Reply To: I have a story to tell

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Bryan Hellard # Posted on August 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

Every single weekend, you forgot the L

“and look and (against his mothers wishes) poke the sea creatures that would wash on to the shore” The and look and doesn’t sound right, can’t tell what you’re trying to say

Check capitals on names, Mikey, Corey, Joey

“but I sure as hell going to try.” There needs to be an “am” in there somewhere. Sure as hell am going to try, I am sure as hell going to try, either or.

” wash them away, and throw rock at them.” Or throw rocks away, you’re listing different options of destructions (unless they do them all at the same time!)

biggest, bestest, most detailed sand castle ever. Bestest isn’t a word, but I think it fits nicely :P

Watch for apostrophes, like I’m, can’t, I’d, things like that.

Very nice story, I really like your writing style