I just wanted to make a hot discussion with a lot of replies and i also like sharing and listening to trip stories so if you have one feel free to share it and it might also help people who hasn’t tripped but are looking to get an understanding. thanks
I’ve done LSD five times so I have way to many stories to share them all but I’ll share a few of my favorites.
So one time I realized that I needed to go to the grocery store, I was really high at that point but I knew I could handle it. Anyways, I get there and grab a few things that I need but then I realized that I wouldn’t be able to carry everything I needed. Then right as I thought “Damn I should have grabbed a shopping cart” an empty shopping cart came into view. It was behind a display and I couldn’t see it before, and it just really blew my mind how right when I realized I needed a shopping cart I found one. I almost started crying because I thought it was a profound example of how we create our reality with our thoughts.
My first time doing LSD was still probably the most important trip. I did it with a friend I hadn’t seen since I got started on my spiritual journey and at that point I had a really hard time connecting and feeling comfortable around people. We tripped at my apartment and spent the whole time just chilling on the couch talking (except for a brief excursion to get some cannabis). The most profound part of the trip was at one point I stopped identifying with my bodily awareness and instead I began to identify with the space we were in, it felt like I was the room and my friend and my physical body were just to facets of my new spatial awareness. As the room I realized that the conversations my friend and I were having was just a way for me to get to know the different aspects of myself. It was a really amazing experience and I feel like words don’t do it justice but oh well that’s what we have to communicate with.
One day I decided to spontaneously quit my job and travel up to Wisconsin to try my hand at busking (playing music on street corners for money). I remembered that a friend from high existence lived up there and got a hold of him to tell him I’d be coming up and would like to meet in person. He was awesome and had a couple of equally awesome roommates that I ended up playing some music with. I gave him a psychedelic painting and he gave me some dmt, mushrooms, and ayahuasca (in capsules). I returned home from this trip and didn’t touch the ayahuasca for a couple of months; I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to take it.
One weekend my significant other was to be leaving town to go see a band that I couldn’t afford to accompany him for, and I figured this was the perfect time to finally take it since I’d be home alone, just me and the dog.
I was not doing very well during this time period. I was depressed, drinking a lot, in the wrong relationship, had zero motivation for anything, and even started having suicidal thoughts when I would get really drunk and do something stupid (falling off my bike on the way home from a show at a bar, getting black out drunk on moonshine while camping and then having to be carried to the car, etc). I couldn’t have fun without alcohol except brief interludes here and there, my social anxiety was through the roof, I couldn’t hold down a job (or didn’t want to), and spent all my money on alcohol.
Unsurprisingly, the entire 3-4 days my boyfriend was out of town I got drunk the entire time. There was a day though, that I reserved for the aya. I was only a little hung over, swallowed the 2 capsules and proceeded to watch a french movie called The Diving bell and the Butterfly (which I highly recommend). It took quite a while to kick in, I’d say an hour at least, and it started hitting me right at a less than pleasant part of the movie which featured the main character getting his eye sewn up. I paused the movie and lay back on the couch and looked up at one of my paintings on the wall of colorful mountains with paint drips coming down them and the paint was actually dripping at me. Everything was moving and I was overwhelmed with sensation. It was very intense but I could feel it continuing to build and knew I was nowhere near the peak yet.
My entire body was buzzing and I felt uncomfortable in my skin. At this point my mental state gets a bit fuzzy in retrospect because I was tripping so hard but I started walking around my apartment trying to figure out what was what. If you have ever done DMT it was exactly as intense as being in the throes of blasting off… except it didn’t end in 5-10 minutes but just kept going and building.
Ayahuasca is no easier to describe than DMT, but when I closed my eyes patterns of light energy were flowing directly at me, striped, ever changing, neon, florescent, dancing, mandalas with faces in them, bombarding my psyche from all angles. It was too intense to close my eyes and see all that so for the most part I kept them open, and everything was glowing and vibrant and vibrating.
Basically I was walking or running from room to room in a frenzy and quite a few different times ended up on my bed, lying on my stomach, switching to my back, kicking my legs, trying to get a grip on what was happening to me and get comfortable somehow but I just couldn’t. Essentially I was resisting what was happening to me and was really afraid.
Eventually while lying there curled up in the fetal position my best friend crossed my mind. I only see her about once a year and it kills me but I don’t consciously think about it, and the last time I saw her things were intense and painful because our interactions consisted of me flying out to California to confront her about an eating disorder and try to convince her to get treatment (which didn’t go well). I started crying really hard and all of the suppressed emotion that I had been refusing to feel came out, and I felt how much I love her and how much it sucked to not be able to show it or make that clear.
Then I looked up at my wall and saw a flag poster that someone had given me(someone else I met off HE, bless you magical people), and this was a person that I felt an intense connection with but was unable to explore at all due to distance and circumstances (jealousy from my boyfriend and other weirdness). So all of that suppressed emotion (6+ months worth of me telling myself it doesn’t really matter) came out and I realized I feel deeply for this person and cried really hard also at the frustration of not being able to know him. I felt an intense despair at the current paradigms of relationships that inhibit freedom of connection which is a beautiful and pure thing.
At some point my dog came in the room to try to cuddle up to me because she could tell I was sad (she’s very sensitive). This entire time I think I was speaking aloud to myself saying things like “what is happening?” “I’m really scared right now”, etc.
I realized how dark things had gotten for me and that I had been trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol and I let myself actually realize that I was feeling suicidal lately, and got really scared. Anything that I had previously lied to myself about or shoved down into my subconscious came through loud and clear.
At some point I decided I should try to take a shower and took my clothes off and I was still crying, sitting on the floor and hugging my knees. It took me a long time to get in the actual shower. Once I got in there I could not figure out how to change the temperature so I just huddled under the too hot water and closed my eyes and it felt like it was coming at me from every angle instead of just above. Once I got out of the shower it took me a million years to actually put clothes back on. I was so all over the place I kept telling myself to do it, and forgetting, and walking around, and feeling like people were going to see inside my apartment, and reminding myself to put clothes on, repeat.
Once I started coming down I felt like I had been carved out with a spoon, like all of my suppressed frustrations and sadness had been brought to the surface and I was blank. I didn’t feel happy, I just felt cleaned out… and still really tripped out and strange, and then I started saying “ok I think i’m getting normal again now…” I sat outside on the porch and watched the clouds and saw faces in them and felt extremely serene.
This experience, though intense and cathartic, did not immediately change my outward behavior. As soon as I came down I went after the beers in the fridge and some rum I had in there. But I think it was the first domino in a huge life shift. I continued living in the same way, for about 2 weeks, but it grew more and more painful until I finally could not stand it and snapped and moved halfway across the country to start life over from the ground up. This was 4 months ago now and I am in a much better place and am learning to actually deal with emotions rather than suppress them and let them eat me alive.
Wow, this would be one of the reasons I would want to try psychedelics – of course for the experience itself, but mainly for what seems to be some kind of personal “change” that follows as a result.. I think you’re right – based on pure assumption – that it takes time before the “real” impact of the experience comes around, but like that steve jobs quote “we can only connect the dots looking backwards” it could really be that this experience was the catalyst for the change you’ve had the courage to act out and create for yourself – Happy for you! hope it’s still progressing positively :-)
I was incredibly arrogant. Tripped LSD a handful of times and thought I knew what the psychedelic experience was all about. This story takes place June of 2013. My friend hooked me up with some 2c-b and I took it and had a pleasant day. Not really many visuals, but I felt nice. However I had been planning to trip bawls… so seven or so hours after I took the 2c-b I asked my roommate if I could try her shrooms. She said that they were really old, and didn’t know if they would work, so she told me to eat the entire thing ( 3.5g). So I made myself a peanut butter and shroom sammich and slammed em down. This is my first ever fungi experience… hold on for this one.
So my roommate was babysitting this little 4 year old girl, so we went down to the park to play. At the park there were tons of kids, so we were kicking around a soccer ball, it was a good time. Then it hit me…. I started noticing how weird it was that there were all of these little kids around, they were full people, but trapped in theses mini-bodies. Then I looked out at the skyline (sun was setting) and the trees looked like a painting. I was in awe, but this come up was punching me in the chin. So I told my roommate that it is kicking in and we should head back. On the walk back I noticed that the ground was pure dirt, didn’t think anything of it. When we arrived at my house I looked back towards the park and the ground along the path was lush green grass. This troubled me a little bit, so I sat down and decided to think about what happened. As I am sitting on the ground I am tossing the soccer ball up and down. In the background the street and well, my entire vision started rotating clockwise. So I said fuck that.. and went inside.
So by this time I was starting to feel extremely overwhelmed. So I went to my bedroom and laid down to try and sleep it off (so silly). Obviously I could not sleep, so I put some music on. No No No by Yeah Yeah Yeahs was playing and it was near the end of the song, where it gets really eerie. I totally forgot about the eerie part, and I thought that I was stretching the timing of the song out. So I slammed my computer shut and put it away. No more music from now on. At this time my roommate had to go to the little girl’s house for the rest of the night, so I was completely alone. I was texting one of my buddies who has tried pretty much every drug, and we were talking about meth. I remember the text he sent me was something like, “I’m not saying you should try it, but you should totally try it.” And reading that text sent me down a spiral hard. I was freaked the fuck out. Welcome to the nightmare.
Some time passes and I am having a lot of scary thoughts, like who is in control of this universe. How does my life fit in with this whole thing, are there power houses within the world that I am not aware about. It got to a point where I was cycling in my head. I could see my life play out an infinite amount of times. I would be born, die; born again, live past the first death, then die; etc. and so forth forever! This brought me to a point where I knew I could just kill myself and come back. So I was in my living room and I had a knife held right to my wrist. I was thinking about cutting, because I knew I would just come back. Then I realized what I was doing, got super freaked out and threw the knife across the room. This was when I got into a physical loop. In the physical loop I was walking a c pattern in the first floor of my house. I would start off laying in my bed, I would get up and go to the front door, look outside. Close the door then I would walk to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. After the mirror I would head all the way back to my room and it was repeat over and over.
After a while of acting out the physical loop I became conscious that I was doing it. However, it didn’t make sense to me why I was so unconscious while doing it. The only thing that came to mind was the game The Sims. I was being controlled from something else out there, but only in my house (just like in the game). All of this is just speculation…. then I just piss my pants, out of nowhere. That is when I KNEW that I was in The Sims. I took the wet shorts off, and then I felt uncomfortable since I was naked from the waist down. So then I took my shirt off, I felt completely natural. At this point, I knew that if I wanted to take control of myself, I had to leave the house. So I walk to the front door, open it and walk outside. I stand there for a second, then I turn around and walk back in. Failure, they got me back in… So this time, I walk outside and then SLAM the door behind me, then I walked down the path to the side walk, then took a right and started walking down the side walk. It was roughly 11:30pm.
The house that was right across from mine was this little frat house, and they were drinking that night. So as I am walking down the side walk I can hear them say, “Hey man, come check this out. This kid is walking down the street naked! HAHAH no way!! Dude, check this out!” Since I could hear them saying that, I thought they were trying to make me feel insecure, which would lure me back to my house, where I DID NOT want to be. So I kept walking, then someone comes up and grabs me by the arm. I turn and face him and he says, “What are you doing?” to which I reply, “Uhhh… going for a walk?” Then he says, “You know that you are naked right?” and I say, “Yes.” Then I rip my arm from his grip and I keep walking down the street.
I make it like a half of a block, then I see a cop car roll up. The lights turn on, then the floodlight is put on me. (This is the best metaphor I’ve come up with for this situations, i.e. foreshadowing) I was like a bug headed to the lamp for death. My father is actually a police officer, so I felt comfortable going to this cop. The problem, is that when I walked toward him, he talked to me… But I could not understand anything he was saying to me. He sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Whompwoompwompwop… So I got closer and closer and closer to him, almost putting my right ear up to him. What the cop is saying to me, is STOP. Don’t get any closer, etc. But I got to close, so he gives me a really really strong shove back. Unbeknown to him.. I have been practicing martial arts for 8 years at that point. So I have some pretty hardened reflexes. When he went to push me, I went with it, which cocked me up to push him back. I pushed him with both hands, and he landed on his ass. ( I’d like to point out, that in my head I was doing nothing wrong. I was afraid, and was trying to escape my house. When he pushed me, I felt the aggression and mistook it for him coming after me). So then I thought he was going to take me back to my house, so I had to get out of there. I open the cop car door, grab the steering wheel, and just as I am about to sit in, I notice that there is someone in the passenger’s seat. The cop had a ride-along with him. This part puzzled me, so I sat there thinking. That is when it hit me…. I was tased. The prongs stuck into my back, and the electricity when through my body in super slow motion. Up until it hit the ends of my fingers and toes, then it went fast and I got immediately down on the ground.
So on the ground I am being arrested, he asks if I did drugs to which I reply,”Everyone did!” Then he asked me what drugs I took, and I just shut my eyes and my mouth. I thought he was going to take me away and kill me, and I very much did not want to die. Since I wasn’t talking, they had to call an ambulance to come pick me up and see what was wrong with me… Inside the ambulance the guy was asking me questions, and the first one is obvious, “What is your name?” To that question, I told him my name was Shane, he then asks me, “You are Shane?” And I thought, “How weird for him to question what I just told him. Why would he do that? This whole night was very surreal, almost as if everything was a lie. Maybe I am not Shane.” As I am having these thoughts, I have my eyes closed and I am holding my breath, I hold my breath for too long, then I start to hyperventilate. It gets to a point where I am sitting there, then I just accept that I am not Shane. Right when I accepted that I am not who I always thought I was…. Blank. Nothing, I was completely nowhere and can’t explain it. It was pure relaxation and acceptance. I woke up in the hospital three hours later, got two tickets from the police officer. One for indecent exposure, and the other for resisting arrest. The indecent exposure was taken down to a littering ticket, and I did 6mo probation to get the resist off my record. Now I am free and clear, except I came out with more knowledge of myself than I knew what to do with.
So far this is one of my most treasured experiences in my life. It was everything all at once. Extremely shitty to extremely ecstatic. I have learned soo much from this experience, and it’s not a bad story too ;)