An experience in Ego Death

Zoevega (@zoevega) 8 years, 8 months ago

Ego Death: the concept of losing the identification with individual awareness and becoming timeless,eternal and existent in the form of collective consciousness.

Within my short-lived experience of this form I became aware of how much our ego embeds itself so deep within us, in attempt to burrow into our very essence; creating trap doors and false exits within our own thought processes. The obstacle we all have to face if we wish to touch a a lighter state is that of the ego and how it is bolted very firmly into our physical bodies. It seems now that as our society becomes more competitive the ego becomes a fashionable accessory which provides us with a false feeling of power over another. We parade around with this disingenuous armour of ego-confidence which voices in our head complimentary praise for our actions; thus whatever path we take in life we receive a reassuring warmth that we are doing right. We become trapped in the illusion that whoever has the biggest ego has the most power, and whoever has the most power in life is ‘winning’. This societal trick convinces us that life is a race, a competition, and that to succeed we must be as separate as we possibly can otherwise we can not achieve.

Thus when I was exposed to a unexpected loss of identification with worldly awareness, my conscious outlook became that of fear; the ego protecting itself from slipping away. Locked in a momentary awareness, my vision kept zooming in and out of what I can only describe as the optical image of existence. As I zoomed in the previous frame became a distant memory which faded into nothingness, so much so that I could no longer recall it. Sounds which occurred in these snapshots of life echoed three fold until the slide was changed and a new projection appeared before my eyes. All the while my ego played it’s part in inducing fear, convincing me I was dying and in immediate danger, therefore within each of these moments of terrified awareness I became sure I had to fight to my life. Mustering up all the psychological strength I could I fought to join each moment into a slide show, a montage of happenings; to prove to myself I existed.

However, the real event was my essence using these moments as a cathartic release for past instances which my ego held onto which induced the paranoid outlook which had plagued me for over a year. Notwithstanding this the ego created more fear during the catharsis and convinced me of my ‘impending doom’, therefore anchoring itself to me as vital for my survival. What became apparent to me was I was in an infinite ebbing and flowing cycle, one of which I had been in for 12 months; my ego would convince me of danger and a problem and present itself as the solution and the protector, embedding itself deeper and deeper within the layers of my psyche.
This epiphany redirected my entire focus on life, it visually displayed to me how to live within the moment and opened my eyes to how the egos need for survival comes before any psychological stability of its hosted essence.

Living your life feeding your ego will ultimately result in you losing the true being you are to physical enslavement. I’m still in the process of ‘un-anchoring’ mine and discovering all the trap doors it has created within the layers of my mind. It is clear that when I have completely freed myself from from the vibratory patterns of the ego, I will be free from the fear that has been holding me back.

(Taken from a Blog piece I wrote today:
(Facebook community I’m trying to form:

December 1, 2013 at 9:30 am
MichaelFHedge (0) (@MichaelFHedge) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

my friend’s step-sister makes $62/hr on the computer. She has been without work for five months but last month her paycheck was $17713 just working on the computer for a few hours. website link………….>>>

Nick (12) (@iloveyou) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@zoevega, I like this! I felt like I had shed a layer of the onion ego last night, cool that I found this the next morning :). One part of your writing that stuck out to me was,
“my ego would convince me of danger and a problem and present itself as the solution and the protector, embedding itself deeper and deeper within the layers of my psyche.”

This reminds me of a discussion we had in one of my classes. Where a group of people would induce a problem into the world, or society, and then come out with a ‘solution’ of sorts to ‘fix’ the problem. Good stuff, keep up the writing and have a great day.

Zoevega (11) (@zoevega) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@iloveyou, Thanks for that Nick! I’m happy that I can connection with even just one person when writing my experiences makes you feel as if someone is running a parallel with your life!

Ahhhhh sort of like Social engineering on a small scale? So interesting to learn about those sort of dynamics!

I feel lighter in myself after shedding a layer of manufactured awareness, I’m still on my journey though! Things only get easier and more clear :)

Alex (14) (@imjustdifferent) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@zoevega, That’s so similar to my ego death. However the thing is that there is no death. In my experience I went into a timeless state of being. While in that state when i reached the peak of the timeless self my greatest fears appeared before me. I have a religious friend who is in the timeless but he did it though Judaism. When i spoke to him he planted a seed thought in me that the way I am doing it so wrong and therefore giving me the assumption that i will die the wrong way and that god will punish me. The more i focus on this thought the more it grew. I had to face this thought at my peak state of being timeless however i kept believing the fear is right and i am wrong and i was unable to fully face the fear of being “wrong” . I realize now that the Eternal Now has no religions and that the Now itself has no religion, therefore i realize that I’ve been deceived into believing into something that I am not “Out of Love” from this religious friend of mine that is convicted that he is right. He most likely intentionally planted the seed in me. What a jerk!

Give credence to no fear my friend. It is a tool of religion. A tool of the government. And any other ruler. When you are asking a question from the state of fear and someone gives you an answer you end up getting owned by that answer. It is a tool of everything that is not YOU! That’s the paradox haha.

So how does the ego not die?

In reality there are only two forms of communication in the physicality of the brain and mind. The ego or the voice and then the silence. The job of the ego is to communicate to the silence or as I like to call it “the higherself”. You make it a partnership and work in harmony and balance. When the ego begins to reply to itself and not accept itself it creates a false sense of self. This in itself IS a communication the the “higher self” sending the message that you are not doing your job as the higher self and that you are not “listening” to the negativity that non acceptance creates..Therefore this creates a conflict and restarts the conflict of inner resistance.

Hope this helped, Namaste

Zoevega (11) (@zoevega) 8 years, 8 months ago ago

@imjustdifferent, I see, so make use of the ego – do not be it’s slave but its master! Thank you for your insight it was a fresh idea of the concept and really did open my eyes to another view on the ego.
Your friend maybe didn’t consciously plant the seed but may have had the seed planted in them by someone else and is just passing it along – like negativity or a virus! It is sad to paint anyone ones philosophy on life as the ‘wrong’ method of reaching an enlightened state! If we can all reach a higher vibratory frequency in which we ripple positivity to one another then we should not judge or condemn other theologies.

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