Am I being impatient, or is she just teasing me?

Quartknee15 (@TL2016) 5 years, 12 months ago

I’ve been seeing a girl for almost a month. It’s important to mention that she has a boyfriend of 5 months. We both like each other a lot and we’ve spent a lot of time together because her bf works during the day and we both work nights. She’s said more than once that she would rather be with me, but she is too worried about hurting him to break up with him right now. 

Our ‘relationship’ feels pretty much like a real relationship that doesn’t have an official title and is, so far, limited to basically 2nd base sexually. We talk to each other all day long every day because we enjoy talking to each other, we click really well, and her boyfriend is more interested in his friends and playing video games to carrying on a real conversation via texting like she and I have been doing for nearly a month. 

She has also taken a big interest in my 7 month old son even tho I haven’t let her meet him yet. She has even shopped for and bought clothes for my son just because she wanted to. 

The main issue that I keep having is that we make out, with both of us being half naked, for hours each time we hang out. We also fake fuck until she feels like she’s about to give in to temptation which leaves me with blue balls.

I know some girls wait longer than others before they decide to have sex, but being left unsatisfied, and in physical pain, without a good reason is getting difficult. 

Other things noteworthy:

I believe she does like me more than her current boyfriend, I’m 25 and they’re both 20. She enjoys the experience I have and says that I’m a lot more mature than he is.

We do spend a lot of time talking about each other’s feelings.

I have never tried to pressure her into having sex, nor have I ever bitched or complained when she decides not to go farther. I’ve been nice to her about it and very understanding.

Does it sound like this girl using me for attention and affection, or is she just waiting long enough to trust me before she’s ready to sleep with me and break up with her boyfriend?

August 15, 2016 at 5:59 am
JackAz (1) (@jackaz) 5 years, 11 months ago ago

Yes. You are her emotional tampon. She is using you. She’s not worried about “hurting him.” She is having her cake and eating it. She will eventually give in and have sex with you, but she won’t leave him for you.

You’re being played for a fool. 

Why listen to me? I’m 55 years old. I’ve been around the block.

Hiko (0) (@bouliouf) 5 years, 11 months ago ago

The fact that she isn’t leaving her boyfriend for you is pretty self explanatory.

For now she doesn’t need to. She has you and him. Sounds great doesn’t it ?
As JackAz said, she will eventually sleep with you but what’s going to make her leave her boyfriend for you ? Sex ? I don’t think so.

What about you ? Are you okay with the fact that she is fooling her actual boyfriend and that you are the “bad guy” ? I mean, it’s not your fault, she is cheating and you aren’t but still, how do you feel with being that guy ?

Moreover, how do you feel regarding the fact that you are starting a relation with someone cheating on her actual boyfriend ?

If she wants you, she will leave her boyfriend but she has to choose. You can’t be a hobby. First choice or nothing !

Suereyya (164) (@drapetomania) 5 years, 11 months ago ago

You need to cut this girl out of your life, right the fuck now, and never, and I mean NEVER, talk to her again. 

1. She has a boyfriend, of 5 YEARS, and behind his back makes out with a dude she’s known for a month? What the hell? 

2. So she shows ‘interest’ in your son. Do you have any idea how bad this could turn out? What if one day he starts looking up at her, seeing a mother in her, and in her stupidity she decides to find another guy to ‘fake’ fuck, leaving you and your son behind. 

3. She might end up sleeping with you, and break up with her boyfriend – but honestly, what kind of relationship do you think you’re going to have with a person who’s that messed up? 

Both of you guys need to get your shit together and start thinking long and hard about the bullshit you’ve been pulling off. Jesus, people like you piss me off so much. This is so wrong on so many levels.

Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 5 years, 11 months ago ago

She is using you for attention and emotional stimulation. She’s bored with her boyfriend and you are her entertainment. 

Don’t get me wrong, she probably is not doing it with malicious intent, but it’s pretty clear what’s going on, and I can tell by your post that you know what’s going on but don’t want to face it.

I will advise against getting further involved with this girl, but some lessons have to be learned firsthand. Good luck!

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