A girl who likes me but has a boyfriend

tornado (@tornado) 8 years, 10 months ago

Hello All,

I would really appreciate people views and opinions on this:

I have been working with this girl for 12 months and have always laughed and connected really well throughout our day to day at work. It started on a work night out where she was always around me and we were realising how well we got on with eachother, common interests etc. The next social led to us driving to a beach and chatting for a few hours under the stary sky about various things and its was then she told me about how great she thought i was. Under this stary sky she enjoyed my arm around her….on a discussion on the drive back she said that if she wasn’t hypathetically in a relationship that she would want to get with me.

Next came a snow day, involving lots of walking, pubs, bowling, a meal, few more drinks etc where she admitted when playing the game snog/shag/marry (she went first) saying she liked me and could see herself and me with the “marry” bit and later saying all 3 to me. We walked so much that day and i walked her home but for a larger part of it we had arms around eachother. We both admit an amazing connection and i am currently ending my relationship which was a long distance one due to the fact of the things above and that i should not have such strong feelings for someone if in a relationship as its not fair.

After exchanging loads of texts i texted her saying that i am splitting up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years to which point she organised to chat to me after she finished work to help with what i am going through. We always knew and discussed that when we were both in relationships the other partner wouldn’t mind us two hanging out but i said to her now that i am not i wouldn’t want to lose her as a friend to which she replied- you wouldn’t, no way!

There is more but i know she likes me as she has admitted it several times and the contact between us was never uncomfortable with it feeling right. She is in a relationship of 2.5 years too which she had to move down and now lodges with her boyfriend but can frequently tell of the things she dislikes with him.

What do i do? Do i tell her how i feel for her and the reasons with it being her? How do i do this? Or do i just leave it, i never want to hurt anyone and really upset for doing this-but she is perfect and i know she thinks the same of me (she has told me).

There is more of course but please help if you can??????

January 21, 2013 at 7:02 pm
Anonymous (359) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@tornado, yes tell her how you feel.

I had a similar situation recently but it was way crazier and it still worked out.

My boyfriend of 3 years and I were taking lots of breaks and starting to split up and his best friend/ cousin and I developed feelings for each other. His cousin told me he was in love with me and we kissed while I was still dating my boyfriend and we had a terrible drama that lasted over a period of six months but I am close with both of them still! And they are slowly starting to be able to be friends again.. terrible story I know but if this worked out, yours will.

The whole time it was happening I felt so justified in everything I did because I knew that I/ we were living out our truth. It was a huge growing experience.

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tornado (1) (@tornado) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@anjelica, thank you! :-)

I suppose you cant live with regret as well, i am afraid though if a say how much i want to be with her she will resort to defensive thing cos of the hurt of splitiing up.

But surely i must be right that from the experiences we have had she is also playing it dangerously and wouldn’t do those things if she was happy…..?

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Nick (554) (@splashartist) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@tornado, Just put it out there, tell her how you feel but don’t try to force her into anything. If she likes you enough it will work out.

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bRAINfART (8) (@whotheneighbors) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

tell her how you feel man. Whats the point of keeping all these emotions inside? release them!! cant you feel them???!!!!!

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Anonymous (359) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@tornado, yes i think that if you sense something it is worth bringing out in the open

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tornado (1) (@tornado) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

thanks all :-) But if you look at it from a female point of view i can’t possibly be getting the messages wrong??!

Think i will tell her tomos…

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VernalSoul (598) (@vernalsoul) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@tornado, That sounds like a beautiful love and special connection. Don’t let it get away.

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tornado (1) (@tornado) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@vernalsoul, i won’t, but the ball is in her court when i tell her, can only hope for it to work out and not mess any friendship or work.

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Afgoo (23) (@afgoo) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

Do your partners know you’ve been hanging out like this? I’d either have her end her relationship and date you or end your relationship to each other. It isn’t fair to her boyfriend if you two are acting this way and she’s likely thinking about you when she’s with him. That or maybe she’s a really promiscuous gal and you should be weary of her.

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dr. hamsa (42) (@s7221919) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

It seems she has made her decision, wait for her to end it. Be respectful of her current boyfriend though, don’t make a mess. : )

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

Lay your dick on her forehead.

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@tornado, Talk with her boyfriend about how much you love her, let him get disturbed and depressed that she likes you for a few weeks, and then decide if you want to be with her when you made her boyfriend not doubting his suspicions about her! Also, great thing you spoke to her when you pretended you’re a victim from breaking up with your girlfriend, there must be a hidden move there for her to see and make her say something when you’re vulnerable. Anyway, avoid any kind of emotional distress if I just gave you some.

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Subwoofer Stevens (246) (@jakehay) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@afgoo, This is good advice. You have to come to that crossroads and make a choice.

You didn’t mention age, but has this been a pattern for her or you with other relationships? I think that’s really important and the reason for this is she might do the same thing to you a year or 2 down the track, or vice versa. It’s worth discovering.

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Subwoofer Stevens (246) (@jakehay) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

And I guess I mention it because I’ve been in your exact situation twice.

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Anonymous (13) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

dont do it.

respect.

love endures time my friend. dont b hasty

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Leon (17) (@leke) 7 years, 4 months ago ago

Your desire for this girl is causing you anguish. Even if you get what you desire, perhaps you will always have other forms of anguish with her in your life.

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Gare (9) (@fossilfuelsrule) 7 years, 3 months ago ago

This was all going on a year and a half ago. What happened man?

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