So this past weekend, I hung out with one of my best friends for a few years now, and her friend from college whom I had not met before (lol hi if you read this). We went to the Museum of Science in Boston, to the planetarium to watch a laser show accompanied and going along with the Beatles music. We also were rolling on MDMA. As you can guess, the show was qoierbvqeipubvpaieubvpqbr AMAZING. But that’s not the point of this.
After the show we walked around the city for a few hours just talking about anything and everything, it was very liberating. It was raining out, but the rain wasn’t bothersome (insert Bob Marley quote: some people feel the rain, others just get wet). And it was pleasantly warm compared to the freezing temperatures we’ve had, and also pretty windy out. So blah blah, we were rolling and feeling great, nothing new there. I had rolled something like 6-8 times beforehand, in all different situations (raves, beaches, with one or two close friends). But I came to a realization, one that I thought I had before, but I truly came to understand it this time. I had always seen people saying its the drug that makes you feel that good, but its also you doing it, so don’t depend on the drug to make you feel that happy. And I thought I knew what that meant. But after this past roll, I figured out that I did not really know what that had meant. After that day, I kept on thinking, “Why should I not feel that good all the time, what is stopping me?”
But this is not the same as that after-roll glow that happens a lot, where you just feel good about everything, almost like a delayed comedown from the drug. This is different than that, I am choosing to feel good about everything. I am consciously turning everything into a positive experience. Almost like thinking, ok so if I were on drugs right now how would I feel about this? And then make yourself feel that way. It made me think of the placebo effect, and how maybe you can get your body to actually do this. Maybe not as extreme as rolling, I’d rather not use up all my serotonin all the time, but if you truly believe that you are extremely elevating your mood, then it can happen.
I guess to sum up, what I most got out of this experience was a new way of looking at life, one in which I thought I was doing pretty damn well. Just serves as a reminder that we can always grow and do better :)
:) Hi from the UK, i am going too try this, there is something too be said for the active process of positive thinking, I have just emerged from an extremely damaging relationship with someone i used too class as a best friend and finding myself leaning too the dark without even trying, thank you :)