A life with no ambitions.

Anonymous (@) 8 years, 9 months ago

I apologize in advance if this is the incorrect format of a post, but I am new to High Existence and I am not really sure what I am doing. Does anyone have any tips?
Anyway, so far my life has been a waste of time. I am 15 years old, I have no friends, no achievements, and it seems like my parents are determined to get me down. There is nothing at all I enjoy in life, and nor is there anything I look forward to. I have no interests, no ambitions, and I am not happy. I have been browsing this site for a while now, and there are a lot of things here that ejaculate a bit of sunshine into me and make life a little bit better. Unfortunately, it is not enough to get me pregnant with hope, joy and satisfaction, and nor does it last very long. I would not really care about being so lonely and unfulfilled if I expected things to get better, but I do not thins they will. I have spent most of my life looking to the future, until serendipity played its part and I discovered this website. I found out that I should be living life in the present more, and so, following this advice, my life improved! For an hour…
Living life in the present made me feel worse, because it made me realize that I really do have no friends, no interests, no happiness. And to make things worse, it also made e realize that the future is likely to be the same. So basically, rather than asking how I could develop some interests and goals for the future, I am asking – no,begging – for someone to tell me how to be happy now. I want to be satisfied with what I have got, but honestly, it does not seem like much. I would also ask for advice on how to find and make friends, but I really don’t think I am capable of that.
Thanks in advance!

March 9, 2013 at 11:49 am
Anonymous (359) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@wetlemon, Find something that seems beautiful to you and engage yourself in it : )

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Anonymous (272) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

That’s because you are a kid. That’s the way life is until your in college. It get’s better, trust me. It also gets much more difficult, so be prepared to step up your game!

Also, if you’re a dude… I’m gonna tell you night now this “begging” will screw you long term. A woman doesn’t like a man that begs. A man must be tough. Look up motorhead (the older the better) and be like Lemmy.

OH YEAH! Here is William Burroughs, words of advice for young people
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqBIgCb7dv0

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@anjelica, I was there. find something you love and do it over and over and over and over and over again, fuck other people, once people see you being passionate they will come.

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Anonymous (12) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@josephm, @anjelica, it’s unbelievably hard to find something I enjoy when I have no idea what it could be. Trust me, I’ve put a lot of thought into what I should try for fun, and I’ve acted on those thoughts. Unfortunately, nothing at all interests me. I’ve thought about killing myself, and then realized it was a stupid idea. I’m not going to commit suicide, but I don’t know why. Life seems to be getting worse and worse and worse, but for some reason I feel the need to stay here. It’s like I’m waiting for something. It’s like I’m waiting for a bus that I know won’t turn up, but I refuse to just go home. I’m not just guessing that the bus won’t turn up, because it’s a snowy day and the roads are blocked, and the day before all the drivers were killed anyway. I’m almost certain that life won’t get better, and I’m not just saying that as another hard-done-by teenager; I’ve actually put a lot of thought into.

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Anonymous (272) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@wetlemon, Do you like rock n roll? Get a drum set. Maybe a piano?

If you like modern techno dribble… god help you.

Do you like drawing? Do you like painting? Digital art?

Sports? Wrestling? Boxing? Judo? Anything?

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Alex (63) (@alexsabus) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

If you cant find something you enjoy… Find something you dislike or hate…..and then turn it around and look at it….then take the next step of having a strong will to pursue it…!

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@wetlemon, Well yknow, there’s a lot to be happy for… but to put it simply:

YOU*RE ALIVE. THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME. LIFE IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN HAVE.

Just meditate and have a little patience, and you’ll see that nothing can ever really make you happy or sad, that you need nothing to feel good.

Just feel good now, right away. NO EXCUSES.

As for making friends, that’s simple. Just meet people, it’s no rocket science. Even if you’re a complete freak you’ll find friends, because there’s so many people. It’s like randomly throwing a fishing net into the ocean, there will be a fish in it before long due to the sheer number.

“He who thinks he is able, he is able” -Buddha

Stop being such a pessimist. If you think you can’t do something, you sure as fuck can’t, because you won’t let yourself. It’s completely irrational as well, snap out of it.
Interests and goals is simple, just stay away from your computer and tv and books and other toys for a week and you’ll find there’s tons of things you want to do. Just do it.

And yknow, whatever is lacking is a potential interest. You say you have no friends and no achievements, well naturally that means you want friends and achievements. That’s all the motivation there is, for all of us, the rest is all about taking action.
FOR REAL.

I believe in you.
Peace and love
//Elion

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Anonymous (12) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Aw, you’ve all made me feel so special :D @manimal, I love your idea of staying away from TV and stuff for a week, I’m sure it will help. Thanks!

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@wetlemon, It sure will. Look, everything that you use to “kill time” is bad for your life. It keeps your mind occupied without you having to really do anything real, so you don’t get too bored. That’s the problem. Because the purpose of boredom is to propel you into action.

It’s all escapism, trying to silence the voice that’s telling you to do something with your life.
People watch tv, get drunk and high, jack off, etc. because “we have nothing better to do” but then they complain about things anyway. Well, they could have used that time and energy to do something about what’s wrong instead of just wasting it on pointless stimulation.

And yknow, the more you do something, the more the habit sets, and the harder it will be to break it. So you just gotta hang in there and be patient while rewiring your brain, it’s gonna suck at times, but the more you do it the more you let go of that resistance, and the better your life gets.

Seize the day.

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Anonymous (14) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@wetlemon People like you honestly have no hope in life, as you don’t seem to really want to achieve anything. If you did you’d be well on your way to self actualising (being completely happy wih yourself and having high levels of self esteem/self worth.) In order to self actualise you need to have your basic needs met; these include food, water all the nessesities you need to survive on a day to day life. The next step to self actualisation is something you’re obviously lacking; self esteem. In order for people to be attracted to your personality (and thus want to be your friend) you need to portray yourself in a way that seems appealing to others, you need to have more confidence and you should be more outgoing – if you self actualise many people will want to be your friend – and it’s really not that hard once you get started.

You’re 15 years old, life will get better. High school, and this time really is your own, you have no real responsibilites and have no need to hold down a job. Find something you’re interested in, this may be music, sport… anything. Everyone has something that they’re interested in, you just haven’t found it yet!

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Anonymous (12) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@mattsthoughts, ”you don’t seem to really want to achieve anything”

Hmm, I’m not sure how you meant that, but I do. I want to achieve loads. It’s just that I don’t know what ;P

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Anonymous (14) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

It means that if you really wanted to achieve something you have the power to do so, you’re only holding yourself back.

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Shu (32) (@shupac) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@wetlemon,

How’s your week away from TV been? Let me ask you something, why is it that you want to achieve?

There are people in the world who do nothing, aspire to do nothing, yet are completely in bliss by the fact that they’re alive. Then there are people who have strived, conquered, and achieved yet are completely miserable.

Try figuring out the Why before the What and How

Shu
SocialConfident.com

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Anonymous (12) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@shupac, it’s been amazing, really. I didn’t think I’d stick to it, but after the first day I realised that TV is completely mind-numbing anyway. I didn’t stay away from the computer though, but I haven’t been on facebook or anything, so I’m fine with that. To be honest I haven’t actually done anything noticeably productive, but I’ve spent a lot of time on this site which has helped quite a bit.
I don’t really know why I want to achieve. I just feel like I need to in order to be happy. I’ll think about it. Thanks.

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Shu (32) (@shupac) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@wetlemon, Good to hear about the TV watching man. I haven’t watched TV in almost 10 years.

In regards to the idea of achieving in order to be happy, I’ve achieved a lot in my life. I’m about to turn 30, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I realized that happiness doesn’t come from checkboxes on my life to-do list. I’ve learned that happiness comes from living a life based on my core beliefs and helping others. I still strive to achieve, but for a different reason now. I do it for love-love for others, love for creation, and love for myself.

I have faith that you’ll get there. Keep going. One suggestion I have is to develop a better balance between learning and doing. At some point, you’ll learn much more from your own experiences than from those of others. That said, I’d still like to share something I made with you. It’s not completely finished yet but it may give you some ideas:

http://www.socialconfident.com/framework/

Good luck,

Shu
SocialConfident.com

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taylor. (0) (@taylorbuschke) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@wetlemon, you have to appreciate yourself before you can with anything else. It sounds stupid, it does. But if you want to achieve life, you need the self confidence to do so. If you have nothing, no fire inside to achieve anything, you will go no where. You need to find motivation, something, anything to get you out of bed and do something with your life. Find that motivation.

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Heed them, HEthen (91) (@heedthem) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@wetlemon, So you’re telling me you don’t like *anything*? There must be something that sounds good to you. When you think of “achievements”, what are the first things you think of? Are you actually wanting THOSE achievements, or are you sure you’re not just wanting the PRAISE?

The problem with what I read from what you’re saying, is that it appears that you’re looking to fulfill yourself from external sources. Well, I have to say that that is impossible. I’m sorry, dear, that’s not what you want to hear. But the reason you don’t have “ambitions” is because you don’t know WHAT you want. You only want the end result, but the end result is only 10%, and the journey will be 90% of your time. You’re going to have to do this thing that is meaningless besides the “great” feeling you’ll get afterwards, and it will be something that you have to endure.

You are looking too long term and cutting short your mid- and short-term goals. That’s the problem. You’re hazy and not allowing yourself to form even a label on something you like cause you’re making the word “like” mean “passionate and life-absorbing in a way that lets me escape my pain” or you’re hoping to escape your pain through outward praise of doing something noteworthy. That’s not going to help you. You’ll still feel empty when you get praised for something you did – the only real reward you get for yourself is self-satisfaction. And you won’t get self-satisfaction from something that isn’t meaningful to you.

There is nothing you even like the idea of being good at? There’s nothing you even vaguely like the idea of enjoying?

Like I love the idea of being good at playing an instrument, but it’s so much concentration on something I’m not good at at all and don’t feel like pursuing, so I know I will never bother. Or no time soon. Anything like that?

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Anonymous (5) (@) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@manimal, Very well said!

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Marie (2,051) (@ARCANUS) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

Stop watching television and spending hours in front of a screen. Start doing things you haven’t done before, disconnect from your routine. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but it has to challenge you. Get active. Listen to music. Laugh your ass off for no reason at all.

The fact that you’re saying you don’t have any ambitions is self-contradictory in that your ambition is to get ambitious. Hah. When you get active and push yourself, you’ll find it beyond your comfort zone.

“I’m almost certain life won’t get better”. You’re still here. That is a reason in itself that you should stay alive. Why? Because you chose it. And why did you choose it? Because you realize life is a ride, and you’re curious about the next stop. Why are you even doubting your decision? Stop making excuses and viewing yourself as a victim, you’re here, and you’re here by choice. You’re in power of your choices.

If you change your mindset, you change your life. I was depressed and anxious, now I am not. I was 15 years, now I am not. It does get better. So get busy getting your theories tested, your heart broken and your dreams shattered, because nothing is more motivating than that.

My medicine against the apathetic state is thankfulness. Focus on what you’re thankful for. I know society keeps telling you that at some point you’ll be a finished human being if you follow certain guidelines. I say make your own guidelines.

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Shu (32) (@shupac) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

Here’s an article that took me a while to appreciate:
http://www.theminimalists.com/cal/

It’s called “‘Follow your passion’ is crappy advice.”

Essentially the message is

Don’t wait for perfect passion to drop in your lap. Get out and do things. By doing, you’ll find passion.

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Marie (2,051) (@ARCANUS) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Don’t linger in the past – you don’t live there anymore, and don’t fear the future – it comes soon enough. There are many people who would rather be in your place, there is always someone who is worse off than you. Yesterday’s pain is tomorrow’s strength. Life is bloody short, so appreciate it while you’re here. You have already chosen to stay. That tells me you like it here. I am glad.

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Karen (0) (@marinkaren) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

Thanks for posting this. I know there are others (me) that feel the same way and thought the comments were useful and comforting.

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kyle (0) (@olekingkyle) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

try “the mystery method” its a book. its pick-up artistry but at its core it’s basically a method for becoming more social

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Dominika (55) (@dominika) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

you are a 15 year old that managed to use the word “ejaculate” in a mature context. hence you are more mature than me, a 19 year old; let this be of comfort to you

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John (32) (@luzimzo) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

I LOVE YOU.

Here me out bro

Cut this narcissistic, individualist, me me me, and my life is horrible CRAP.

The solution to your problem is simple: Go help someone else.

When you put all your focus on serving others it is impossible to feel like CRAP!

NOW STOP READING THIS AND GO PUT THIS INTO ACTION!

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