pm|
Most days I my standard feeling is that things won’t get better. I never wake up with any real ideas or breakthroughs, and I feel I spend a lot of time building myself up only to get torn down again. I’d love to see myself be great, but I feel almost as if failure is in my very blood, I feel surrounded by it. I grew up in and live in a small 50 year old house that is now a shambles, there’s junk all over the place. My parents are both college educated, but in spite of this, never really made much money at all. I don’t know if they ever really knew what their passions were, let alone actually pursued them. They decided to retire much earlier than they realistically could and ever since then we’ve been involved with the stock market, to no avail of course. All of our appliances and services were sub-par to begin with, and there isn’t a room in the house that doesn’t have something broken in it, which has remained broken for some time. We’ve never really been at “just OK”, let alone done well…and then all this Recession/Obamacare shit that’s happening…and then there’s my age and the fact that I’ve never been a natural at anything. Some days I feel like everything around me is telling me I’m just not going to make it.
I know it sounds crazy but I find myself spending all day trying to find evidence against it.