Am i fleeing from myself or is this place just not right for me?

 wackawacka (@wackawacka)5 years, 9 months ago

Born and raised in Scandinavia I moved  away from my family to be with my boyfriend in Australia in my late teens. I lived there for a few years but decided to move back “home” when i felt that things werent working out with my bf. The time in Australia had its ups and downs with times of feeling lonely and missing my family and sometimes feeling like beeing in another world, becausde of how far it is away from Scandinavia. And then there where great times when i really felt that Australia was my home and i never wanna move back to Scandinavia. Something i never really felt actually living in Scandinavia. Had a vision for as long as i can remember that i never wanted to be normal and just live a normal life like everyone else back in my home town.

Anyways, now ive lived back in Scandinavia for a little bit more than 2 years. I finished a diploma and have also started uni here. I have gotten a few new friends and a new boyfriend but everyday since i came back I have never stopped thinking of oz and missing it terribly. Always comparing the 2 countries im torn between. It was a big step for me to start an education here as that means im tied here for a while wich makes me feel suffocated as i want to leave and go somewhere else all the time. Now i have actually turned really depressed feeling like i dont know myself at all anymore and dont know where i belong. I dont get to do the things i love because there is simply no way of doing it over here such as surfing, climbing or hangin at the beach. My bf would go mad if i just went to oz for a visit as he feels threatened by it cus i always talk about it.

So when i live in oz i feel like im in the place but miss my family so terribly much, but living here just does not give me anything its dark and rainy most of the time and is just not my thing. My mum says im just fleeing from myself and my insecurities and selfdependence. Im not sure?? What should i do??

September 2, 2015 at 3:21 pm
Dhyan (37) (@Dhyan) 5 years, 9 months ago ago

You should marry  me:-)  as I feel lonely :-))) .   Have  you ever heard  of hand  dialogue ?  Make one hand  Scandinavia  and another  hand  Australia.  
Now  focus  on one hand,  and let  him speak to the other. Pretend  they are  really  the 2 parts   Let  both  hands  talk.  You just  listen  to your  hands.  Let  them speak  out,  there  intention. Let  them try  to find a compromise.  Try it please.  Greets 

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Bryan (104) (@Substratum) 5 years, 9 months ago ago

I think you should listen to your Mum at least in terms of recognizing that this is all coming from inside of you. You’re telling a story which contains all the answers you’re looking for but only if you recognize that the story is describing you, not the external circumstances you’re talking about. You’re actually describing what you’re doing to cause your state of conflict and feeling depressed and disconnected…but you seem to think that even the things you are doing are just somehow happening to you. You don’t seem to recognize that you are the cause of your own experience. If you are always comparing where you are to a place where you are not then you cannot really BE where you are. It’s like you’re drinking a glass of milk and comparing it to a glass of orange juice which ruins your experience of drinking the milk. Then you blame the milk…but the milk isn’t sour and Scandinavia isn’t dark and rainy and preventing you from doing things you love. So “what you should do’ is maybe read a little Eastern philosophy about “being where you are”, “judgements”, “drama”, “being at cause vs blaming”, “intention”, “responsibility”, “acceptance”, “life as a dream”…it really doesn’t matter if it’s from philosophy or religion or psychology or who the author is… just the fundamental wisdom relating to “Being Here Now” could transform the way you are feeling in a heartbeat.

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Frankie (3) (@wmassion) 5 years, 9 months ago ago

Everyone faces different struggles in life. The roots may be the same or different, but it is important to identify them. Do you feel scared of the future in some way? Of what it may hold or reaching some outcome you don’t want? Or do fear losing certain things you have taken time effort to secure?

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Sheila (0) (@Sheila-Taylor) 5 years, 3 months ago ago

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