Are women the new men?

kiley (@kiley) 10 years, 5 months ago

@ BirdFlyingHigh, The millions of years we spent evolving as nomadic people have sculpted our brains, not the last 5000 years of organized society.

December 13, 2011 at 9:56 pm
kiley (1) (@kiley) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I realized the other day that men and women have switched roles. I miss the days when guys actually came up and asked us on dates, took us out, and paid for the first date.( I’m not saying women should never pay, but the gesture is nice) Now girls always have to be the one who texts a guys first, plans the dates, and lets the guys off of their traditional hook. It just seems to me like women have started to grow balls and become the person who asks out the guy. Are men growing girl parts down there? Or is my perspective just skewed? Let me know what you think.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

It’s a fine line between being a jackass and being confident. It’s one of the few things that I am horrible at. I am not afraid to jump out of airplanes, race downhill mtb’s, I never doubt my ability to do things that are within my control (i.e. when I enter a race, I go in knowing that I’m going to win, there is no other option), dying doesn’t really scare me. Dating does. Stupid I know, but everyone’s got something.

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Anonymous (11) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

haha maybe you just haven’t met the right man. And I’d assume it has something to do with women realizing it’s stupid to sit around and wait for things to come to them.

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ithinkican (0) (@ithinkican) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@kiley, this is a weird place for a kitchen

Idk what guys you are talking about but they sure do sound like so little men. I for one will never let my date take me out and plan everything. that is just weird in my case, but really i think its just those guys being themselfs and probably are just use to things coming to them first and everything landing in my hands. well thats what i think atleast.

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I think your perspective is skewed. Guys still do plenty of asking in my experience. However, I’m not part of any sort of “meat market” scene.

If you know you like a more traditional approach, it’s ok to want that in your life… but I think it’s important to think about why, or if maybe you are putting undue importance on gestures. I personally think it’s kind of wrong to expect a guy to pay for things more than I do, especially if I know I just want a casual relationship (ie: sex) and am not looking for anything deeper.

If you’re into being traditional, let people know – I’m sure there are plenty of guys who feel the same way you do and will jump all over the chance to get a girl who’s not all modern and “masculine” and ballsy.

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Daniel (7) (@meta) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

No the roles haven’t switched, some dudes are just pansies. I do think that if women want social equality then it shouldn’t matter though.

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I think we just need a new concept of “man”. Before, one of the defining characteristics of men was that they weren’t women, and didn’t have to listen to women, and were stronger than women. Basically, part of being a man was actively putting down women (or actively not giving a shit about them).

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

We need a concept of “man” that isn’t all about how “men” have more power than women. I think that’s what used to define manliness; dominance over women.

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Rachel (0) (@fakeplastictrees) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Well, the roles haven’t fully switched, and i don’t think they ever will fully, nor do I think anyone would want them to. But we are more and more reaching a place in our society where traditional concepts of masculinity and femininity are more fluid, so men are not forced to act in a “masculine” way if it does not feel comfortable, just as women do not have to act traditionally “feminine” either. This transformation is by no means fully complete, but if the feminist movement ever comes to full fruition that’s what it will look like. Men and women being choosing their own identities without being confined by the labels of “masculine” and “feminine”.

I think it’s hard to be a man in our culture today. Women have been able to cast off many of the old stereotypes and are for the most part allowed to embrace a more “masculine” identity if they wish. But while the old role of the man as primary provider and protector is obsolete, our society looks down on a man who embraces a more feminine role.

I guess even today, when women have achieved so much, our culture still looks down on the traits of “femininity” regardless of which sex these traits are found in.

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Rachel (0) (@fakeplastictrees) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@BirdFlyingHigh, I agree completely. As long as manhood is defined as being over or superior to womanhood, the raising up of the status of women inevitably leads to the lowering of the status of men. But it doesn’t have to be this way, if we could achieve a more positive definition of masculinity.

Positive masculinity does not have to be the opposite of femininity. An ideal man and an ideal woman are not opposites. They are both human beings, with the overlapping traits of an ideal human in common.

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conglistedsoldier (18) (@mumbojumbo63) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Definitely not. But some men are transforming into women. Figuratively and physically. Kind of weird. But its up to them I guess.

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daveb (119) (@daveb) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Yes, and vice versa. I’m 36 and it’s fun to hear that women are now always the ones texting for dates. 20 years ago (I just realized that I was dating before some of you were born), there was no texting and women asking men out was just becoming popular. point being, society has to change or else it stagnates. take the good with the bad.

both sexes have worked hard to break out of classical patterns and understand each other’s traditional roles. women are actively fighting old stereotypes, and men are encouraging them to do that. certainly, my son has more varied role models than I did. my son sees me working with my chainsaw and axe while my wife cooks dinner, but he also sees my wife with the spackle and sandpaper while I’m changing my daugher’s diaper. My dad is a wonderful man but he never changed a diaper, so I think these are on balance positive changes for society.

I believe there is a continuum of masculinity and sexuality. For my part, I am an emotional guy (which I would have repressed 50 years ago), but I will never trade my cargo pants for a man-bag no matter what metros tell me about convenience. the current generation, more than ever before, has been permitted and encouraged to express where they fall on that spectrum, so I think it makes sense that you’re seeing fewer manly men and more take-charge women – it’s a more realistic expression of the continuum, whereas in the past all guys liked football, whether they actually liked it or not. and if it ends up going “too far” (whatever that means) in the other direction, well, it’s better than the change never happening.

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kiley (1) (@kiley) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I like what you all have to say it’s very interesting to see so many different perspectives on the subject of sexuality. So let me pose one more question to you. This is purely an opinion question. What is your ideal date like. I would like to hear from both men and women on this one. Where would you go? What would you do? And who is your ideal date?

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Anonymous (11) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@kiley, A spontaneous date with a spontaneous girl; the fun for me is in the not knowing. But if I was going to plan a date right now… it would depend on the gal but hopefully involve some good food, good conversation, and maybe end with a movie… but it is tuesday afternoon

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Kristian (81) (@lordcat) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I too am quite sad at what I read somewhere called it the pussyification of men

I’m quite glad to retain masculinity,

As much as I am. I used to be a pussy too.(I was always the fat one that got picked on and such in school but still had good friends and life) but then I came across askmen.com and started reading and followed what it said. =D any aspiring man should start there! IMO

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Yep. “Men” are pussies, and women act like ballbusting bitches, it’s fucking hilarious, but also very tragic. Mostly hilarious to me though. This sissification of boys and the women’s “rights” movements are the main problems here, or more correctly, what’s behind that stuff is the problem. It’s a huge problem with society itself, like a house built on a bad foundation, in a fucking swamp. It’s all about personal choice though, either follow society’s retardation or to pull your own strings. The women aren’t to blame though, the “men” are. What the world needs is more real men, but there are very very few. The whole population has been so feminized it’s ridiculous, it’s horrible. But also hilarious of course haha.

As for the ideal date… I would go anywhere, or nowhere, doesn’t matter. What I would like to do is to have fun. My ideal date is a nice, hot woman. Keepin’ it simple and real.

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Luigi (1,453) (@luigiblue) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I’m completely blunt and honest with Women. If I want to take them out I will ask them, I will pay for the date, I will initiate first. Some women don’t like it but those girls aren’t worth my time. I HATE games, Love games. If it’s for sex, then sure play all the games you want or you need to get it but when it comes to Love, games aren’t safe. In my area, most women are so stuck up that you can’t just go up to them and ask them out. They decide who is worthy to even talk to them. It’s pretty horrible and its a sign that humanity is lost in certain places. Some girls feed off of men talking to them and asking them out only to say no and gain that power over them.

For example, I was at a bar and a women came up next to me. She looks over to me, smiled and Small talk between us started and I asked for her name..she turns to me and says “I don’t have a name” in the most rude tone you can think of. I turned over to her and said “I guess humanity is dead” she says “excuse me” and I say ” Two people can’t just have a conversation these days. a simple introduction doesn’t mean I want in your pants, or even that I want you period. I asked for your name because I am a human being meeting another human being.” She says “I don’t want you, Sorry” Then she turns to her friend and says ” This guy keeps hitting on me”

That explains about 80% of the women in my area.

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

My ideal date involves trying something new (either a place or activity) and some good music. So the perfect date for me would be some awesome urban exploration, hopefully in an awesomely creepy old abandoned building, and then a smoky, dirty blues bar for some amazing live music.

I like people sharing the things they’re passionate about with me, so I feel like whoever asked the other person out would do the planning. :)

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Uhh. When women get better at using reason, problem solving, inventing and theory crafting then they can be the new men. Societal roles are full of shit anyway. I choose not to exhibit a preference for neither masculinity nor femininity. Those individuals who have an equanimity between the two poles are the strongest thinkers and the most resilient persons.

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@luigi Unfortunately, women have to be on guard because while YOU may not want in our pants just because you laid eyes on us, a lot of guys do. And unfortunately, there is often no way of telling you guys apart.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@luigi Don’t blame the girls, you gotta feel bad for em. That’s just their reaction to this shitty condition society’s in, that’s just the feminine way. If dozens of creepy, depressive, repulsive people tried to get in your pants all the time you would be on guard just like these girls. And “getting power” from men is what most women do, even the “nice” ones. Either by turning them down or by supplicating to them, depending on how they perceive the guy.

Girls are much more reactive than men, and less logical. This is no sexist bullshit, it’s how our brains work. When a girl acts like that, don’t get all neg on her and say humanity is dead, that’s just another reaction to a reaction. Where’s the sense in that? Don’t take people’s bullshit so seriously, it doesn’t mean anything and shouldn’t affect you. You could either just walk away from her not giving a fuck, or keep chatting (and end up giving her a fuck lol) or something like that, but to be negative like that is just a waste of time and energy. It’s bad for you and her.

Don’t get mad with them, forgive them for they know not what they do.

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Brandon P’naantan Pinkney (321) (@hlalhabattu) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I personally feel that this is simply just an example of the shift in gender roles as a whole, since females are experiencing moree quality, the whole idea of the aggressive female worker is less frowned upon than it was say 50 years ago where most women would find themselves as only teachers nurses or housewives for the most part, furthermore on the male side, it seems that because of this shift, men may be experiencing a sort of gender role neutrality in the sense that you have an increasing number of men choosing to become stay at home dads or go into female roles in lieu of tradition

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No.

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BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

@Manimal Doesn’t it bother you that “Girls are much more reactive than men, and less logical”?

If being self-contained and logical is valued in men, why would it not be valued in women? If you were to advise these girls on how to improve themselves, would you advise them to become less reactive and more logical?

We’ve clashed on gender stuff before and I’m really interested to hear what you think.

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richard <3explore (4) (@comeasyouare) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

sexy tahhhhhhime.

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