0010 :: Why Meditate?

 Smoking Chrome (@SmokingChrome)8 years, 2 months ago

— “you should try to do yoga and meditation. physical detoxing can help ease your mind. there is a cure for all of this. whatever you want to be, whatever you want to feel, the power is within you. you can take control of your own life” — @lohezic, July 14th

After the laundry list of ‘crap that’s happened to Mr. Chrome’ I get these suggestions from fellow user Lohezic, summarized thusly:

1 – Yoga,
2 – Meditation,
3 – Physical Detoxing,
3a * Ease your mind,
3b * There is a cure,
4 – Whatever you want to be /or/ feel: The Power Is WITHIN You.
5 – Take control of your own life.

These are awsome suggestions. Specifically the last one. Take control of my own life.

What *is* the best remedy to all this? What is the best way in which I can take control.

I don’t know about the rest of the folks out there living that High Existence… but it seems that the best thing to do when confronted with memories like these is to meditate.

I have tried yoga – it’s excellent – with a regimen of running a mile per day and weight training I gained lots and lots of muscle. My mantra then was “The Better the Body – the Better the Mind.” That was in my college daze though, wherein I had a highly focused peremptory attempt at making the books as a bastard Computer Science/Pre-Engineering student with an Associate of Sciences in those fields. On the way to those goals I got a Associate of Arts General Education. Which frustrates me to no END. Because, you see, by school fiduciary logic that means that I have *a* degree and I am now ready to move on to bigger and better things. Enough with that particular frustration.

I have not yet tried chelation therapy – if that’s what is meant by physical detoxification – but it sounds like it might be promising. If there is some way to remove any traces of heavy metal from my body that might be nice. On the other hand… I guess I kind of enjoy the idea of being *really* Mad as a Hatter.

Achieving the Ease of Mind thing is rather hard for me at times. For instance, my final direct ancestor, Tom Mix died a few months ago, and my family is going to have a memorial sometime at the end of July. This means that every single one of my direct ancestors (ie. Grand Parents and Parents) are no longer living. This makes me feel unrooted… if that makes any sense in today’s modern world. I no longer have any particular family member to look at and say… ‘I’m a chip off of these old blocks here.’

Finally, before we get to the two last major Lohezician points, I wanna say that the idea ‘there’s a cure’ out there somewhere is a little… light and fluffy. Who say’s I need a cure? Doctors, Society, Family, Friends… all things we agree (I hope) are bad things in general (though hopefully good in specific cases). Who would Mr. Chrome be without his Sickness? Without the wonders of Mercury Heavy Metal Poisoning? Without the Terrific Wonderworld of Yesteryear?

Now, on to the last two, seemingly quite major, points:

Whatever you want to be and however you wish to feel – it’s within you.

Have I summarized that correctly?

Well, anyhoo, the idea is that we all have what is called a will. Perhaps even a will to power. I, on one hand, am not convinced we have any power with regard to some things. Abusive babysitters or finger avulsing metal doors for instances. What we do have any power over is… well: our selves.
I have power over my self. My domain is my self. Is this a true statement?

Well… Where does the self begin? Where does it end – and when does Other begin?

What *exactly* do I have power over? All that is inside of my mind, I guess.

And what does my mind have power over? Nothing but its own self.

And where does empathy come in – that feeling of putting one’s self in another’s situation? Is that *my* mind? Or theirs? Or my mind pretending to be theirs? Would it make sense to call all empathic feeling a feigned response?

— YO ASSHOLE – QUIT NAVEL GAZIN’ —

Sorry folks, that’s one of my familiar voices… I call him Humility. He likes to Humiliate me. To Humble me.

On to the final point:

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

TAKE – as in Wrest, or struggle, or pull away from

CONTROL – as in steering a car or moving bicycle handlebars

OF YOUR – as in your particular demense wherein you live your daily mental life.

OWN – as in owning up to some particular facts.

LIFE – as in the events that happened and the reactions to those events which resulted in your being here today, with this particular mindset and worldview.

That’s the most repeated piece of advice I have ever gotten in it’s various forms. It almost makes me cynical when I think of it… It seems a little cliched. If ya get my drift.

For instance: what control does a nine-year-old child have over their life? Their domain is small, their mental demense is still in the construction phase, and they are easy prey.

That’s why we begin to struggle in the years between childishness and adultacy (meh, neeulogizms, neologisms…): we struggle for independence.

When we are not independent we are easy prey. When we are too independent we get struck down by nature, in all its maleficient magnanifous effulgent ineluctable glory – if we’re not smart enough to outsmart that nature, that is.

Now… taking control is pretty hard. Defining *WHAT* to take control of is even harder. This is what those blathering fools were yammering on about whilst you were busy being drunk on hormones (or other, less savory, chemicals): responsibility. ‘You’re being Irresponsible.’ ‘Fucking Irrisponsible Faggot.’ ‘Hey Dipshit, TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING BLINKER.’ (ah, the joys of being responsible for multiton vehicles hurtling forward at unimaginable unnatural speeds). What should one take control of?

Perhaps what we own is what should be our responsibility: our little circle of stuff that defines us as we define ourselves – the miasma of dust your body throws around and flakes off day in and day out… the debris of life lived as we move forward: apartments, cars, keys, books, papers, sanity, engagement ring(s?)… the rubble of the destroyed lives you left in your wake (hopefully a small pile of fragmented individuals – damnably large in some cases, though)…

Life… Ah, what is that?

“God told me,
Got the Life,
Got the Life,
Got the Life…”

– Korn

What is life but the things we leave behind? The people we affect for good and ill? The plans we make? The expectations we break?

How do we take control of all this ephemera? These are all just *results* of our minds cogitation and movement within the noosphere… yes?

At what point do we say ‘enough is enough?’ Where in this particular mind of mine (or *yours* if you feel this is a personable enough response to you) do I begin to take control and enact a set of legitimate foundational cornerstones upon which to build a life that is orderly, controlled, and not chronically haphazard?

Perhaps I should begin by saying I.

As in: I WILL Wrest Control Of My Life From Fate.

July 16, 2013 at 10:01 am
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