2 questions to ask yourself about the self for selfish reasons …

 Tine (@tine)7 years, 4 months ago

pa-pesptive-o : {self aware in contrast to other humanoids}

the first question is simple: -are-you-kind-?

the second question to ask yourself is schismed into two: -why-or-why-not-?

the answer to question 2 will reveal something about yourself, no matter which side of the schism you land on.

dis-clay-mur : participation with these 2 questions is purely optional , please dont take this the wrong way and think i am telling you your reality , this is simply an {awareness} exercise , that you can ignore if you so chose . either way , please if you respond be of the participation side and know nothing is being forced here

(also know, for the few out there, this isnt aimed at anyone, this is a question i had to ask myself)

May 9, 2014 at 11:08 am
Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

I like this. Reminds me of a joke by a guy named Russell.

– Do you like me deepthroating you?
– *disappointed grimace* I don’t like you using it as a continuous verb!

This joke was inspired by real life events.

Can you be genuine with all your emotions?

I like criticizing my psychology colleagues how narrow the results from their experimental psychological tests are. To criticize their unconscious reasons. Sometimes to gut them. This requires timing.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

well, the answer for me was ‘no’, and the reason, once i got to the core was pure, undiluted and unfiltered, selfishness,

realizing this profound selfishness i looked for a way to layer my perspective with an idea that was not just about meh,

and ever since kindness, the consideration of others for the sake of it, got added as a perspective layer to balance my profound selfishness, i sense a feeling of freedom and ‘rightness’ to my approach towards reality

i say all dat^ in response to “Can you be genuine with all your emotions?”, bc i have found that by adding kindness to my selfish pursuits, i am able to express all of my emotions, yet still be able to allow others to be receptive,

so i think, yes

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

i also realized that because i was not kind to myself, and my weaknesses, this reflected outward in the same way towards others and their weaknesses,

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Anonymous (64) (@) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

A lot of truth in this statement.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Q1. Yep.
Q2. Because I like it that way.

Also…

Ca-pital-let-ters : [USE THEM]

Spel-lch-eck: [USE IT]

Conver-satio-nal-value: [Make sure your topic has it before posting]

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

gra-m-mar na-zi {not kind} see this

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Spelling isn’t grammar.
Choice of topic isn’t grammar.

Being a butthurt OP isn’t grammar.
Advice isn’t nazism.

Check mate, baway.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

only you appear to butthurt, you can take or leave my comment, but if you are so arrogant that you feel the need to correct spelling, grammar, etc. when what you are correcting was i) done on purpose and ii) actually does nothing to impede communication,

youre just looking for something negative to say,

and are not being kind like you mentioned you were in your first reply. the fact that you dont see this, and respond in a continuing negative way, should tell you something

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Right, “done on purpose”… everything is always “done on purpose” when called out on a failure.

I am not being negative, you are. I’m offering advice, take it or leave it. There’s no negativity in that, and there’s nothing mean or rude about advice.

If you have a negative opinion about the advice, the negativity is on your end.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

ok cool, thank you for your ‘kind’ advice, just know your opinion on my grammar and spelling is not really something that i care about,

if you dont like it, dont reply

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sian (109) (@siantastic) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

1. Sometimes, more often than not perhaps, but definitely not all the time.

2. When I feel disconnected from everything kindness seems pointless, as does everything else. When I’m in touch with myself, and therefore happy I know kindness makes me feel good. With or without kindness, I’m pretty sure I’m still always being selfish. It makes ME feel good. It may just be a hunt for my own satisfaction that leads me to kindness, and someone else’s smile is just a huge bonus. As far as I know it’s still genuine, because I feel most honest with myself when I’m happy.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

hey man, i definitely see kindness in you, here and in other threads, i apologize but i am gonna be super lazy and copy/paste something i mentioned to another poster below this comment,

he also commented on the fact that to do things for others is selfish, and i felt my reply can kinda apply to you as well, again, im apologize for being lazy,

“yes, thats pretty much it, you cannot escape being selfish, even doing things for others makes you feel good, which is why you do them, this is selfish,

kindness is about going about being selfish in the most efficient way. if you do something kind for another, just because thats how you are, and expect nothing in return,

you are being selfish in a way that benefits others tremendously, as well as yourself, and this combo brings outs a very efficient, enlightening cause/effect,

kindness is more than materiel, kindness is listening to someone even if you dont want to, kindness is saying hi to someone who appears downtrodden, kindness is an approach,

and if your goal is simply to help, to not receive anything but the self-reward of really helping someone, even if the help seems small, then this is the right reason. its ok to enjoying helping others, its not ok to try to control them, kindness eliminates the need to control”

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Anonymous (2) (@) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

yes

because i always consider other people before me.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

are you also kind to yourself ? i mentioned this to another poster,

“kindness is not weakness bc you have to first be kind to yourself in order to be kind to others, and giving away all your money is not being kind to yourself. or, letting people take advantage of you is not being kind to yourself,

kindness, as i am using it, is a reality filter, a way to view yourself and others around you.”

^what do you think ?

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TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

@tine, yes, I would say that I’m kind. Or at least that I strive to be. First off, I feel good when I do good things. Similarly, I feel bad when I do bad things. But what’s more, I agree with kindness and disagree with cruelty. I understand why kindness is a virtue. I appreciate the kindness I have been afforded by others – and similarly, I have resented the people who knowingly decided to show me cruelty.

Which brings me to a gray area – sometimes it is tempting to show them cruelty in return, but usually such moments pass quickly. It doesn’t really matter after all, since those places and times are not real anymore. It’s all in the past.

I am still interested in making something out of myself and being successful, but believe at the same time that I can still be kind.

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Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Q1: Sometimes. Depends on if they are kind to me, or if I know them.
Q2: Because I know how it is to be confronted by unkind people, and I choose to show the same respect to others.
Why? Because I suppose I like people to like me.
Why? Because they are useful, interesting or I can learn something from them.
I suppose I didn’t really learn anything from this, but it could definitely be an interesting question for other people!

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

“I suppose I didn’t really learn anything from this, but it could definitely be an interesting question for other people!”

dont be so sure =)

“Sometimes. Depends on if they are kind to me, or if I know them.”

^there is something to be learnt from here^

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Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

If it benefits myself to be kind to them (which is just about always) then I will be kind to them.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

my argument is, it always benefits you to be kind to them. which you seem to agree with for the most part too

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Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

Yes. There is no sense in starting crap with someone. Its sad that many people do this still. You never know what that person may do as a reaction to your negative shit.
I can think of very few instances where being a prick will be a good thing, even if you hate that person with a passion.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 2 months ago ago

i dont know if i agree about the last part, i think that if you are kind to self there is no need to be a prick, bc you recognize where the other lacks, harsh words typically only closes ears, making what you intended moot, whereas firm words based on kindness that speak truth, even if undesired by the opposing person, will allow them to be heard.

i guess its about control, i wish to be myself regardless who i am facing, to give into prickness is allow them a sense of control over your self bc you are, self described, a kind person, to lose this kindness is to submit to their control, which, if they are doing something that makes you want to be a prick, is their intention in the first place, to get a rise out of you.

what do you think?

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Anonymous (1) (@) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

I can’t be kind, because if I were, I would not have any money. I would had spent it all being kind.
Can I be kind without being broke? No, but I can tell people I am kind, and show off a bit, while not spending any money on it. And other people will see it as kindness, because they do exactly the same thing – they don’t want to be broke. Society as we know it doesn’t alows us to be kind – it’s against it.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

hm. i think i understand. know that for me, kindness is not weakness bc you have to first be kind to yourself in order to be kind to others, and giving away all your money is not being kind to yourself. or, letting people take advantage of you is not being kind to yourself,

kindness, as i am using it, is a reality filter, a way to view yourself and others around you.

being kind in a world without is to be chaos,

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Anonymous (1) (@) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

But if you are being kind to yourself at the expense of others, isn’t that just being selfish? I mean, it’s easy to be kind when you don’t have to give nothing – that’s what I mean by “showing off a bit”.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

yes, thats pretty much it, you cannot escape being selfish, even doing things for others makes you feel good, which is why you do them, this is selfish,

kindness is about going about being selfish in the most efficient way. if you do something kind for another, just because thats how you are, and expect nothing in return,

you are being selfish in a way that benefits others tremendously, as well as yourself, and this combo brings outs a very efficient, enlightening cause/effect,

kindness is more than materiel, kindness is listening to someone even if you dont want to, kindness is saying hi to someone who appears downtrodden, kindness is an approach,

and if your goal is simply to help, to not receive anything but the self-reward of really helping someone, even if the help seems small, then this is the right reason. its ok to enjoying helping others, its not ok to try to control them, kindness eliminates the need to control

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Anonymous (1) (@) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Kindness is about helping others even if it hurts you, just because if you don’t others will hurt more.

Kind people in our society are looked upon as naives and are generally abused by others, while they should be perceived as examples of the best of the human behavior.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

i get that, most people are kind out of weakness. a need for others to accept them, but thats not what im talking about here.

the kindness i am talking about starts with self which prevents being naive and abused.

kindness, people working together, in society is the only reason we are where we are, today.

if everyone just thought for themselves and there was no community, no kindness, society would not exist

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Anonymous (1) (@) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

I don’t think most people are kind out of weakness, or because they need to be accepted. Did you get that from my reply? If they wanted to be accepted, they would stop being so kind, because they know they are being abused – the ignorant is the abuser who thinks he’s getting the upper hand by being “smarter” – he just won’t have a happy life.

Sure, the abuser would be rich and wealthy but in general people won’t like him, and would only talk to him when they need something from him. No one would just drop by to say hello, because he abuses people, and people feel abused around him, no matter how good he is at hiding it.

Do you think where we are now, as a society, is a good place? We could be so much better if people were really kind, and didn’t stop being kind when it conflicts with self-interests. That’s not being kind, that’s being polite!

Societey doesn’t work on people helping people, but on business helping business.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

i meant society, as it is. the idea and what this has brought in terms of mental evolution to humans. the way i see things, ‘how’ society is is irrelevant, it is the fact that humans are intermingling to achieve great things that is important,

the rules of society are just semantics, the details of ‘how’, and rules evolve as society does, there is clear historical referencing that could be done that would prove this,

what is important from a learning standpoint is that humans are within a reach of each other, learning from others is what our scholastic system attempts to mirror, and it is this that is our distinct advantage over species, our ability to communicate on the level that we do

consider nature, examples highly evolved (intelligent) species are social, we humans are social to an extreme,

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

all that about society being said, kindness, this idea of helping others to help your mental self, falls in line with being one of the most efficient approaches to reality that brings about the highest number of probability based, positive outcomes

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

“Societey doesn’t work on people helping people, but on business helping business.”

you are saying the same things i did, you are just saying,

big groups of people with common interests helping big groups of people with common interests,

its still people getting along with people at its core

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

when i say ‘weakness’ in reference to kindness i mean, emotional insecure people that allow others to take advantage of their time, money, or general sense of self,

^i dont call that kindness, because that is missing the key element, kindness to self.

i also think a lot of people are kind out of weakness, a lot more than you might imagine, i am to a degree, but i have learned to create this boundary of being kind to self

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

now that i said all that, consider this statement again,

“i guess, think about the idea in the opposite, if you are not kind, do you help others ? society works on people working together , so from an efficiency standpoint,

kindness has the better cause/effect that correlates more to how humans have evolved to the point where we are today,”

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

what im saying is more than just being polite, politeness as i see it is a subcategory of being kind, if you are kind are also polite, along with more

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Tine (366) (@tine) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

i guess, think about the idea in the opposite, if you are not kind, do you help others ? society works on people working together , so from an efficiency standpoint,

kindness has the better cause/effect that correlates more to how humans have evolved to the point where we are today,

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