Reply To: Genuine altruism

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JonH # Posted on October 30, 2013 at 6:13 pm

@eman, Our culture is so sexist we can’t even see it. Every type of sexism you can possibly imagine thrives.

Men should be nice to women. Its expected. (Unequal altruism towards females)
But if a man is nice to a woman it is for an ulterior motive – penis in vag. (Men only want sex)
If men ignore women all together, its considered an odd behavior.
If men are mean to women, there is something seriously wrong with them.

I think the real issue at hand in your class discussion is sexism, in varied forms. Many women grow up now in a completely opposite disposition than from a century ago. Women are suppose to be more independent, they are suppose to be vigilant of men that want to have sex with them, and politeness by a man is often considered creepy.

Of course that is not to say that there isn’t a problem of creepy men being nice to women. But which is the larger problem?
The fact that women must be cognizant that every altruistic seeming deed is actually just a sex-drive, and they should tread with caution?
or
The fact that there is an increasing number of men who are socially awkward (or deprived), and sexually saturated (porn, the internet, TV) and thus ‘creep’ on women?

Altruism is debatable if it exists. From a purely scientific view you can never prove that altruism exists, for every action will eventually prove to be to the benefit of the initiator.

However, there is no doubt all of us have done things simply because we believe it is the right thing to do, and want to help.

There was a discussion a month ago about how to approach a girl you think is pretty without asking them out, creeping on them, or being vulgar. The fact such a discussion exists says something.

No matter what response was put in to the thread, some girl would reply with “Well, I wouldn’t really like that, and think it was creepy (or wrong, or not very polite).”

One suggestion was “Hey, I just wanted to say you’re really attractive” and keep walking.

Which was replied by some lady “Well if he kept walking, I would be kind of creeped out…”

Which another actually recommended doing it, saying that it would make her day.

Men have a problem with self-control, social deprivation (older males), sexual saturation (porn), and the idiocy of actually thinking women “want it” all the time (hence the issue with rape, assault).

Women have a problem with over-analyzing a person, bias towards the “creepy”, nazi-feminism, and the whole social stigma (extremely conflicted, pull from both sides) of being ‘pure’.

Anyway, the subject is far grander and deeper than I care to imagine. It won’t be resolved within the next few centuries. Humans are still infantile when it comes to racism and sexism.