This past weekend I was talking with a girl I just met and I asked her if she was happy and without hesitation and with such certainty she said ‘no’ . it got me thinking about why we continue in the direction we do when we are so clearly unhappy. It dawned on me that maybe she hadn’t asked herself that question, maybe she doesn’t know what makes her happy, or something is holding her back. Either way, it got me thinking and asking questions. Questions lead to answers.
Happiness can be tricky. You first need to know what makes you happy and then how to pursue it because happiness comes from the journey of doing what you want. There is no end goal or happy destination. Additionally, it requires knowing how to recognize and overcome obstacles along the way.
Are you happy; doing what makes you happy? Have you even asked yourself this question recently? If so, why not?
Do you not know what makes you happy or is something holding you back?
The first step is to figure out what makes you happy. Not what your family, friends, or coworkers want for you; what you want! If you do, great but if you don’t know it’s ‘okay.’ Take a few minutes each day or a few times a week to sit in a quiet, comfortable place to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. Breathing exercises and/or meditation can help. With all the noise and distractions in the world, we can live our whole lives without ever getting in tune with our core self. Pay attention to your gut, aka your intuition. It is the best guidance counselor you will ever have. Many mistakes in life come from our failure to interpret what our gut is telling us or even worse we ignore it. Once you are in sync with your gut, you will have better insights into what does make you happy. What makes one happy varies for each of us but what I know is that everything that is worth pursing, be it personal, relational or career wise comes from a place of love. You may not know right now, but when you find your love your gut will recognize it and you will be inexplicable drawn toward your love. That is why it is so important to be in tune with your gut.
Once you know what you want, what next? This may be simple or difficult. Sometimes there clear direction or a course of action to take, but many times there isn’t. Make a plan or road map. If doesn’t have to be the ultimate design but it’s a start. If you have no idea where to start, make a bold move in the direction your gut tells you. Try something. It may not pay off initially but but you will have overcame inertia and taken the first step, learned and eliminated one barrier to what you want to achieve.
Even when you know what you want and/or have direction there’s another barrier than often keeps us from happiness. That barrier is resistance; either external or internal resistance.
External resistance is the forces outside yourself that block your path. These can large or small but can definitely be overcame. No one succeeds on their first attempt, and failure is an essential part of success. Remember, if you are pursing something out of love you will be happier failing at something you love than succeeding at something you don’t. You will find your way because your love will drive you. Your love will keep you going when all the external forces tell you to quit or block your path.
Internal resistance is the harder to overcome because it comes from within oneself. Your mind is powerful tool that can work for you or against you. Internal resistance is all our self-doubt, fear and anxiety that tells us to turn back, play it safe and don’t dream too big. It can be paralyzing, but without believing in yourself no other external resistance is required to stop you. Think what you want is impossible to achieve? Take a look back on the past few years, or even decades of your life and look where you have gone and what you have accomplished. I bet there are many things you’ve done that you never could have imagined only a short while ago. Now project that forward to what’s ahead for you and your future becomes a path full of endless possibilities and best yet, it is your path to create.
It is my belief that love is stronger than resistance. When you embrace your love, you grow stronger and resistance weakens.
You may feel like you’re facing a steep incline and/or a strong headwind. This is called resistance training. As you go, especially once you feel you’re really making progress, the resistance may and will probably grow, but so will you and once the winds shift, which they will, you will be strong and have more than enough momentum to achieve.
I can you hear you saying, “it’s easier said than done son” That’s your internal resistance talking. Sure it’s not easy but the difficulty of the journey is what makes for a great achievement.
im working on it…
i had a rough start..
but ive worked through most of it
i have my own family, that i love
finally getting back on my feet and for the first time in 8 years i dont have to force ALL of my smiles lol
but i need to finish these songs that ive written, getting them recorded and mastered
and get them out of my system
so that i can start writing new ones, that arent from the same “dark place” i was back then
then i want to spend the rest of my life trying to make the world a better place
and spending time with my family
or something like that lol
“You first need to know what makes you happy and then how to pursue it because happiness comes from the journey of doing what you want.” It’s not a fucking mystery. People in your life can make you happy, a lot of people pursue either the wrong people or in the wrong way. Instead of asking people if they’re happy or not, better ask them did they made someone happy. You can see how hard that is from thinking about your own happiness all the time. :)