A Starting-Five Lineup of Friends: Who to surround yourself with

Dr. K (@kclaibo2) 8 years, 10 months ago

(a blog post I quickly wrote about how to develop a good network of close friends and the roles of who you surround yourself with. Please feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism, opinions, or advice..)

Establish Your All-Star Roster of Support

A Starting Five Lineup

Some people will say, “It’s all about who you know.” Some people will say, “It’s all about who knows you.” I say, “It’s all about who knows you and respects you enough to help you. Because at the end of the day, if you know me, I know you, and we know each other but you’re not willing to help me get to where I’m trying to go, I don’t really have much use for you. When you have a list of goals to achieve and you’re willing to work all day and all night for as long as it takes to reach them, you don’t have time for unnecessary connections, chitchat, or distractions because there’s only 86,400 seconds per day and the clock is ticking. Networking isn’t about swapping business cards or collecting a list of e-mail addresses. It’s about building a team of authentic connections, serving others, and communicating in order to make progress.

Create a starting-five, if you will, of an honest team of people who will hold you accountable, complement your personality and learning style, support and encourage your efforts, and help you stay focused on tracking and achieving your goals. No one person can be everything for you, except God. The following list is simply a recommendation for roles to assign to your friends, family, and/or mentors:


Point Guard – This person is a proven effective, efficient, and excellent leader who excels in all forms of communication (verbal, written, body language, etc.) As a leader, their role is to provide clear direction, tell you when you’re making a mistake, and tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it. If a leader doesn’t keep it real with you, what good are they?

Shooting Guard – They are a great listener, very trustworthy and consistent. When you need to vent, you can go to this person to communicate whatever you need and they are there to listen and provide positive and honest feedback.


Small Forward – A very versatile position, often interchangeable with the shooting guard, this person is the most dependable. They have to be able to play multiple roles and they also have to be reliable. You can count on them to fight for you literally and figuratively, whenever or wherever, for whatever.

Power Forward – This member of your team will specialize in evaluating your progress and making sure that you keep your eyes on your goal and that you aren’t wasting precious time with unproductive actions. It’s imperative that you attach a timeline to your goals, and this person will hold you accountable for reaching your goals on time.

Center – This is the tallest and usually the strongest on the court in basketball and the tallest man sees the furthest. Your center is someone you look up to who will give you guidance from what they have seen based on their life experiences. This person has seen it all, done it all, and knows how to rebound from adversity, standing tall and tough. A smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.


Free Agents – These people don’t fall into one of the other categories specifically, but they can be used whenever you need, for whatever purpose. Their roles may change, but they remain a key part of your team when you use them.

Fans – Support system that helps you.

Groupies – Support system that distracts you.

Opposing team – Haters, Hecklers, Faultfinders.

Imagine how much more productive you would be if everyone that you knew was genuinely concerned with helping you move forward, and you were equally concerned with helping them as well. Don’t ever forget to show the people around you that you appreciate their help.

Your direction and destination in life is your responsibility but it also depends heavily on whom you surround yourself with. Ultimately, you become them.

© 2013 Kevin R. Claiborne II

Full post: http://theinformationage.co/2013/01/27/establish-your-all-star-roster-of-support/

January 28, 2013 at 7:48 am
Elise (10) (@heynowcosmicchild) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@kclaibo2, Thanks :) I like how you outlined this. I’ve been having a bit of a rough day and It’s helped me to read this and see that I do have these types of people in my life.


Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

I… prefer to keep my friends based on their taste in music. I’ve made the most authentic connections with people based on our feelings for music overall. It happens naturally and interdependently. I’m not sure if you’ll take this as criticism or as my personal opinion, but I can’t see a difference. What I read in this post is how to pick up friends based on their useful qualities especially for you. I don’t think that way really, being friends with someone on specific conditions isn’t really true friendship, isn’t it? And every single person has more than one personality trait to put them in a category of what role they have in your life.

Maybe if you think of a friendship as partnership, I’d agree more.

PsYcheDeLiC (50) (@xavv) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

I stopped reading at no one person can be everything except god.

Dr. K (18) (@kclaibo2) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@beyond, thanks for the comment.
To put things in perspective this was written for purposes of defining friends roles strictly for goal achievement purposes primarily in career or personal life.
This wasn’t really meant to be some etched in stone guide for finding friends in general. Obviously there are way more criteria
Thanks for reading and commenting

Dr. K (18) (@kclaibo2) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@xavv, I figured many people would do the same and I hesitated to type it.. But no one person can be EVERYTHING to you if you believe in god because that means they would be your god also…
I hope that makes sense.

You probably made assumptions about me as a person before finishing my post.
It might help you to read entire passages before you judge someone’s work. Maybe you can gain knowledge regardless of your beliefs.
You don’t know if I believe in gods or not but you let three letters throw you off from a message deeper than your preconceived notions.

Dr. K (18) (@kclaibo2) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@heynowcosmicchild, thanks. I tried to work with this analogy as best I could..
Although these aren’t the only qualities you need in friends, I do believe they are significant in order to help you keep focused on your goals.

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