Anger and relationships, being a woman
If I stand up for myself I am nagging
If I decide not to be affected I am snotty
If I punch something I am crazy
If I cry I am a drama queen
If I withdraw my love I am not feminine
If I pamper myself I am vain
If I honor my emotion it’s because I’m a woman and not a person
If I talk about gender issues I’m a nuisance
If I stifle anger I actually become a histrionic psycho
If I make a thread about this I’m an attention whore….
I want to know what the key to communicating between sexes is when there is a strongly built filter of seeing women’s perception as less than considerable and the result of that being women acting helpless and reinforcing the passive-aggressive reputation that perpetuates the sad disconnect between men and women
Also the sexual manipulation being the only form of power for women and everything being really fucked up and discouraging.
Now I talk too much because I am a woman!!
Seems like real life but maybe not
Look, you only add to that filter when you go all “it’s because I’m a woman” and blah blah.
It’s not because of your gender, period.
The perception thing is not about genders either. It’s about logic and rationality vs impulsive reaction. It’s about understanding vs wishful opinion.
Most women usually go with the latter in both those regards.
It’s not because of their gender, it’s chosen.
This reaction of reinforcing what got you “wtich marked” in the first place is one of the reasons men think women are crazy.
It’s the exact opposite of solution-based thinking. Which is also why men generally have less problems, because they look for solutions, women just get worked up.
Women get pissed of when men try to help them with their issues, because they don’t really want a solution, just someone to listen and validate the feeling.
Again, that’s crazy, and it’s not because of gender.
Women always say “hear me rawr,” but the rawr never comes.. Just like fucking Mowgli.
Look, you’re generally a bright and clever person… I don’t understand why you gotta have your head so far up your C-word on this matter.
Take a moment to breathe, assess the situation and conquer it. Then the problems would be gone.
There’s a solution to everything. You just gotta look for it.
Yea… See this is what I wanted to hear
See I have to document my patheticness so I will be honest with myself
Everyone is pathetic. Some of us are just better at dealing with it.
Don’t fear your sensitivity, don’t try to fight it, don’t bow to it. It’s not your enemy, just fucking enjoy it, breathe, live.
Evolution gave you this sensitivity as a tool to reach higher, but you’re just beating yourself with it.
It’s not a handicap, it’s a privilege. I envy those who have it, I’m happy for them, I just wish they would put it to good use.
Exaggerated and one-sided.
It’s not because you’re a woman, that has nothing to do with it. This “us vs them” blame game of playing the is getting really old and sickening.
Let’s add a bit of perspective.
Buggering someone into submission is not the same as standing up for yourself.
Getting hatered (that’s a word now) and being snotty is not the same thing.
(Also, what does it matter if someone calls you snotty… if you’re so unaffected? Hmm?)
Men who punch stuff get called crazy as well. And a whole bunch of other stuff.
Crying over that sort of stuff is for drama queens.
Withdrawing love is a strange thing to do, but I don’t see how it’s unfeminine. Hasn’t that always been common for the ladies?
People will always call others vain for that sort of stuff. Haters. Who gives a dong? Deal with it.
Emotion is overrated anyways, and people will always have weird ideas about it.
And yknow what, there’s nothing wrong with just being a woman. It’s something to be proud of.
Gender issues is a bunch of bull, no matter what side you pick or what little navel-gazing branch of it.
Do you like when Jehova’s witnesses barge into your house to promote their delusion? No? Then stop doing the same thing to others….
If you derail when you can’t handle the anger that’s something you oughtta deal with. Unless you wanna be that way.
But hey, I bet you didn’t really want anyone’s advice.
Am I right or am I wrong?
No, actually I felt really emotional and wanted to get perspective on something I experience with most man/woman interactions in general. Just being a woman. I think people should express themselves when they feel intensely. Maybe someone will relate and discover something. It’s one sided because it’s my side. I agree you are completely free to choose and handle your emotions. I do think empathy is important for connecting with people though and I want to share the frustration of being an empathetic person and not receiving that too when people expect you to love them. This isn’t a blame post, it’s more of an is this for real bc Im lost post. You say no
if a man cries, he is weak.
If a man shows love, he is weak
goes both ways ;) Or you just hang out with traditionalist people.
I hang out with my subconscious
well he’s got a point that men do have their share of expectations imposed on them too. What has made you post it is how society or partner has made you view yourself. That’s the part you should re-examine. Someone’s blowing off your reality because they want you to feel invalidated. It could be you yourself, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t just start doing that because you wanted to feel shitty about being a woman and expressing how you feel.
Thanks for the understanding… it’s mostly my experience in my family and community, and then people I attracted in the past and now I have this cemented insecurity inside me. I know this is disturbed thinking and I don’t believe in it… I agree with manimal that asking for consideration for my intensity isn’t the answer. I am responsible for my inner peace and deserve that power… i also agree that being with someone that stifles you is a shitty place to be.
Honestly, just subtract anything dealing with woman from your statements and it sounds like very very mild emotional abuse – invalidation, minimizing, deflecting, so no wonder it would make you feel negative about feeling what you do feel. That’s what the problem is, in a nutshell. So reassess situations that cause you to feel especially bad and take note that you can control your reaction for YOUR own benefit. Just don’t tip the balance of being responsible for how you can affect others too.
Also, people with self value will attract people who can respect that, so your relationships in the future should improve as your self esteem improves.
Pardon me? what has the subconscious mind got to do with gender relations?