A girl I have a thing with has a thing for someone else too.

Sam Frens (@sfrens) 10 years, 3 months ago

So there is this girl that I really really like. Like my dream girl. We both met when we got to college and she is my neighbor next to my dorm. We both started hanging around each other everyday and we found that our values are the same. As we started hanging out more and more I started to realize that we both had feelings for each other. I knew she had a boyfriend so bound by my moral code I couldn’t act upon my feelings, I couldn’t make the moves I wanted to. However, I knew that if I didn’t explictly tell her how I felt than I would really regret it. I told her and she said that she felt the same but she had a boyfriend and felt bad saying that. What do I do? I really really like her and I tend to follow my heart and my heart is telling me I want her.

September 26, 2011 at 2:56 am
Ray Butler (1,423)M (@trek79) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

I feel for you, man. I have missed the boat on more than one occasion and am alone now because I couldn’t even do what you did, tell her. So you would be better advising me as you obviously have gotten further than I ever did. My advice would be something shit like “wait”.

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Alex Charbonneau (0) (@acharbonneau) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Bro, don’t fret. This has happened to me too. (actually it’s happening right now) I know how you feel. She’s the one. You know it, she knows it, your friends know it. If you feel that way, then you have nothing to worry about because it has to work out. If she’s the perfect on e for you, then how can it not work out in then end?

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Anonymous (2) (@) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

I laughed a little when you said “bound by my moral code I couldn’t act upon my feelings.” All is fair in love. Fortune favors the brave. No girl wants to be tentatively lead away. They want to be swept off their feet. If you want her like you say you do, make her yours. The rest doesn’t matter.

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Sam Frens (39) (@sfrens) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Thank you a lot guys. I really really value this community.

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Just cause there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.

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Jam N (0) (@jamscape) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

^Oh , dang, ha ha. The mating game *is* a serious competition. Go and win her if you are certain she is the one. Just be sure that she breaks up with that bf before you guys get together, otherwise someone will be a cheater. That saying, “All is fair in love and war,” I believe is more of a description of how nasty the competition can be rather than an excuse for one’s actions. Fair and square, fair and square.

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1.61803399 (247) (@drunkmonkmeth) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

If you want her take her.

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clintbeastwood (6) (@clintbeastwood) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Just be careful of the emotion baggage, not in a negative tone in any way. I’ve been through this too. Seems like it’s the story of my life. In a way I want to show her that I am way better than her boyfriend, but then you have to start thinking. If she is willing to straight up leave her current boyfriend for you, would she not be willing to leave you for another guy? If you want a relationship with this girl (not just sex) then you have to think of that.

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Jam N (0) (@jamscape) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

^ exactly.

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Bobby (190) (@bobbylloydxd) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Moral code be damned, go after this girl. If she would leave this guy for you then she will end up leaving him for someone and you doing him a favor, in an odd way that he will probably never appreciate.
As far you having to be concerned about her leaving you later on, its neither here nor there. Time is imaginary, we are all going to die, one second of love is better than a lifetime of stability. Do what you have to do. Either go after the girl or take the extremely boring alternative.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

You care too much, that’s the problem. If you want her, you should just get her, and forget about the rest. Why do you make things hard for yourself? And for her? You’re making both of you suffer by not being decisive enough. And why are you so attached to her? She’s just A girl, there are millions of girls. If she really was that special you would already be with her.

You should always follow your heart, without resisting it. The ego often disguises as the heart though, but you can’t know this if you don’t go through with it. Experience is the only thing that teaches.

So to make it simple: GO GET HER, bro. She’s yours.

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Sam Frens (39) (@sfrens) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Sounds like a deal. I will go get her. I know that there are other girls out there, but I refuse to deny my heart because it knows what it wants. And my heart, not my penis. I really appreciate the feedback though, and thanks to you guys, I’m gonna go out and get the girl.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

@Sam Don’t ignore what your penis says. It’s a hardwired (pun intended) response for a reason. Your instincts know what’s right. Trust your heart and your penis, they (almost) always work together.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

LOL at Manimal’s comment. I would maybe go easy on trying to woo her at the moment because she is still with someone. I met my boyfriend when I still had one and we were friends for months, he never tried anything because he respected the fact that I was taken and if he wouldn’t have respected that we most likely would not be together right now.

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Jam N (0) (@jamscape) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

Men listening to their second, and may I mention—smaller— heads have found all sorts of famously miserable trouble.
Consider that maybe this girl doesn’t need her boat rocked before you press your case. You want her and may win her, but she does not belong to you and exists for hers own ends. I agree that you should follow your heart; you have to try. I would in your shoes.

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Sam Frens (39) (@sfrens) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

I think I’m going to try. Still nothing really drastic like asking her to go on a date with me, but just trying to show her that she does mean a lot to me and she is worth being “woo’d”, like that she is worth the effort to me.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 10 years, 3 months ago ago

I think that is the best approach you can take. :) Just keep doing what you’ve been doing cause she obviously likes it and you.

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Obviously, you’re not a golfer (605) (@donjaime23) 9 years, 7 months ago ago

@sfrens, You challenge the rival suitor to a duel, my good sir!
http://shake-speares-bible.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/duel-prarrie-dog.jpg

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Matthew (0) (@matthewleggmead) 9 years, 7 months ago ago

JUST GO FOR IT!
You never know, you could end up marrying her one day, that other prick might end it with her a few months/years down the line

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Anonymous (47) (@) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

@sfrens,
Sounds like the story between Pam and Jim from The Office. Let the relationship between her and her boyfriend end naturally. Think of it this way, if she breaks up with her boyfriend just to get with you, how do you know that she will not do the same thing to you a year later or so? What goes around, comes around. But hey, it’s your life and you could do as you please.

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Anonymous (134) (@) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

If she’s so easily lead astray do you really want to be in a relationship with her?
Idk i just couldn’t trust someone if this was the situation we met in. no matter how perfect it may seem.

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Anonymous (2,833) (@) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

@BassInstinct, you’re digging up a lot of year-old threads..

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Anonymous (47) (@) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist,
Your welcome.

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Zykanthos (4,757)M (@chodebalm) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

@BassInstinct, You’re*

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Bryan Hellard (307)M (@xyver) 8 years, 5 months ago ago

@BassInstinct, Please refrain from too much thread necromancy… Some things are good to dig up, but relationship stuff or pressing questions of “what do I do?” are probably long dealt with.

PM the person if you really want to say something about their year old situation.

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