A past, threesomes, and a new relationship?

 Anonymous (@)6 years, 11 months ago

My boyfriend and I have been dating for one year and two months, and we’ve hit a point where we don’t know if we should be together anymore. He won’t let go of my past, and I’ve just been lying about it because I just wanted my past to stay dead and buried. He can’t trust me now, and he feels like the only way to fix things is to get “equal” with me (in terms of my past relationships with guys) is to 1) sleep with another girl (or threesome?) and/or 2) pursue a relationship with another girl. I don’t know how else to fix this. While he pursues another relationship, he expects me to be waiting until he comes back.
Within the first two months of our relationship, he found out about my past by looking through my things after I basically told him about my past in a way that would hurt him. Ever since then, I tried keeping it buried by neglecting to tell him the truth about it all, until now.
He feels like those are my only options to fix this, and I’ve no idea how to fix things either.
He always worries about me not changing, but honestly I feel like I’ve changed a lot about in order to keep him happy. I feel like I lost myself along the way, because when I try to get back into things I enjoy, I feel like I lost passion for it all.

Please HE, i need some advice. He always comes back, regardless of what happens between us, and I don’t know how to let him go. But there’s been a lot of doubt between us, if we would last, yet he fills my head with an illusion of a future.

Anything would help.
Thank you.

July 11, 2014 at 11:30 am
Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

I think you should just be honest with him. If you do not agree with him, say so, and tell him that if he thinks that his view on the matter is the only view, then you feel that he is completely disregarding your feelings for his own selfish wishes and desires.

Tell him that if he wants to keep you, he has to be willing to consider your feelings.

If he is not willing to consider your feelings (once you have been completely honest to him about your feelings) then tell him you are going to leave him, because his actions are going to cause you suffering and you are not willing to sit around while he does this too you.

If he can’t get over your past, then there can be no future for you together.

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Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

I nearly had a threesome once :( with two beautiful girls.

But then some other stupid girl that liked to sing ruined it all for me.

I have gone my life to this day 3someless :( haha :)

So smile god dammit!! YOU HAD A 3SOME!! :P

lol have a nice day :) hope my words helped you smile at least.

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Anonymous (4) (@) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Yeah, thanks! That did make me smile a bit. i’m just in a bit of a rut. He took a low blow at me a couple days ago when he said he wasn’t coming back by saying “I fell out of love with you for your bestfriend”
… so I’m just really really hurt. I’m looking for any way to fix things, because it really falls down to me to look for solutions. (but I haven’t had a 3some yet, it was just a suggestion. I don’t know how I’d deal with that)

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Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

well he sounds like a very silly boy that doesn’t understand what love is.

You don’t fall out of love, real love is known as everlasting.

If it isn’t everlasting it isn’t real love.

I don’t think you should try to fix something that was broken from the start.

I think if you pursue him you will only cause yourself more suffering.

I KNOW ITS HARD. I’ve had my heart broken too.

you have to persist until the wave fucks off and leaves you alone.

SMILE!! :)

keep your chin up.

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Anonymous (4) (@) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

it’s so hard to. I made this guy up to be my world but I just feel taken advantage of.
I give and give, with little to nothing to receive. I don’t expect anything back, but I just would like something other than negativity back.

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Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

i know this might sound silly, but the universe requires balance, while you are giving too much good, you are not giving him the ability to compete.

Too much good calls for a bit of bad.

You need to calm down the giving a little bit. Maybe not give so much, and he’ll start to see what he’s lost.

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rohit (1) (@rohit1084) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Seems dumb to me that he would hold your past against you, that doesn’t sound very accepting. At the same time, I can see how his ego may want to get stroked. I would say to call him out on it and tell him how you feel, thats the point of relationship’s right?

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